2-22

 

22.

I was given a month off. I spent the first part of it with mates. They heard I was home, rang me up,asked me out for a drink.

OK, but just one.

A place called the Cat and Custard Pot. Me: sitting in a dark corner, nursing a gin and tonic¹.

Them: laughing and chatting and making all sorts of plans for trips and projects and holidays.

Everyone seemed so loud. Had they always been so loud?

They all said I seemed quiet. Yeah, I said, yeah, I guess so.

How come?

No reason.

I just felt like being quiet.

I felt out of place, a bit distant. At times I felt sort of panicky. At other times I felt angry. Doyou folks know what’s happening on the other side of the world right now?

After a day or two I rang Chels, asked to see her. Begged. She was in Cape² Town.

She invited me to come.

Yes, I thought. That’s what I need right now. A day or two with Chels and her folks.

After, she and I ran off to Botswana, met up with the gang. We started at Teej and Mike’shouse. Big hugs and kisses at the door; they’d been worried sick about me. Then they fed me, andMike kept handing me drinks, and I was in the place I loved most, under the sky I loved most, sohappy that at one point I wondered if I might not have tears in my eyes.

A day or two later Chels and I drifted upriver on a rented houseboat. The Kubu Queen. Wecooked simple meals, slept on the upper deck of the boat, under the stars. Gazing at Orion’s Belt,the Little Dipper, I’d try to decompress, but it was hard. The press got wind of our trip, and theywere papping us constantly, every time the boat neared the shore.

After a week or so we went back to Maun, ate a farewell dinner with Teej and Mike. Everyoneturned in early, but I sat up with Teej, told her a bit about the war. Just a bit. It was the first timeI’d spoken of it since arriving home.

Willy and Pa had asked. But they hadn’t asked the way Teej asked.

Nor had Chelsy. Did she tiptoe around the subject because she still disliked my going? Orbecause she knew it would be hard for me to talk about it? I wasn’t sure, and I felt that she wasn’tsure, that neither of us was sure about anything.

Teej and I talked about that too.

She likes me, I said. Loves me, I guess. But she doesn’t like the baggage that comes with me,doesn’t like everything that comes with being royal, the press and so forth³, and none of that is evergoing away. So what hope is there?

Teej asked point-blank if I could see myself married to Chels.

I tried to explain. I cherished⁴ Chels’s carefree and authentic⁵ spirit. She never worried aboutwhat other people thought. She wore short skirts and high boots, danced with abandon, drank asmuch tequila as I did, and I cherished all those things about her…but I couldn’t help worryinghow Granny might feel about them. Or the British public. And the last thing I wanted was forChels to change to accommodate⁶ them.

I wanted so badly to be a husband, a father…but I just wasn’t sure. It takes a certain kind ofperson to withstand the scrutiny⁷, Teej, and I don’t know if Chels can handle it. I don’t know that Iwant to ask her to handle it.

 

1 tonic   

n./adj.滋补品，补药，强身的，健体的

参考例句：

• It will be marketed as a tonic for the elderly.这将作为老年人滋补品在市场上销售。
• Sea air is Nature's best tonic for mind and body.海上的空气是大自然赋予的对人们身心的最佳补品。

2 cape   

n.海角，岬；披肩，短披风

参考例句：

• I long for a trip to the Cape of Good Hope.我渴望到好望角去旅行。
• She was wearing a cape over her dress.她在外套上披着一件披肩。

3 forth   

adv.向前；向外，往外

参考例句：

• The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
• He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。

4 cherished   

v.珍爱( cherish的过去式和过去分词 )；怀有；爱护；抚育

参考例句：

• Children need to be cherished. 儿童需要无微不至的爱护。
• She cherished a deep resentment under the rose towards her employer. 她暗中对她的雇主怀恨在心。 来自《简明英汉词典》

5 authentic   

a.真的，真正的；可靠的，可信的，有根据的

参考例句：

• This is an authentic news report. We can depend on it. 这是篇可靠的新闻报道, 我们相信它。
• Autumn is also the authentic season of renewal. 秋天才是真正的除旧布新的季节。

6 accommodate   

vt.容纳，向...提供住处，使适应，顺应

参考例句：

• You should soon accommodate yourself to the new circumstance.你应尽快适应新环境。
• Are there enough shelves to accommodate all our books?有足够的书架容纳我们所有的书吗？

7 scrutiny   

n.详细检查，仔细观察

参考例句：

• His work looks all right,but it will not bear scrutiny.他的工作似乎很好，但是经不起仔细检查。
• Few wives in their forties can weather such a scrutiny.很少年过四十的妻子经得起这么仔细的观察。