原版英文故事与诗歌：Three jokes

 　　The chicken and the frog

 

　　One morning a chicken walked into a library.

 

　　It went up to the desk and said "Book! Book!"

 

　　The librarian gave the chicken two books, and it left.

 

　　Half an hour later the chicken returned.

 

　　Once more it approached the desk and said "Book! Book!"

 

　　This time the curious librarian followed the chicken.

 

　　She followed it through the streets to the park.

 

　　It went into the park and down to the lake.

 

　　It gave the books to a big fat frog.

 

　　The frog opened a book and looked at it.

 

　　Then it said "Read it!" and threw the book into the water.

 

　　The firing squad¹

 

　　Two men were travelling together in a foreign country.

 

　　One night they heard gun-shots and lots of shouting.

 

　　Next morning they were told that a revolution had broken out.

 

　　They were arrested and accused of being spies.

 

　　They were sentenced to death by firing squad.

 

　　The first man faced the guns …

 

　　“Ready! Aim! …”

 

　　“Earthquake!” he yelled², and the gunmen panicked.

 

　　In the confusion³ he made his escape.

 

　　The second man faced the guns …

 

　　“Ready! Aim! …”

 

　　"Ah … Fire!” he yelled!

 

　　The parrot

 

　　A man went into a pet shop one day.

 

　　“I’d like a parrot that talks”, he said.

 

　　“I’m sorry sir, but you have to teach your parrot to speak.”

 

　　So he chose a parrot and took it home with him.

 

　　Two weeks later he returned to the pet shop.

 

　　“My parrot still doesn’t speak”, he said.

 

　　“Ah, that's a shame. Buy this mirror. He’ll look at himself, and talk.”

 

　　The man bought the mirror and went away.

 

　　Two weeks later he returned a final time.

 

　　“My parrot is dead”, he said.

 

　　“I’m sorry, sir – but tell me, before he died, did he say anything?”

 

　　“Yes he did. But only one word.”

 

　　“Really? Which word was that?”

 

　　“Foooooooood!”

1 squad   

n.班，小队，小团体；vt.把…编成班或小组

参考例句：

• The squad leader ordered the men to mark time.班长命令战士们原地踏步。
• A squad is the smallest unit in an army.班是军队的最小构成单位。

2 yelled   

v.叫喊，号叫，叫着说( yell的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He yelled at the other driver. 他冲着另一位司机大叫。
• The lost man yelled, hoping someone in the woods would hear him. 迷路的人大声喊着，希望林子里的人会听见。 来自《简明英汉词典》

3 confusion   

n.困惑，迷乱，混淆，混乱，骚乱

参考例句：

• His answers to my questions have only added to my confusion.他对我的问题的回答只是使我更加困惑不解。
• His unexpected arrival threw us into total confusion.他的突然来访使我们完全不知所措。