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67.

Meg and I were on the phone with Elton John and his husband, David, and we confessed: We need

help.

We’re sort of losing it here, guys.

Come to us, Elton said.

By which he meant their home in France.

Summer 2019.

So we did. For a few days we sat on their terrace and soaked up their sunshine. We spent long

healing moments gazing out at the azure¹ sea, and it felt decadent², not just because of the luxurious³

setting. Freedom of any kind, in any measure, had come to feel like scandalous luxury. To be out

of the fishbowl for even an afternoon felt like day release from prison.

One afternoon we took a scooter ride with David, around the local bay, down the coastal⁴ road.

I was driving, Meg was on the back, and she threw out her arms and shouted for joy as we zoomed⁵

through little towns, smelt⁶ people’s dinners from open windows, waved to children playing in their

gardens. They all waved back and smiled. They didn’t know us.

The best part of the visit was watching Elton and David and their two boys fall in love with

Archie. Often I’d catch Elton studying Archie’s face and I knew what he was thinking: Mummy. I

knew because it happened so often to me as well. Time and again I’d see an expression cross

Archie’s face and it would bring me up short. I nearly said so to Elton, how much I wished my

mother could hold her grandson, how often it happened that, while hugging Archie, I felt her—or

wanted to. Every hug tinged⁷ with nostalgia⁸; every tuck-in touched with grief.

Does anything bring you face-to-face with the past like parenthood?

On the last night we were all experiencing that familiar end-of-holiday malaise: Why can’t it

be like this forever? We were drifting from the terrace to the pool, and back again, Elton offering

cocktails⁹, David and I chatting about the news. And the sorry state of the press. And what it meant

for the state of Britain.

We got onto books. David mentioned Elton’s memoir¹⁰, at which he’d been toiling¹¹ for years. It

was finally done, and Elton was mighty¹² proud of it, and the publication date was drawing near.

Bravo, Elton!

Elton mentioned that it was going to be serialized.

Is that so?

Yes. Daily Mail.

He saw my face. He quickly looked away.

Elton, how in the absolute—?

I want people to read it!

But, Elton—? The very people who’ve made your life miserable¹³?

Exactly. Who better to excerpt¹⁴ it? Where better than the very newspaper that’s been so

poisonous to me my whole life?

Who better? I just…I don’t understand.

It was a warm night, so I’d already been sweating. But now beads¹⁵ were dripping off my

forehead. I reminded him of the specific lies the Mail had famously printed about him. Hell—he’d

sued them, just over a decade earlier, after they claimed he forbade people at a charity event from

speaking to him.

They’d ultimately written him a check for a hundred thousand pounds.

I reminded him that he’d stirringly said in one interview: “They can say I’m a fat old c—.

They can say I’m an untalented bastard¹⁶. They can call me a poof. But they mustn’t lie about me.”

He didn’t have an answer.

But I didn’t push it.

I loved him. I’ll always love him.

And I also didn’t want to spoil the holiday.

1 azure   

adj.天蓝色的，蔚蓝色的

参考例句：

• His eyes are azure.他的眼睛是天蓝色的。
• The sun shone out of a clear azure sky.清朗蔚蓝的天空中阳光明媚。

2 decadent   

adj.颓废的，衰落的，堕落的

参考例句：

• Don't let decadent ideas eat into yourselves.别让颓废的思想侵蚀你们。
• This song was once banned, because it was regarded as decadent.这首歌曾经被认定为是靡靡之音而被禁止播放。

3 luxurious   

adj.精美而昂贵的；豪华的

参考例句：

• This is a luxurious car complete with air conditioning and telephone.这是一辆附有空调设备和电话的豪华轿车。
• The rich man lives in luxurious surroundings.这位富人生活在奢侈的环境中。

4 coastal   

adj.海岸的，沿海的，沿岸的

参考例句：

• The ocean waves are slowly eating away the coastal rocks.大海的波浪慢慢地侵蚀着岸边的岩石。
• This country will fortify the coastal areas.该国将加强沿海地区的防御。

5 zoomed   

v.（飞机、汽车等）急速移动( zoom的过去式 )；（价格、费用等）急升，猛涨

参考例句：

• Traffic zoomed past us. 车辆从我们身边疾驰而过。
• Cars zoomed helter-skelter, honking belligerently. 大街上来往车辆穿梭不停，喇叭声刺耳。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 smelt   

v.熔解，熔炼；n.银白鱼，胡瓜鱼

参考例句：

• Tin is a comparatively easy metal to smelt.锡是比较容易熔化的金属。
• Darby was looking for a way to improve iron when he hit upon the idea of smelting it with coke instead of charcoal.达比一直在寻找改善铁质的方法，他猛然想到可以不用木炭熔炼，而改用焦炭。

7 tinged   

v.（使）发丁丁声( ting的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• memories tinged with sadness 略带悲伤的往事
• white petals tinged with blue 略带蓝色的白花瓣

8 nostalgia   

n.怀乡病，留恋过去，怀旧

参考例句：

• He might be influenced by nostalgia for his happy youth.也许是对年轻时幸福时光的怀恋影响了他。
• I was filled with nostalgia by hearing my favourite old song.我听到这首喜爱的旧歌，心中充满了怀旧之情。

9 cocktails   

n.鸡尾酒( cocktail的名词复数 )；餐前开胃菜；混合物

参考例句：

• Come about 4 o'clock. We'll have cocktails and grill steaks. 请四点钟左右来，我们喝鸡尾酒，吃烤牛排。 来自辞典例句
• Cocktails were a nasty American habit. 喝鸡尾酒是讨厌的美国习惯。 来自辞典例句

10 memoir   

n.[pl.]回忆录，自传；记事录

参考例句：

• He has just published a memoir in honour of his captain.他刚刚出了一本传记来纪念他的队长。
• In her memoir,the actress wrote about the bittersweet memories of her first love.在那个女演员的自传中，她写到了自己苦乐掺半的初恋。

11 toiling   

长时间或辛苦地工作( toil的现在分词 )； 艰难缓慢地移动，跋涉

参考例句：

• The fiery orator contrasted the idle rich with the toiling working classes. 这位激昂的演说家把无所事事的富人同终日辛劳的工人阶级进行了对比。
• She felt like a beetle toiling in the dust. She was filled with repulsion. 她觉得自己像只甲虫在地里挣扎，心中涌满愤恨。

12 mighty   

adj.强有力的；巨大的

参考例句：

• A mighty force was about to break loose.一股巨大的力量即将迸发而出。
• The mighty iceberg came into view.巨大的冰山出现在眼前。

13 miserable   

adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的

参考例句：

• It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他，这是可耻的。
• Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。

14 excerpt   

n.摘录，选录，节录

参考例句：

• This is an excerpt from a novel.这是一部小说的摘录。
• Can you excerpt something from the newspaper? 你能从报纸上选录些东西吗？

15 beads   

n.（空心）小珠子( bead的名词复数 )；水珠；珠子项链

参考例句：

• a necklace of wooden beads 一条木珠项链
• Beads of perspiration stood out on his forehead. 他的前额上挂着汗珠。

16 bastard   

n.坏蛋，混蛋；私生子

参考例句：

• He was never concerned about being born a bastard.他从不介意自己是私生子。
• There was supposed to be no way to get at the bastard.据说没有办法买通那个混蛋。