英语语法：4 April Fools' Day Episode

I hope you enjoy this April Fools' Day show. It was created by Will Ross, host of The Traveling Avatar's Quick and Dirty Tips for a Better Second Life.

[I quick-posted the transcript¹ for the listeners stationed in Iraq. I didn't realize they can't listen! The editing may not be perfect, but here it is.]

[Will's voice] Grammar Girl here, today we’re going to talk about the semicolon--the Roger Clinton of the punctuation³ world. Considered more useful than the regular colon² by most grammar scholars because of its ability to form a winking⁴ smiley face, which is far cuter then the traditional smiley face emoticon, the semicolon can also... [ring] Oh! Looks like we have a call!

[Call from Stewart, who comments on Grammar Girl's “hotness” and asks about bingoing, bingoed, and the plural⁵ of bingo.]

Hi, Stewart, and first off I’m sorry to hear about your battle with the mysterious assassin known only as “The Ninja.”  As for your comments on my smoking hotness, remember, Grammar Girl affected⁶ you with her hotness.  But the effect of her hotness, was you buying her a diamond tennis bracelet⁷. 

I’m glad to hear about your newfound grammatical skills, and I’ll be glad to answer your question.  The short answer to your question is that if you win a game of bingo, you can say whatever you’d like. You’re a winner, and you get to make the rules. This is called the “Winners Write the Grammar Rule” which was created by Sir Ethan Fancybloomers, Lord of Wellingsly after his was the only ship of the line to fight the battle of Trafalgar from the shore after being run aground due to confusion about when the celebration rum was to be given to the sailors. Despite being put on the “honor system” to consume their rum only after Napoleon’s fleet was decimated, the entire crew of 415 jumped the gun leading to one of the most darkest moments in Royal Navy History. But I digress.

I use a simple device to remember the “winner’s rule.” Whenever you’re confused, just think “I before thee, after any victory.”  It’s this rule that makes any X-Box live victory trash talking grammatically correct, regardless of how it’s phrased.

Now back to the subject of ninjas. When describing a group of ninjas you…

Grammar Girl:  Will, what are you doing in my office?

Will: Ohhh, this is your office?  See, I get confused because our offices look so similar.

Grammar Girl:  Here’s a good way to tell them apart.  My office is in Arizona.

Will: Cool, I’ll just finish this one thing…

Grammar Girl: Out!

Will: Grammar girl signing out!

1 transcript   

n.抄本，誊本，副本，肄业证书

参考例句：

• A transcript of the tapes was presented as evidence in court.一份录音带的文字本作为证据被呈交法庭。
• They wouldn't let me have a transcript of the interview.他们拒绝给我一份采访的文字整理稿。

2 colon   

n.冒号，结肠，直肠

参考例句：

• Here,too,the colon must be followed by a dash.这里也是一样，应当在冒号后加破折号。
• The colon is the locus of a large concentration of bacteria.结肠是大浓度的细菌所在地。

3 punctuation   

n.标点符号，标点法

参考例句：

• My son's punctuation is terrible.我儿子的标点符号很糟糕。
• A piece of writing without any punctuation is difficult to understand.一篇没有任何标点符号的文章是很难懂的。

4 winking   

n.瞬眼，目语v.使眼色( wink的现在分词 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮

参考例句：

• Anyone can do it; it's as easy as winking. 这谁都办得到，简直易如反掌。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• The stars were winking in the clear sky. 星星在明亮的天空中闪烁。 来自《简明英汉词典》

5 plural   

n.复数；复数形式；adj.复数的

参考例句：

• Most plural nouns in English end in's '.英语的复数名词多以s结尾。
• Here you should use plural pronoun.这里你应该用复数代词。

6 affected   

adj.不自然的，假装的

参考例句：

• She showed an affected interest in our subject.她假装对我们的课题感到兴趣。
• His manners are affected.他的态度不自然。

7 bracelet   

n.手镯，臂镯

参考例句：

• The jeweler charges lots of money to set diamonds in a bracelet.珠宝匠要很多钱才肯把钻石镶在手镯上。
• She left her gold bracelet as a pledge.她留下她的金手镯作抵押品。