美国国家公共电台 NPR 'Where Am I Now?' Mara Wilson Explains What Happened When Matilda Grew Up

'Where Am I Now?' Mara Wilson Explains What Happened When Matilda Grew Up 

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You might know her best as Roald Dahl's Matilda.

DANNY DEVITO: (As Harry² Wormwood) Get in the car, Melinda.

MARA WILSON: (As Matilda Wormwood) Matilda.

DEVITO: (As Harry Wormwood) Whatever.

MARTIN: Or as Natalie Hillard in "Mrs. Doubtfire."

WILSON: (As Natalie Hillard) You can't go now.

ROBIN³ WILLIAMS: (As Daniel Hillard) Honey, I have to.

WILSON: (As Natalie Hillard) We're in the middle of "Charlotte's Web." Who's going to finish it?

MARTIN: Or maybe as Susan Walker in "Miracle On 34th Street."

WILSON: (As Susan Walker) Santa Claus - I've known for a long time. He's not real.

MARTIN: Mara Wilson was a successful child actor. That is not who she is anymore. Now she's an author. She's written a book. It is called "Where Am I Now?" And she joins us from our studios in New York. Mara, thanks for being with us.

WILSON: Thank you so much for having me.

MARTIN: So before we start talking about what's complicated about being a child actor, because a lot of things are...

WILSON: Oh, yeah.

MARTIN: ...Let's talk about what is unequivocally great about it, because you did get to be in some amazing movies at a very young age.

WILSON: Yeah, thank you.

MARTIN: Did you - did that dawn on you?

WILSON: I think it didn't really resonate with me until I got "Matilda." At that point, I was thrilled because "Matilda" was a book that I had loved, a character that I had loved. Beforehand, I think it didn't really dawn on me, and maybe it's just because I was too young. You know, I was 5, 6 years old. But, you know, it's something that I realized much later. Like, oh, wow, this is really cool.

You know, I remember I got to have, you know, the most amazing birthday party ever, courtesy of Danny DeVito and his family. I got to travel. And on a pragmatic level, it helped me pay for college. You know, I'm not a millionaire, but it was a cushion. And that is something that, you know, in this day and age, you need to think about.

MARTIN: So you were clearly good at it. What stood out to directors about you? What made you catch their eye in these auditions⁴?

WILSON: Well, I think I had a good ear for dialogue from a young age. I think that was probably because I - that was probably because I spent a lot of times eavesdropping⁵ on my parents and my three older brothers (laughter). I loved to read from a young age, too. So because of that, I could read my lines which made things a lot easier. I don't think that I was a spectacularly cute kid. But I do think I have some of the, like, neoteny - you know, big eyes, big forehead kind of thing that indicate cuteness.

MARTIN: You do write a lot about your mom in this book.

WILSON: Yeah.

MARTIN: She died of cancer when you were just 8.

WILSON: Yeah.

MARTIN: Your mom had been so instrumental in your acting⁶. How do you think her death changed your perception of that career - did it, at such a young age?

WILSON: I think - sometimes I wish that I had stopped after "Matilda" because I think that, you know, that was really the peak for me. I was already sort of starting to age out of acting. I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep going. You know, I think it would have been a good time to re-evaluate things. But I think that after my mother died, I felt like I had to keep going because film was the only constant in my life.

MARTIN: You also weren't getting the roles that you wanted.

WILSON: No, I was not. I - the thing is, they always want child actors to play parts that are a few years younger than they are. But, you know, when you're a 12-, 13-year-old girl and your body's changing and your voice is changing, you can't, you know. I couldn't play 10 anymore. I didn't look 10 anymore. And I wasn't as cute anymore because I looked halfway⁷ between a child and an adult, which was what puberty is. And people didn't know what to do with me. I knew it. And I felt it. And it really hurt.

MARTIN: There's a heartbreaking moment in the book when you were 11, 12, going through puberty.

WILSON: Yeah.

MARTIN: And a producer came up to you and said, your body's changing.

WILSON: Yeah.

MARTIN: Can you tell that story?

WILSON: Well, yeah. I was on the set of a movie called "Thomas And The Magic Railroad," which was, you know, it was it was a kids' movie. It was fun to make. And I came to set one day after a few months away, and people were kind of giving each other worried looks, you know, the director and the costume designers. And I had to have the director come and sit with me and explain to me that, you know, my body was changing.

And they brought out these sports bras that were basically, you know, binders⁹. They were meant to bind⁸ my chest. I was horrified¹⁰. I felt embarrassed. I felt like I'd done something wrong. You know, when you're in middle school, when you're a preteen, you always worry - is everybody talking about me behind my back, the way that I look, and everybody was.

MARTIN: You finally decided¹¹ that you could let acting go. Did it sit with you OK?

WILSON: I think it was - it was kind of - there wasn't, like, one big moment where I knew I was done. There were a lot of moments where I was like, should I, should I not, should I rekindle¹² this, should I not, you know. You know, I talked to agents, thought about going on auditions. But I don't feel like my heart was in it. And I remember, you know, in college, I would sleep through my acting classes. I would self-sabotage because I was so afraid to let people see, you know, to see me as an actor. I was at NYU, and I knew there were a lot of good actors there.

And that's when I started focusing more on writing. Now, writing I had always loved, even, you know, on the sets of the various movies. I would always be in my trailer writing stories. You know, usually very similar to whatever Judy Blume or Beverly Cleary or Bruce Coville book I was reading at the time.

And I started writing dialogue. And I started doing, like, performance pieces, you know, like, 10-minute solo performance pieces. And eventually I did a one-woman show. And that felt so much more real than being on a set every day. There's that saying, I think Uta Hagen or somebody, you know, along those lines said, if you can live without it, you should. And I found that I could.

MARTIN: You wrote an entire chapter devoted¹³ to "Matilda" in the book...

WILSON: Yeah.

MARTIN: ...In the form of a letter.

WILSON: Yeah.

MARTIN: How do you think of her - Matilda? What's your relationship to her?

WILSON: Well, you know, it's - I had a teacher in college who said, I think it would help you if you wrote a letter to her. Because - I like to say that the most complicated relationship I'll ever have is one with a fictional¹⁴ 6-year-old girl, you know, because I wanted to be her so badly. And I - it helps me, in a way, to almost imagine that she does exist. It helped when I was feeling like everybody liked her more than they liked me and that, you know, I was going to be her for the rest of my life. I was going to be in her shadow for the rest of my life.

And it really helped me to go back to the book, to think about it and realize what a privilege that was because she is this sort of archetype of a young girl who gained power through knowledge, a young girl who wasn't afraid to, you know, cause mischief¹⁵ and rebel against authority and a young girl who was intelligent and thoughtful and considerate of her friends. And there are a lot of girls out there like that. I think it helps to think of her as a person because then it does feel like I honored her, you know.

MARTIN: So how do you feel now about who you are and who you are independent from these characters that have been so important to you in the past?

WILSON: I feel good. I feel good about myself. And I feel like I'm sort of in control of my own story and my own narrative¹⁶ which is a really good feeling to have because I don't think I had that when I was a child. I felt like somebody else was always telling my story or making up stories about me. And, as I have explained, making up stories and telling true stories has always been what I wanted to do. And it is what I'm still doing.

MARTIN: Mara Wilson. Her new memoir¹⁷ is called "Where Am I Now?" Thanks so much, Mara.

WILSON: Thank you so much for having me.

(SOUNDBITE OF MOVIE, "MATILDA")

(SOUNDBITE OF MOVIE, "MRS. DOUBTFIRE")

(SOUNDBITE OF MOVIE, "MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET")

(LAUGHTER)

1 browser   

n.浏览者

参考例句：

• View edits in a web browser.在浏览器中看编辑的效果。
• I think my browser has a list of shareware links.我想在浏览器中会有一系列的共享软件链接。

2 harry   

vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼

参考例句：

• Today,people feel more hurried and harried.今天，人们感到更加忙碌和苦恼。
• Obama harried business by Healthcare Reform plan.奥巴马用医改掠夺了商界。

3 robin   

n.知更鸟，红襟鸟

参考例句：

• The robin is the messenger of spring.知更鸟是报春的使者。
• We knew spring was coming as we had seen a robin.我们看见了一只知更鸟，知道春天要到了。

4 auditions   

n.（对拟做演员、歌手、乐师等人的）试听，试音( audition的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Find modeling auditions, casting calls& acting auditions, all in one place. 找一个立体感试听，铸造呼叫和表演试听一体的地方。 来自互联网
• We are now about to start auditions to find a touring guitarist. 我们现在准备找一个新的吉他手。 来自互联网

5 eavesdropping   

n. 偷听

参考例句：

• We caught him eavesdropping outside the window. 我们撞见他正在窗外偷听。
• Suddenly the kids,who had been eavesdropping,flew into the room. 突然间，一直在偷听的孩子们飞进屋来。

6 acting   

n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的

参考例句：

• Ignore her,she's just acting.别理她，她只是假装的。
• During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代，她的表演生涯黯然失色。

7 halfway   

adj.中途的，不彻底的，部分的；adv.半路地，在中途，在半途

参考例句：

• We had got only halfway when it began to get dark.走到半路，天就黑了。
• In study the worst danger is give up halfway.在学习上，最忌讳的是有始无终。

8 bind   

vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬

参考例句：

• I will let the waiter bind up the parcel for you.我让服务生帮你把包裹包起来。
• He wants a shirt that does not bind him.他要一件不使他觉得过紧的衬衫。

9 binders   

n.（司机行话）刹车器；（书籍的）装订机( binder的名词复数 )；（购买不动产时包括预付订金在内的）保证书；割捆机；活页封面

参考例句：

• Propellant binders based on these materials have excellent mechanical properties and good performance. 用这些材料制成的推进粘结剂的工作性能很好，而机械性能则更为突出。 来自辞典例句
• The and inferior binders fabrication process has become much more important. 黏合剂制作工艺优劣显得更加重要。 来自互联网

10 horrified   

a.(表现出)恐惧的

参考例句：

• The whole country was horrified by the killings. 全国都对这些凶杀案感到大为震惊。
• We were horrified at the conditions prevailing in local prisons. 地方监狱的普遍状况让我们震惊。

11 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

12 rekindle   

v.使再振作；再点火

参考例句：

• Nothing could rekindle her extinct passion.她激情已逝,无从心回意转。
• Is there anything could rekindle his extinct passion?有什么事情可重燃他逝去的热情呢？

13 devoted   

adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的

参考例句：

• He devoted his life to the educational cause of the motherland.他为祖国的教育事业贡献了一生。
• We devoted a lengthy and full discussion to this topic.我们对这个题目进行了长时间的充分讨论。

14 fictional   

adj.小说的，虚构的

参考例句：

• The names of the shops are entirely fictional.那些商店的名字完全是虚构的。
• The two authors represent the opposite poles of fictional genius.这两位作者代表了天才小说家两个极端。

15 mischief   

n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹

参考例句：

• Nobody took notice of the mischief of the matter. 没有人注意到这件事情所带来的危害。
• He seems to intend mischief.看来他想捣蛋。

16 narrative   

n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的

参考例句：

• He was a writer of great narrative power.他是一位颇有记述能力的作家。
• Neither author was very strong on narrative.两个作者都不是很善于讲故事。

17 memoir   

n.[pl.]回忆录，自传；记事录

参考例句：

• He has just published a memoir in honour of his captain.他刚刚出了一本传记来纪念他的队长。
• In her memoir,the actress wrote about the bittersweet memories of her first love.在那个女演员的自传中，她写到了自己苦乐掺半的初恋。