美国国家公共电台 NPR A Sister Shares 'Horrible And Wonderful' Memories Of Her Brother's Life And Death

A Sister Shares 'Horrible And Wonderful' Memories Of Her Brother's Life And Death

SCOTT SIMON, HOST:

Stephanie Wittels Wachs got a phone call from her loving and accomplished¹ brother just three days before her wedding, in which he shared some surprising news.

STEPHANIE WITTELS WACHS: He told me he was a drug addict².

SIMON: Harris Wittels died two years later of an overdose. He was a hilarious³ and respected Hollywood comic writer, who had become co-executive producer of NBC's "Parks And Recreation." By the time he was 30, he was working on award-winning shows like "Master Of None."

His sister has written a memoir⁴ of his life, her loss, and the lessons to be shared, "Everything Is Horrible And Wonderful: A Tragicomic Memoir Of Genius, Heroine, Love, And Loss." Stephanie Wittels Wachs, a writer, theater artist, and educator in Houston, joins us from NPR West. Thanks so much for being with us.

WACHS: Thank you for having me.

SIMON: This is a book that is written to your brother. Why phrase it that way?

WACHS: You know, it poured out of me in a sort of way that I can only describe as exorcising demons⁵. I mean, I just was consumed with every negative emotion you could possibly be consumed with. It was a terrible place to be, and I desperately⁶ wanted to talk to him. I wanted to ask him questions, and I wanted to yell at him for doing this. And I wanted to tell him how sad I was. It came out of me that way and was therapeutic⁷ in a way.

SIMON: Recognizing there's no real answer to this, what happened to your brother? How did it happen?

WACHS: You know, I think that's part of why I wrote the book. In the book, I call it a manic investigative phase. After something terribly senseless happens, the people who are left here are tasked with making sense of it.

I think he had a propensity⁸ for excess. He was pleasure-driven as a person. He wanted to have everything in the buffet⁹ line, not just one thing. And I also think that he had a mind that never stopped working, and he was constantly crafting jokes and making observations of the world and - you know, as a comic does. And I think that was probably exhausting in a way as well, and he needed to relax and shut down. And so I think the combination of those is why we're here.

SIMON: He tried - it was three different rehab programs?

WACHS: Yes.

SIMON: And went into it with high expectations and even a feeling of maybe this one will make a difference. Given your family's experience, why don't so many rehab programs work?

WACHS: I think a 30-day program can turn into another sort of high. It's the high of feeling great again. You feel back to yourself. You feel in your body. You feel in your mind. You feel in control again, and you think, OK, I can do this just one more time. You know, I'm in a good place. I'll just use one more time, and it'll be OK. And Harris's - the people who ran one of the rehabs who we met with after he died explained to us that that's often what kills addicts¹⁰, is the just-one-more-time mentality¹¹.

SIMON: Your brother was just 30 and yet, he had made, at the age of 30, detailed¹² provisions about his passing.

WACHS: Yeah.

SIMON: Was he just being meticulous¹³, or was there a part of him that kind of knew this could always happen?

WACHS: He's not a meticulous person, no. That is not what it was. He was a mess. He was so disorganized as a human being. He didn't eat with silverware. I mean, he was, you know, very much 10 years old in a lot of ways.

So I have to - I have to assume that he understood that he was playing with fire. He knew that he was taking a risk and that he was doing something that could kill him.

SIMON: Let me ask you about a line in the book. Is sister a noun or a verb? Wonder how you feel about that?

WACHS: I can tell you that since he's died, I have just really done nothing but think about and process and write about and honor my brother. I've been very verb-like since he died. I guess, I think it's both. You know, I think I'll always be his sister.

SIMON: You really do fall in love with your family in this book.

WACHS: Thank you.

SIMON: How are your mother and father?

WACHS: Well, when a child dies, it does a number on the family. Parents don't expect to bury their children. I think for our family, because we had this basis of laughter and fun and, you know, we were a strange family who likes each other genuinely, it's been really difficult.

A lot of our attention is now on grief. My mom is very active in her grief. She is speaking at high schools. She's created a support group in Houston for other families who have lost family members to drug overdoses.

My dad is 100 percent on the opposite side of the spectrum¹⁴. He is very sort of solitary¹⁵ in his grief, and I think it's hard - I think it's harder for him. I think when you are not able to talk about it and express how it feels, it eats you up. And he was recently diagnosed with Parkinson's, too, so we have been dealing¹⁶ with that as a family. You know, we - it's like every family. You keep going, you know.

SIMON: As the book ends, you mention that you're trying to add to your family.

WACHS: Yeah I'm 6 1/2 months pregnant right now with a boy.

SIMON: Oh, my word, I think I know the name.

WACHS: Well, in Judaism, we're not supposed to say it before they're born, so we'll keep it on the down-low for now.

SIMON: Stephanie Wittels Wachs, her book, "Everything Is Horrible And Wonderful: A Tragicomic Memoir Of Genius, Heroine, Love, And Loss." Thanks so much for being with us.

WACHS: Thank you for having me.

1 accomplished   

adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的

参考例句：

• Thanks to your help,we accomplished the task ahead of schedule.亏得你们帮忙,我们才提前完成了任务。
• Removal of excess heat is accomplished by means of a radiator.通过散热器完成多余热量的排出。

2 addict   

v.使沉溺；使上瘾；n.沉溺于不良嗜好的人

参考例句：

• He became gambling addict,and lost all his possessions.他习染上了赌博，最终输掉了全部家产。
• He assisted a drug addict to escape from drug but failed firstly.一开始他帮助一个吸毒者戒毒但失败了。

3 hilarious   

adj.充满笑声的，欢闹的；[反]depressed

参考例句：

• The party got quite hilarious after they brought more wine.在他们又拿来更多的酒之后，派对变得更加热闹起来。
• We stop laughing because the show was so hilarious.我们笑个不停，因为那个节目太搞笑了。

4 memoir   

n.[pl.]回忆录，自传；记事录

参考例句：

• He has just published a memoir in honour of his captain.他刚刚出了一本传记来纪念他的队长。
• In her memoir,the actress wrote about the bittersweet memories of her first love.在那个女演员的自传中，她写到了自己苦乐掺半的初恋。

5 demons   

n.恶人( demon的名词复数 )；恶魔；精力过人的人；邪念

参考例句：

• demons torturing the sinners in Hell 地狱里折磨罪人的魔鬼
• He is plagued by demons which go back to his traumatic childhood. 他为心魔所困扰，那可追溯至他饱受创伤的童年。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 desperately   

adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地

参考例句：

• He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
• He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。

7 therapeutic   

adj.治疗的，起治疗作用的；对身心健康有益的

参考例句：

• Therapeutic measures were selected to fit the patient.选择治疗措施以适应病人的需要。
• When I was sad,music had a therapeutic effect.我悲伤的时候，音乐有治疗效力。

8 propensity   

n.倾向；习性

参考例句：

• He has a propensity for drinking too much alcohol.他有酗酒的倾向。
• She hasn't reckoned on his propensity for violence.她不曾料到他有暴力倾向。

9 buffet   

n.自助餐；饮食柜台；餐台

参考例句：

• Are you having a sit-down meal or a buffet at the wedding?你想在婚礼中摆桌宴还是搞自助餐？
• Could you tell me what specialties you have for the buffet?你能告诉我你们的自助餐有什么特色菜吗？

10 addicts   

有…瘾的人( addict的名词复数 )； 入迷的人

参考例句：

• a unit for rehabilitating drug addicts 帮助吸毒者恢复正常生活的机构
• There is counseling to help Internet addicts?even online. 有咨询机构帮助网络沉迷者。 来自超越目标英语 第3册

11 mentality   

n.心理，思想，脑力

参考例句：

• He has many years'experience of the criminal mentality.他研究犯罪心理有多年经验。
• Running a business requires a very different mentality from being a salaried employee.经营企业所要求具备的心态和上班族的心态截然不同。

12 detailed   

adj.详细的，详尽的，极注意细节的，完全的

参考例句：

• He had made a detailed study of the terrain.他对地形作了缜密的研究。
• A detailed list of our publications is available on request.我们的出版物有一份详细的目录备索。

13 meticulous   

adj.极其仔细的，一丝不苟的

参考例句：

• We'll have to handle the matter with meticulous care.这事一点不能含糊。
• She is meticulous in her presentation of facts.她介绍事实十分详细。

14 spectrum   

n.谱，光谱，频谱；范围，幅度，系列

参考例句：

• This is a kind of atomic spectrum.这是一种原子光谱。
• We have known much of the constitution of the solar spectrum.关于太阳光谱的构成，我们已了解不少。

15 solitary   

adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士

参考例句：

• I am rather fond of a solitary stroll in the country.我颇喜欢在乡间独自徜徉。
• The castle rises in solitary splendour on the fringe of the desert.这座城堡巍然耸立在沙漠的边际，显得十分壮美。

16 dealing   

n.经商方法，待人态度

参考例句：

• This store has an excellent reputation for fair dealing.该商店因买卖公道而享有极高的声誉。
• His fair dealing earned our confidence.他的诚实的行为获得我们的信任。