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CHAPTER FOURTEEN I Return to Gateshead
The next day I got a letter from Gateshead. There was much trouble and sadness there.
My cousin, John Reed1, had spent all his money and most of his mother’s. he had been in prison most of his life. He owed3 many people money. A week before this, he had killed himself. When she heard this terrible news, Mrs. Reed became terribly ill, because john was still her favorite child. Although she could hardly speak, she told my cousins Eliza and Georigiana that she had to see me. Why, I did not know.
Of course, I did not want to go there, but I could not refuse to see Mrs. Reed, when she might die. So I went to ask Mr. Rochester if I would travel to Gateshead for a short time.
“What is it, Jane?” he asked when I saw him. We had left the guests and were sitting alone in the library.
“Well, sir, I would like to visit my aunt, who is ill, for a week or two.”
“Jane, I thought you had no family!”
“I have no family who loves or cares about me, sir. This woman is Mrs. Reed, my uncle’s wife. She is dying4, and wants to see me. I can’t say no to a dying woman.”
“Well, Jane, I see you are determined5 to go. where does she live, and how long will you stay?”
“She lives at Gateshead, sir. It is one hundred miles away. I’ll come back as soon as I can.”
“You must promise me to stay only a week,” Mr. Rochester said. I wondered why he looked so worried.
“I can’t promise you that, sir. I might have to stay longer, but I’ll come back soon.”
“But you can’t travel a hundred miles all alone, can you?”
“My cousins sent a carriage for me, sir, so I can leave tomorrow.”
Mr. Rochester did not say anything for a moment.
“Well, if you’re going to go, you’ll need some money. I haven’t paid you yet! How much money have you got, Jane?” he asked, smiling at me. I showed him the few coins that I had and he laughed. Then took out some money.
“Here is 50 pounds,” he said.
“But sir, that’s too much! You only owe2 me 15pounds for my teaching6!” I cried.
“You’re right. Give me that money back. If you had 50 pounds, you might stay away for months! Here’s 10 pounds, is that enough?”
“But now you owe me five pounds, sir.”
“You’ll have to come back and get it then,” he said, laughing.
“There’s something else I want to talk to you about, sir,” I said. This was not going to be easy for me to say. “You have told me you’re going to marry Miss Ingram soon, and that Adele should go away to school. So I must get ready to find another job somewhere. I will begin looking.”
“Don’t do that!” he said. “Promise me, Jane, not to look for another job. I’ll take care of everything.”
I didn’t understand him at all, but he looked so worried that I said, “I promise, sir.”
“good! And now I must go back to my guests. They are waiting for me.”
“Goodbye, Mr. Rochester,” I said.
The next day I traveled for many hours. As I traveled, I realized it had been nine years since I had left Gateshead. In that time, I had become a different, stronger person. Most importantly, I did not hate the Reed family any more.
I was happy to see my old friend Bessie again. She had married Robert the coachman, and was always busy with her three young children. My cousins Eliza and Georgiana had disliked me almost as much as their brother John. They had not wanted me to come to Gateshead, so they pretended7 I was not there, and never spoke8 to me. I did not really care. I told the housekeeper9 that I would stay for only a few days, and then I went to Mrs. Reed’s room.
I remembered the room from my childhood. Mrs. Reed was lying in the bed. I went to her and took her hand.
“How are you, dear aunt?” I said gently. Many years ago, I had told Mrs. Reed that I would never call her “aunt” again, but seeing her so sick and alone, I felt sorry for her.
“Are you Jane Eyre?” she asked. Her face was pale as death, but still cold and hard. “That girl was so bad and troublesome! I was happy to send her away. And my poor, darling John! He needs so much money! What will happen…?” I could see that her mind was ill, so I left her to sleep.
During the next few days, Mrs. Reed got sicker. Every day I spent some time caring for her. The rest of the time I sat with Eliza and Georgiana, who had decided10 to speak to me. They wanted to tell me about their plans for the future. It was quite clear to me that they did not love their mother, and wanted her to die so that they could leave Gateshead.
One dark night I visited the dying woman. She lay in he bed, sleeping. For a while I stared out the window at the rain. I wondered about the great mystery of life and death. I remembered my friend Helen Burns, who had been dead for nine years now. she had been so sure she would go to heaven. I wondered, would Mrs. Reed go there too?
“Who are you, girl?” I heard the sick woman saying. “I have to see Jane Eyre. I must tell her something...the truth…”
“I am Jane Eyre, aunt,” I told her gently.
For a moment she looked into my eyes. “I know I am ill and old,” she said in a weak voice. “before I die, you must know something about yourself. I must tell you what I have done. Jane Eyre, there is a letter on my desk.. Take it and read it.”
I found the letter quickly. It said:
Madeira
Dear Mrs. Reed,
Please tell me where I can find my niece, Miss Jane Eyre. I am not married and have no children, so Jane will receive all my money and property11 when I die. I would like her to come to see me in Madeira, and perhaps live here.
John Eyre
I was so amazed12 that I could not speak for a few minutes. I had been poor all my life. Now, someone wanted to give me money and property! ” Aunt, I never knew of this letter, why?”
Mrs. Reed tried to sit up in bed, looking at me angrily. “I wrote your uncle and told him you had died, died of fever at the Lowood School!” she laughed in a hard way. “That was my revenge13 on you, child. My family always hated your father, for taking my sister away--- and I always disliked you! You were always so angry and violent14, such a bad child…but now I am dying… I thought you should know the truth,” she said.
“I was not as bad a child as you think, aunt,” I said gently. “It is true I was angry at you, but I would have loved you, if you had let me. Forget it all, and kiss me now, dear aunt.”
But she had disliked me for too many years, or she was ashamed15 at what she had done. She turned away from me. After a moment I left the room. She died that night, and no one at Gateshead missed her.
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1
reed
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| n.芦苇，芦丛，簧舌，簧片 | |
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2
owe
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| vt./vi.欠（债等）；感激；把……归功于某人 | |
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3
owed
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| v.感激( owe的过去式和过去分词 )；应把…归功于；欠…债；（对位高权重者）忠诚 | |
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4
dying
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| adj.垂死的，临终的 | |
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5
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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teaching
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| n.教学，执教，任教，讲授；(复数)教诲 | |
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7
pretended
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| adj.假装的；徒有外表的；传说的；号称的v.假装( pretend的过去式和过去分词 )；伪装；（尤指儿童）（在游戏中）装扮；自诩 | |
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8
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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housekeeper
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| n.管理家务的主妇，女管家 | |
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10
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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property
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| n.财产，所有物，所有权，性质，特性，（小）道具 | |
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amazed
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| adj.吃惊的，惊奇的v.使大为吃惊，使惊奇( amaze的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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revenge
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| v.报...之仇，为...报仇 ；n.报仇，复仇 | |
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14
violent
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| adj.暴力的，猛烈的，激烈的，极端的，凶暴的，歪曲的 | |
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15
ashamed
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| adj.感到惭愧，感到害臊，因为羞耻或勉强作某事 | |
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