美国国家公共电台 NPR In 'Vacationland,' John Hodgman Tells The Funny Story Of His Life

 

ROBERT SIEGEL, HOST:

Remember John Hodgman, "Daily Show" expert on just about everything, co-star of the Apple Mac commercial campaign in which he played the clunky PC, cataloger of nonsensical histories in the three-book series called "The Areas Of My Expertise"? Well, John Hodgman is back with a memoir¹ called "Vacationland," which, as the promotional text on the book says, is about Hodgman's wandering in the metaphorical³ wilderness⁴ of his 40s, most of which is done in western Massachusetts and on the coast of Maine.

John Hodgman, it's good to have you back.

JOHN HODGMAN: It's wonderful to be back. Thank you.

SIEGEL: Let's talk about this different genre⁵ for you. It's not about prophecies of global doom⁶ foretold⁷ by the Mayan calendar. It doesn't include 700 hobo nicknames, as we've discussed in the past. It's a very funny book about your life, most of it true, even.

HODGMAN: Yeah.

SIEGEL: Why this new approach to writing?

HODGMAN: The truth was that after writing 1,000 pages of fake facts, I was tired of it. And frankly⁸ everyone's doing it now. So I needed to forge a new path. And what I was left with was the mere⁹ awful truth of my life, which is that I am a strange, white, male monster with bad facial hair staring down what I hope is the second half of my life, much of which takes place in the painful beaches of coastal¹¹ Maine and New England.

SIEGEL: Yeah. Speaking of facial hair, just to give a sense of the granular scope of your work here, you write about your mustache. I wonder if you could just read the passage about growing this mustache.

HODGMAN: Of course. (Reading) I grew my mustache for the same reason all of your weird¹² dads grew their mustaches. It's an evolutionary¹³ signal that says, I'm all done. A mustache sends a visual message to the mating population of Earth that says, no, thank you, I have procreated. My DNA¹⁴ is out in the world. I have no evolutionary purpose. I no longer deserve physical affection. Instead, it is time for me to turn away from sex and towards new pursuits, the classic weird dad hobbies such as puns, learning trivia about bridges and world wars and dreaming about societal collapse¹⁵ and global apocalypse.

SIEGEL: (Reading) It's the last phase you've already gone through, in fact.

HODGMAN: Yes, indeed, yes.

SIEGEL: This book isn't really so much about life where you spend most of it, which is Brooklyn, isn't it? It's about the two country homes you own, one in western Massachusetts, the other in Maine.

HODGMAN: Yes. So I live in Brooklyn, N.Y., but the book follows me as wandering uncomfortably through three wildernesses¹⁶ - the rural hills of western Massachusetts where I spent a lot of my youth and did a lot of my growing up and the painful beaches of coastal Maine where I've been informed by my wife I will eventually accept my death and the metaphoric² haunted forest of middle age that connects those two things.

SIEGEL: I believe it's in Massachusetts where you reflect on the situation of the family's pet dwarf¹⁷ hamster, Flurry...

HODGMAN: Yes.

SIEGEL: ...And Flurry's less-fortunate, undomesticated kinsmen¹⁸ outside the house. It's an interesting moment.

HODGMAN: Well, yeah. So my mom passed away in the year 2000, and suddenly my wife and I had a small house in the country of rural western Massachusetts. And having lived in New York our whole lives, you know, New York trains you to be an adolescent until you die - right? - because you never have to learn to drive.

(LAUGHTER)

HODGMAN: Even if you own your own home, it's an apartment - right? - which is just a glorified¹⁹ dorm room. If something goes wrong in your house, you don't have to fix it. You call some surrogate dad to come and do it for you.

SIEGEL: Call the super, yeah.

HODGMAN: Exactly. And so we grew up a lot in this house, you know, learning things like, you know, if you have a home that is heated by propane, the propane does not arrive by magic. You actually have to call a man to come and bring you the propane. And if you don't call him, he doesn't come. And it was in the home that I confronted one of the great moral paradoxes²⁰ of caring for a beloved pet dwarf hamster at the end of its life cycle. And Robert, I don't know if you've ever had a dwarf hamster, but if you ever did, you know that its life cycle begins to end a week after you bring it home from the pet store...

SIEGEL: (Laughter) I see.

HODGMAN: ...And give it to your young son. That is when it stops eating and starts becoming a ragged²¹, half-filled hacky sack of sad bones.

SIEGEL: (Laughter) Yeah.

HODGMAN: And you're trying to keep this thing alive with some medicine that a con¹⁰ man veterinarian sold you for $500 at the precise moment that through the kitchen door, in the garage, you are literally²² murdering dozens and dozens of field mice a week with traps and poisons. And they're the same animal.

SIEGEL: (Laughter).

HODGMAN: You could take one and look at him next to the other. You would say, what is the difference? Why have I chosen to designate this one with a name, Flurry, as you pointed²³ out? And even Flurry seemed to understand. Flurry was saying to me, that's a lot of cognitive²⁴ dissonance. Just let me die. I'm like, no, Flurry, you're going to make it, pal²⁵. Now, let me go out into the garage and find how many of your cousins' heads I've smashed with traps.

SIEGEL: You write about Maine with great ambivalence²⁶.

HODGMAN: Yes. I named the book "Vacationland," which is of course something of a cruel joke because you would never go swimming in Maine 'cause the water is very cold and made of hate, and it wants to kill you. Maine is a place of rugged²⁷ and harsh beauty, and it reminds you that the universe is large. You are small, and none of it cares whether you are here or not. And as you start to move into the second half of your life, Maine is a place where you - if you're morbidly²⁸ inclined, it has a lot to offer you.

SIEGEL: (Laughter) And do you feel that in Maine, you can - you get a sense of your mortality in Maine, is what you're saying.

HODGMAN: Yeah. It's there to confirm your mortality.

SIEGEL: Now, tell me, John Hodgman, as a - someone in his mustachioed 40s and father of at least one child who's reached adolescence²⁹ - yes?

HODGMAN: Yes, that's true. My wife and I have two human children, one of whom is 15, the other of whom is 12. And not only do I have a moustache now, but I also have a beard. I'm sure your listeners can hear the horror of my beard through their radios. It is so untelegenic; it is anti-radiogenic as well.

SIEGEL: Do you find yourself more content at this stage of your life than during your 20s or 30s?

HODGMAN: That's a very interesting question. I mean, on a gut³⁰ level, it surprises me to say that the answer is yes. I think that we spend our 20s wondering what the future holds. We are worried we may not be talented, skilled, lucky or interesting enough to get there, and so we spend a lot of time telling ourselves stories about how interesting we are, often by buying things that make us feel interesting or borrowing gestures or poses. And then in our 30s, once the 20s have evaporated, we spend a lot of time telling our stories that we're still in our 20s; we're still a fighter; we're still relevant.

Once you're past 40 - and now I'm into my mid-40s - a lot of that anxiety drifts away because you're no longer bothering to try. You have grown the beard that you can grow, metaphorically³¹ speaking. And in my case, it looks awful, but that is who I am. And I no longer worry about what is next to come. I have a lot of advantages because I went on television for a little while. I'm a very - I bill this as the white privilege mortality comedy of John Hodgman because I believe in truth in advertising³².

(LAUGHTER)

HODGMAN: I do...

SIEGEL: Yes.

HODGMAN: I do have a lot of privilege. I check my privilege every day. And at the end of the day when I go back to the privilege check to pick it up again, I hand them the ticket. Sometimes I forget the ticket, and they're like, don't worry about it. We know you. That's how privileged I am.

SIEGEL: John Hodgman, author most recently of "Vacationland: True Stories From Painful Beaches," thanks for talking with us once again.

HODGMAN: It is my pleasure as always. Thank you.

(SOUNDBITE OF SOFI TUKKER SONG, "DRINKEE")

1 memoir   

n.[pl.]回忆录，自传；记事录

参考例句：

• He has just published a memoir in honour of his captain.他刚刚出了一本传记来纪念他的队长。
• In her memoir,the actress wrote about the bittersweet memories of her first love.在那个女演员的自传中，她写到了自己苦乐掺半的初恋。

2 metaphoric   

adj. 使用隐喻的；比喻的；比喻意义的

参考例句：

• It was a metaphoric(al) phrase; we didn't really mean that he has green fingers, only that he is good at gardening. 它是一个比喻的词组；我们并非说他长了绿手指而是说他擅长园艺技能。
• The ubiquitous mouse input device is not metaphoric of anything, but rather is learned idiomatically. 无所不在的鼠标输入设备没有任何隐喻；相反，是习惯用法的学习。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓

3 metaphorical   

a.隐喻的，比喻的

参考例句：

• Here, then, we have a metaphorical substitution on a metonymic axis. 这样，我们在换喻（者翻译为转喻，一种以部分代替整体的修辞方法）上就有了一个隐喻的替代。
• So, in a metaphorical sense, entropy is arrow of time. 所以说，我们可以这样作个比喻：熵像是时间之矢。

4 wilderness   

n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠

参考例句：

• She drove the herd of cattle through the wilderness.她赶着牛群穿过荒野。
• Education in the wilderness is not a matter of monetary means.荒凉地区的教育不是钱财问题。

5 genre   

n.(文学、艺术等的)类型，体裁，风格

参考例句：

• My favorite music genre is blues.我最喜欢的音乐种类是布鲁斯音乐。
• Superficially,this Shakespeare's work seems to fit into the same genre.从表面上看， 莎士比亚的这个剧本似乎属于同一类型。

6 doom   

n.厄运，劫数；v.注定，命定

参考例句：

• The report on our economic situation is full of doom and gloom.这份关于我们经济状况的报告充满了令人绝望和沮丧的调子。
• The dictator met his doom after ten years of rule.独裁者统治了十年终于完蛋了。

7 foretold   

v.预言，预示( foretell的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• She foretold that the man would die soon. 她预言那人快要死了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Must lose one joy, by his life's star foretold. 这样注定：他，为了信守一个盟誓／就非得拿牺牲一个喜悦作代价。 来自英汉 - 翻译样例 - 文学

8 frankly   

adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说

参考例句：

• To speak frankly, I don't like the idea at all.老实说，我一点也不赞成这个主意。
• Frankly speaking, I'm not opposed to reform.坦率地说，我不反对改革。

9 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

10 con   

n.反对的观点，反对者，反对票，肺病；vt.精读，学习，默记；adv.反对地，从反面；adj.欺诈的

参考例句：

• We must be fair and consider the reason pro and con.我们必须公平考虑赞成和反对的理由。
• The motion is adopted non con.因无人投反对票，协议被通过。

11 coastal   

adj.海岸的，沿海的，沿岸的

参考例句：

• The ocean waves are slowly eating away the coastal rocks.大海的波浪慢慢地侵蚀着岸边的岩石。
• This country will fortify the coastal areas.该国将加强沿海地区的防御。

12 weird   

adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的

参考例句：

• From his weird behaviour,he seems a bit of an oddity.从他不寻常的行为看来，他好像有点怪。
• His weird clothes really gas me.他的怪衣裳简直笑死人。

13 evolutionary   

adj.进化的；演化的，演变的；[生]进化论的

参考例句：

• Life has its own evolutionary process.生命有其自身的进化过程。
• These are fascinating questions to be resolved by the evolutionary studies of plants.这些十分吸引人的问题将在研究植物进化过程中得以解决。

14 DNA   

(缩)deoxyribonucleic acid 脱氧核糖核酸

参考例句：

• DNA is stored in the nucleus of a cell.脱氧核糖核酸储存于细胞的细胞核里。
• Gene mutations are alterations in the DNA code.基因突变是指DNA密码的改变。

15 collapse   

vi.累倒；昏倒；倒塌；塌陷

参考例句：

• The country's economy is on the verge of collapse.国家的经济已到了崩溃的边缘。
• The engineer made a complete diagnosis of the bridge's collapse.工程师对桥的倒塌做了一次彻底的调查分析。

16 wildernesses   

荒野( wilderness的名词复数 )； 沙漠； （政治家）在野； 不再当政（或掌权）

参考例句：

• Antarctica is one of the last real wildernesses left on the earth. 南极洲是地球上所剩不多的旷野之一。
• Dartmoor is considered by many to be one of Britain's great nature wildernesses. Dartmoor被很多人认为是英国最大的荒原之一。

17 dwarf   

n.矮子，侏儒，矮小的动植物；vt.使…矮小

参考例句：

• The dwarf's long arms were not proportional to his height.那侏儒的长臂与他的身高不成比例。
• The dwarf shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. 矮子耸耸肩膀，摇摇头。

18 kinsmen   

n.家属，亲属( kinsman的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Kinsmen are less kind than friends. 投亲不如访友。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• One deeply grateful is better than kinsmen or firends. 受恩深处胜亲朋。 来自英汉 - 翻译样例 - 文学

19 glorified   

美其名的，变荣耀的

参考例句：

• The restaurant was no more than a glorified fast-food cafe. 这地方美其名曰餐馆，其实只不过是个快餐店而已。
• The author glorified the life of the peasants. 那个作者赞美了农民的生活。

20 paradoxes   

n.似非而是的隽语，看似矛盾而实际却可能正确的说法( paradox的名词复数 )；用于语言文学中的上述隽语；有矛盾特点的人[事物，情况]

参考例句：

• Contradictions and paradoxes arose in increasing numbers. 矛盾和悖论越来越多。 来自辞典例句
• As far as these paradoxes are concerned, the garden definitely a heterotopia. 就这些吊诡性而言，花园无疑地是个异质空间。 来自互联网

21 ragged   

adj.衣衫褴褛的，粗糙的，刺耳的

参考例句：

• A ragged shout went up from the small crowd.这一小群人发出了刺耳的喊叫。
• Ragged clothing infers poverty.破衣烂衫意味着贫穷。

22 literally   

adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实

参考例句：

• He translated the passage literally.他逐字逐句地翻译这段文字。
• Sometimes she would not sit down till she was literally faint.有时候，她不走到真正要昏厥了，决不肯坐下来。

23 pointed   

adj.尖的，直截了当的

参考例句：

• He gave me a very sharp pointed pencil.他给我一支削得非常尖的铅笔。
• She wished to show Mrs.John Dashwood by this pointed invitation to her brother.她想通过对达茨伍德夫人提出直截了当的邀请向她的哥哥表示出来。

24 cognitive   

adj.认知的，认识的，有感知的

参考例句：

• As children grow older,their cognitive processes become sharper.孩子们越长越大，他们的认知过程变得更为敏锐。
• The cognitive psychologist is like the tinker who wants to know how a clock works.认知心理学者倒很像一个需要通晓钟表如何运转的钟表修理匠。

25 pal   

n.朋友，伙伴，同志；vi.结为友

参考例句：

• He is a pal of mine.他是我的一个朋友。
• Listen,pal,I don't want you talking to my sister any more.听着，小子，我不让你再和我妹妹说话了。

26 ambivalence   

n.矛盾心理

参考例句：

• She viewed her daughter's education with ambivalence.她看待女儿的教育问题态度矛盾。
• She felt a certain ambivalence towards him.她对他的态度有些矛盾。

27 rugged   

adj.高低不平的，粗糙的，粗壮的，强健的

参考例句：

• Football players must be rugged.足球运动员必须健壮。
• The Rocky Mountains have rugged mountains and roads.落基山脉有崇山峻岭和崎岖不平的道路。

28 morbidly   

adv.病态地

参考例句：

• As a result, the mice became morbidly obese and diabetic. 结果，老鼠呈现为病态肥胖和糖尿病。 来自互联网
• He was morbidly fascinated by dead bodies. 他对尸体着魔到近乎病态的程度。 来自互联网

29 adolescence   

n.青春期，青少年

参考例句：

• Adolescence is the process of going from childhood to maturity.青春期是从少年到成年的过渡期。
• The film is about the trials and tribulations of adolescence.这部电影讲述了青春期的麻烦和苦恼。

30 gut   

n.[pl.]胆量；内脏；adj.本能的；vt.取出内脏

参考例句：

• It is not always necessary to gut the fish prior to freezing.冷冻鱼之前并不总是需要先把内脏掏空。
• My immediate gut feeling was to refuse.我本能的直接反应是拒绝。

31 metaphorically   

adv. 用比喻地

参考例句：

• It is context and convention that determine whether a term will be interpreted literally or metaphorically. 对一个词的理解是按字面意思还是隐喻的意思要视乎上下文和习惯。
• Metaphorically it implied a sort of admirable energy. 从比喻来讲，它含有一种令人赞许的能量的意思。

32 advertising   

n.广告业；广告活动 a.广告的；广告业务的

参考例句：

• Can you give me any advice on getting into advertising? 你能指点我如何涉足广告业吗?
• The advertising campaign is aimed primarily at young people. 这个广告宣传运动主要是针对年轻人的。