英语语法：84 Sentence Length

Grammar Girl here.

Today's topic is sentence length. This episode was written by guest writer, Bonnie Trenga, author of The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier. I was glad to hear from those of you who enjoyed Bonnie's writing last week. I'll be back as the writer next week, but Bonnie and other guest writers may continue to fill in for me on occasion as I start working on my next book and head out this summer for my book tour.

Long Sentences

My dad has a memorable¹ poster in his bathroom: a diagram of a ridiculously long sentence by Marcel Proust. It’s from his masterpiece, À la recherche² du temps perdu (Remembrance of Things Past, also translated as In Search of Lost Time), and it starts thus: “Their honor precarious³, their liberty provisional, lasting⁴ only until the discovery of their crime; their position unstable⁵....” Blah, blah, blah. I’ve examined it numerous times over the last two decades, but I’ve yet to finish wading⁶ through all 958 words. At 150 words longer than this entire column, the sentence is just unreadable. Believe me, I’ve tried to stick with it till the end, but it’s impossible.

Sentence Fragments

I have to applaud Proust for being able to keep everything straight in that sentence—because he sure used a lot of semicolons, commas, clauses, and other tricks to lengthen⁷ it. I suppose French literary geniuses didn’t take advantage of copy editors back then. Well, I’m going to suck it up and be the first to trim that monstrous⁸ sentence. Here we go. “Their honor precarious, their sentence too long.” [Period.] Oh no! Now my honor is precarious. My crime has been discovered: Those seven words are an incomplete sentence, also known as a sentence fragment. Do you think Proust ever wrote one of those? Nah. Bet not.

All of this Proust talk is making me hungry for a madeleine, a small shell-shaped cake that had a starring role in In Search of Lost Time. I think we should go in search of the perfect length for a sentence. The long and the short of it is this: If you stuff in too many things, you’ve got an overly long sentence; if you leave out a subject, verb and/or object, you’re stuck with a fragment.

Finding the Proper Length

Proust’s enormous sentence is an anomaly, but long sentences certainly haven’t disappeared. These days, plenty of meandering⁹ sentences roam through manuscripts. These behemoths suffer from too many “which,” “that” and “who” clauses; an overabundance of commas and semicolons; at least a few cases of “and” or “but”; and several sets of em dashes. When your readers try to wade¹⁰ through such a sentence, they become lost amidst clauses and commas, and they give up before the sentence is finished.

Your readers are following a path you’ve laid out for them. Don’t try to be a turbo guide and make them traipse along too many side streets. They’ll become exhausted¹¹ and collapse¹². On the other hand, you don’t want to whisk readers along too quickly with too many incomplete sentences. They’ll feel as if they’ve missed something. Fragments call attention to themselves; if you overdo¹³ them, you’ll annoy your readers.

Your tour group doesn’t like feeling fatigued¹⁴ and frustrated¹⁵, so you must morph into a better tour guide. Plan your excursion carefully and plot out a manageable route. Your trip’s core should consist mostly of medium-sized sentences. Budget for a few windy detours¹⁶ that point out some fascinating facts, and make a couple quick stops in the sentence fragment department to keep participants alert. Whatever you do, don’t fall into a monotonous¹⁷ medium-sized rhythm that anesthetizes your readers.

“Medium-sized” means minuscule¹⁸ by Proust’s standards. Most sentences should contain no more than 30 or 40 words. Your readers just don’t have a very long attention span, and their feet tire easily. Back in Proust’s day, e-mail and TV didn’t exist to distract the public, so I guess readers were a hardier¹⁹ bunch. They probably perambulated around town a bit more, too.

Finding and Fixing Long Sentences

If you've resolved to tame your inner Proust, I have a couple of suggestions. First, although Microsoft Word's Grammar Checker isn't known for its helpfulness, it does notice long sentences and sentence fragments. If Grammar Checker has filled your screen with squiggly lines, pay attention. It won’t fix your sentences, but it will help you identify them. Second, if you read your sentence but can’t remember what happened at the beginning, the sentence is too long. Have a madeleine while you rest and refresh your memory. After your tummy is full, you can chop up your sentence into manageable bits.

The best way to cut down a super-long sentence is to figure out your main points. (You’ve probably crammed²⁰ two or three main points into your long sentence.) Once you remember what they are, highlight each one with its own medium-sized sentence. Then deal with your leftover²¹ crumbs²². Once you’ve allotted²³ everything to its proper location on your tour, make sure everything fits together seamlessly. Then you can rest.

Administrative²⁴

This piece originally appeared in Writer's Digest, and was written by Bonnie Trenga. So it's her father who has the poster of the long Proust sentence. You can find more of her work at。。。 Bonnie is the the author of The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier, which takes similarly fun approach to grammar and which you can buy from a link on quickanddirtytips.com.

Questions and comments for me go to 。。。or the voicemail line at 206-338-GIRL. You can also read the full transcript²⁵ of this podcast at quickanddirtytips.com, where you can leave comments and check out the other great podcasts. This week The Mighty²⁶ Mommy is talking about what to do when your children are angels at home and monsters away from home.

That's all. Thanks for listening.

 

1 memorable   

adj.值得回忆的，难忘的，特别的，显著的

参考例句：

• This was indeed the most memorable day of my life.这的确是我一生中最值得怀念的日子。
• The veteran soldier has fought many memorable battles.这个老兵参加过许多难忘的战斗。

2 recherche   

adj.精选的；罕有的

参考例句：

• Applicants should have good PC skills with common office software,email and internet recherche.在办公软件、电子邮件、网络检索等个人电脑应用方面，申请人应具备良好的操作技能。
• The restaurant prides itself on its recherche menu.饭店以其精美的菜单自豪。

3 precarious   

adj.不安定的，靠不住的；根据不足的

参考例句：

• Our financial situation had become precarious.我们的财务状况已变得不稳定了。
• He earned a precarious living as an artist.作为一个艺术家，他过得是朝不保夕的生活。

4 lasting   

adj.永久的，永恒的；vbl.持续，维持

参考例句：

• The lasting war debased the value of the dollar.持久的战争使美元贬值。
• We hope for a lasting settlement of all these troubles.我们希望这些纠纷能获得永久的解决。

5 unstable   

adj.不稳定的，易变的

参考例句：

• This bookcase is too unstable to hold so many books.这书橱很不结实，装不了这么多书。
• The patient's condition was unstable.那患者的病情不稳定。

6 wading   

（从水、泥等）蹚，走过，跋( wade的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• The man tucked up his trousers for wading. 那人卷起裤子，准备涉水。
• The children were wading in the sea. 孩子们在海水中走着。

7 lengthen   

vt.使伸长，延长

参考例句：

• He asked the tailor to lengthen his coat.他请裁缝把他的外衣放长些。
• The teacher told her to lengthen her paper out.老师让她把论文加长。

8 monstrous   

adj.巨大的；恐怖的；可耻的，丢脸的

参考例句：

• The smoke began to whirl and grew into a monstrous column.浓烟开始盘旋上升，形成了一个巨大的烟柱。
• Your behaviour in class is monstrous!你在课堂上的行为真是丢人！

9 meandering   

蜿蜒的河流，漫步，聊天

参考例句：

• The village seemed deserted except for small boys and a meandering donkey. 整个村子的人都像是逃光了，只留下了几个小男孩和一头正在游游荡荡的小毛驴。 来自教父部分
• We often took a walk along the meandering river after supper. 晚饭后我们常沿着那条弯弯曲曲的小河散步。

10 wade   

v.跋涉，涉水；n.跋涉

参考例句：

• We had to wade through the river to the opposite bank.我们只好涉水过河到对岸。
• We cannot but wade across the river.我们只好趟水过去。

11 exhausted   

adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的

参考例句：

• It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长，到家时我们已筋疲力尽。
• Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。

12 collapse   

vi.累倒；昏倒；倒塌；塌陷

参考例句：

• The country's economy is on the verge of collapse.国家的经济已到了崩溃的边缘。
• The engineer made a complete diagnosis of the bridge's collapse.工程师对桥的倒塌做了一次彻底的调查分析。

13 overdo   

vt.把...做得过头，演得过火

参考例句：

• Do not overdo your privilege of reproving me.不要过分使用责备我的特权。
• The taxi drivers' association is urging its members,who can work as many hours as they want,not to overdo it.出租车司机协会劝告那些工作时长不受限制的会员不要疲劳驾驶。

14 fatigued   

adj. 疲乏的

参考例句：

• The exercises fatigued her. 操练使她感到很疲乏。
• The President smiled, with fatigued tolerance for a minor person's naivety. 总统笑了笑，疲惫地表现出对一个下级人员的天真想法的宽容。

15 frustrated   

adj.挫败的，失意的，泄气的v.使不成功( frustrate的过去式和过去分词 )；挫败；使受挫折；令人沮丧

参考例句：

• It's very easy to get frustrated in this job. 这个工作很容易令人懊恼。
• The bad weather frustrated all our hopes of going out. 恶劣的天气破坏了我们出行的愿望。 来自《简明英汉词典》

16 detours   

绕行的路( detour的名词复数 )； 绕道，兜圈子

参考例句：

• Local wars and bandits often blocked their travel, making countless detours necessary. 内战和盗匪也常阻挡他们前进，迫使他们绕了无数弯路。
• Could it be that all these detours had brought them to Moshi Pass? 难道绕来绕去，绕到磨石口来了吗？ 来自汉英文学 - 骆驼祥子

17 monotonous   

adj.单调的，一成不变的，使人厌倦的

参考例句：

• She thought life in the small town was monotonous.她觉得小镇上的生活单调而乏味。
• His articles are fixed in form and monotonous in content.他的文章千篇一律，一个调调儿。

18 minuscule   

adj.非常小的；极不重要的

参考例句：

• The human race only a minuscule portion of the earth's history.人类只有占有极小部分地球历史。
• As things stand,Hong Kong's renminbi banking system is minuscule.就目前的情况而言，香港的人民币银行体系可谓微不足道。

19 hardier   

能吃苦耐劳的，坚强的( hardy的比较级 )； （植物等）耐寒的

参考例句：

• Theoretically, experiments with genes that confer resistance to disease or herbicides could create hardier weeds. 从理论上说，用含有抗病或抗除草剂的基因进行试验，可能产生更难于对付的杂草。
• Similar fruit to Black Mission, but hardier and a smaller size tree than Mission. 类似加洲黑，但比加洲黑强壮，果比加洲黑更小的尺寸。

20 crammed   

adj.塞满的，挤满的；大口地吃；快速贪婪地吃v.把…塞满；填入；临时抱佛脚( cram的过去式)

参考例句：

• He crammed eight people into his car. 他往他的车里硬塞进八个人。
• All the shelves were crammed with books. 所有的架子上都堆满了书。

21 leftover   

n.剩货，残留物，剩饭；adj.残余的

参考例句：

• These narrow roads are a leftover from the days of horse-drawn carriages.这些小道是从马车时代沿用下来的。
• Wonder if that bakery lets us take leftover home.不知道那家糕饼店会不会让我们把卖剩的带回家。

22 crumbs   

int. (表示惊讶)哎呀 n. 碎屑 名词crumb的复数形式

参考例句：

• She stood up and brushed the crumbs from her sweater. 她站起身掸掉了毛衣上的面包屑。
• Oh crumbs! Is that the time? 啊，天哪！都这会儿啦？

23 allotted   

分配，拨给，摊派( allot的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• I completed the test within the time allotted . 我在限定的时间内完成了试验。
• Each passenger slept on the berth allotted to him. 每个旅客都睡在分配给他的铺位上。

24 administrative   

adj.行政的，管理的

参考例句：

• The administrative burden must be lifted from local government.必须解除地方政府的行政负担。
• He regarded all these administrative details as beneath his notice.他认为行政管理上的这些琐事都不值一顾。

25 transcript   

n.抄本，誊本，副本，肄业证书

参考例句：

• A transcript of the tapes was presented as evidence in court.一份录音带的文字本作为证据被呈交法庭。
• They wouldn't let me have a transcript of the interview.他们拒绝给我一份采访的文字整理稿。

26 mighty   

adj.强有力的；巨大的

参考例句：

• A mighty force was about to break loose.一股巨大的力量即将迸发而出。
• The mighty iceberg came into view.巨大的冰山出现在眼前。