美国国家公共电台 NPR 'Stay With Me' Is A Novel Of Commitment, Culture And The Struggle To Conceive

 

SCOTT SIMON, HOST:

When a Nigerian woman named Yejide wants to become pregnant¹, she breastfeeds a goat on top of the mountain of jaw² dropping miracles³. Ayobami Adebayo's novel "Stay With Me" begins in the political turmoil⁴ of Nigeria in the 1980s but also with a personal story of a couple who are in love and will do anything to have a child, including trying to find love with others. "Stay With Me" is Ayobami Adebayo's debut⁵ novel. It's been shortlisted for the 2017 Baileys Women's Prize for Fiction. She joins us from Nigeria by Skype. Thank you so much for being with us.

AYOBAMI ADEBAYO: Thank you so much for having me.

SIMON: What made you decide to set this story in the 1980s when, I gather, you were barely⁶ born?

ADEBAYO: I had always been interested in Nigeria's past and still very interested in things that happened in the '80s and the '70s because I think that they were important years for Nigeria. In the '80s, we were under military dictatorship for quite a while. And I think that the way we engage with our country as citizens was shaped in many ways by the events that took place in that time. Unfortunately, they are not things that we discussed very often, you know? So it's a period of time that I've always been interested in because I think that it can help us to understand Nigeria even right now.

SIMON: Yejide and Akin⁷, her husband, love each other. But how does their difficulty in starting a family begin to come between them?

ADEBAYO: This is because they live in a society where having children validates⁸, not just the individual, but the marriage itself such that a relationship that - where marriage is not even involved, maybe people dated each other and they had a child together, would be seen as one that is stronger, lasts longer. It's more important than marital⁹ relationship where there's no child. So they live in that time and in that world. And the family members just feel that they have the right to tell them what to do and to do sometimes really terrible things to them just to make sure that they bend to their will.

SIMON: Well Akin's mother urges them to take a second wife, right?

ADEBAYO: Yes. And that's her own solution because she believes that this is her first son and you must have children. So you might as well have those children with another wife. She's not particular about his first marriage surviving as long as he has children.

SIMON: We should underscore this was and is, as I gather, perfectly¹⁰ legal in most of Nigeria. But it's not something modern couples are doing, is it?

ADEBAYO: No, it's no longer fashionable as it used to be. It's not, and it's legal. It's something that people could do if they wanted. But it's not as fashionable as it once was. And I think even in the '80s, many of the younger people at that time were sort of leaving polygamy behind. But I think that many things about the way the marital relationship was setup then still carry over such that even though a man might not take a second wife, many men still feel that it's within their rights to have a mistress¹¹. And the wife is supposed to be grateful that, you know, they're not taking a second wife because they could very well do that.

SIMON: Without relating the story, which - we should say that Yejide is able to have children but that comes with its own sadness, doesn't it?

ADEBAYO: Yes. It comes at a cost. And I think that that's the story that is sold to many women. And it's not just women. I think that when we really want something, we sometimes feel that as soon as I have this, my life's going to be perfect. And - but it doesn't always turn out that way, does it? So for her, she has this idea that that is going to be the end of all our troubles. But that itself comes at a cost.

SIMON: Yeah. We won't mention what that cost is. But let's just say that it's hard for parents even to - and not just parents - to even read about. If you wanted to bring Yejide's story through to our times, what's changed in Nigeria or what hasn't?

SIMON: Well, I wish I could say that a lot has changed. I think that now, she might be more willing to consider leaving the marriage much earlier. I mean, there would still be some stigma¹². That's the truth. But it's not as taboo¹³ as it was back then, you know? But honestly, when it comes to the kind of pressure she faces for not having a child, that hasn't changed very much, unfortunately.

SIMON: Ayobami Adebayo, her debut novel "Stay With Me." Thank you so much for being with us.

ADEBAYO: Thank you so very much for having me.

1 pregnant   

adj.怀孕的，怀胎的

参考例句：

• She is a pregnant woman.她是一名孕妇。
• She is pregnant with her first child.她怀了第一胎。

2 jaw   

n.颚，颌，说教，流言蜚语；v.喋喋不休，教训

参考例句：

• He delivered a right hook to his opponent's jaw.他给了对方下巴一记右钩拳。
• A strong square jaw is a sign of firm character.强健的方下巴是刚毅性格的标志。

3 miracles   

n.奇迹( miracle的名词复数 )；奇事；令人惊奇的事；非凡的事

参考例句：

• He can do miracles with a few kitchen leftovers. 他能用厨房里几样剩饭做出一顿美餐。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• This tonic will work miracles for your depression. 这种补药对治疗你的忧郁症十分有效。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 turmoil   

n.骚乱，混乱，动乱

参考例句：

• His mind was in such a turmoil that he couldn't get to sleep.内心的纷扰使他无法入睡。
• The robbery put the village in a turmoil.抢劫使全村陷入混乱。

5 debut   

n.首次演出，初次露面

参考例句：

• That same year he made his Broadway debut, playing a suave radio journalist.在那同一年里，他初次在百老汇登台，扮演一个温文而雅的电台记者。
• The actress made her debut in the new comedy.这位演员在那出新喜剧中首次登台演出。

6 barely   

adv.仅仅，几乎没有，几乎不

参考例句：

• The male bird is barely distinguishable from the female.雄鸟和雌鸟几乎无法辨别。
• He took barely enough money to keep the children in bread.他赚很少的钱仅够孩子们勉强糊口。

7 akin   

adj.同族的，类似的

参考例句：

• She painted flowers and birds pictures akin to those of earlier feminine painters.她画一些同早期女画家类似的花鸟画。
• Listening to his life story is akin to reading a good adventure novel.听他的人生故事犹如阅读一本精彩的冒险小说。

8 validates   

v.证实( validate的第三人称单数 )；确证；使生效；使有法律效力

参考例句：

• Other research validates that when it comes to chocolate, type does matter. 其他的研究也证实了不同种类的巧克力确实功效不同。 来自互联网
• Trouble shoots equipment, review and validates data and complete reports. 管理错误描述设备，审查并确认试验数据，完成试验报告。 来自互联网

9 marital   

adj.婚姻的，夫妻的

参考例句：

• Her son had no marital problems.她的儿子没有婚姻问题。
• I regret getting involved with my daughter's marital problems;all its done is to bring trouble about my ears.我后悔干涉我女儿的婚姻问题, 现在我所做的一切将给我带来无穷的烦恼。

10 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

11 mistress   

n.（文学用语）使男子为之倾倒的女人，女主人

参考例句：

• Does his wife know he has a mistress?他的妻子知道他有一个情妇吗？
• Is your mistress at home?你家女主人在家吗？

12 stigma   

n.耻辱，污名；(花的)柱头

参考例句：

• Being an unmarried mother used to carry a social stigma.做未婚母亲在社会上曾是不光彩的事。
• The stigma of losing weighed heavily on the team.失败的耻辱让整个队伍压力沉重。

13 taboo   

n.禁忌，禁止接近，禁止使用；adj.禁忌的；v.禁忌，禁制，禁止

参考例句：

• The rude words are taboo in ordinary conversation.这些粗野的字眼在日常谈话中是禁忌的。
• Is there a taboo against sex before marriage in your society?在你们的社会里，婚前的性行为犯禁吗？