【荆棘鸟】第五章 10

"啊！亲爱的基督啊！"狂刀像旋风一样离开了他，他弯下身子，浑身颤抖，用手拼命地抠自己的嘴，好像要把说了不该说的话的舌头扯出来。"我不是这个意思！我不是这个意思！找不是这个意思！"

　　帕迪的话刚一出口，拉尔夫就放开了梅吉，紧紧地抓住了弗兰克。他把弗兰克的右臂扭到背后，用左臂绕住弗兰克的脖子，勒住他。拉尔夫身强力壮。紧紧地夹住弗兰克--使他无力反抗。弗兰克想挣开身子，但他的反抗失败了；他摇摇头，表示屈服。梅吉扑在地上，跪在那里哭泣着；她的眼光无可奈何地从哥哥身上移到父亲身上。她苦苦的哀求着，她不知道出了什么事，但她明白，这件事意味着她再也不能同时保住他们两人了。

　　"你就是这个意思，"弗兰克嘶哑地说道，"我要是早明白就好了！我要是早明白就好了，"他吃力地把头转向了拉尔夫神父，"神父，放开我吧，我不会碰他的，上帝保佑，我不会碰他的。"

　　"上帝保佑你？上帝会让你的灵魂烂掉的！让你们俩的灵魂都烂掉！要是你们毁了这孩子，我就把你们宰了！"神父怒吼着，现在他是唯一发怒的人了，"你们知道吗？我是怕我不在你们俩会互相残杀，才把她留在这儿的，结果却让她听到了这番话！我真该让你们互相残杀，你们这两个卑鄙、自私的白痴！"

　　"好吧，我要走了，"弗兰克用奇怪的、无力的声音说道，"我要去参加吉米的拳击班，我不会再回来了。"

　　"你一定得回来，"帕迪喃喃说道。"我怎么对你妈说呢？对她来说，你比我们所有人加起来还重要，她决不会宽恕我的。"

　　"告诉她，我去参加吉米的拳击班了，因为我想出人头地。这是实话。"

　　弗兰克异样的黑眼睛闪着嘲讽的光芒。这眼睛还在神父初次见到时就使他感到惊奇，灰眼睛的菲和蓝眼睛的帕迪怎么能生出黑眼睛的儿子？拉尔夫懂得孟德尔①定律；即使菲的灰眼睛也不可能造成这种现象。

　　①孟德尔，1882-1884年，奥地利生物学家、遗传学家。--译注

　　弗兰克拾起帽子和外套。"噢，这是实话！我早就该明白的你没有妈妈在一间房子里弹钢琴的回忆！这表明你是在我后边得到她的，她先属于我。"他哑然而笑，

 

"Oh, dear Jesus!" His rage quit him like a howling wind, he sagged¹ and shriveled and his hands plucked at his mouth as if to tear out the tongue which had uttered the unutterable. "I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it! 1 didn't mean it!" The moment the words were out Father Ralph let go of Meggie and grabbed Frank. He had Frank's right arm twisted behind him, his own left arm around Frank's neck, throttling² him. And he was strong, the grip paralyzing; Frank fought to be free of him, then suddenly his resistance flagged and he shook his head in submission³. Meggie had fallen to the floor and knelt there, weeping, her eyes going from her brother to her father in helpless, beseeching⁴ agony. She didn't understand what had happened, but she knew it meant she couldn't keep them both.

"You meant it," Frank croaked⁵. "I must always have known it! I must always have known it." He tried to turn his head to Father Ralph. "Let me go, Father. I won't touch him; so help me God I won't."

"So help you God? God rot your souls, both of you! If you've ruined the child I'll kill you!" the priest roared, the only one angry now. "Do you realize I had to keep her here to listen to this, for fear if I took her away you'd kill each other while I was gone? I ought to have let you do it, you miserable⁶, self-centered cretins!"

"It's all right, I'm going," Frank said in a strange, empty voice. "I'm going to join Jimmy Sharman's troupe⁷, and I won't be back."

"You've got to come back!" Paddy whispered. "What can I tell your mother? You mean more to her than the rest of us put together. She'll never forgive me!"

"Tell her I went to join Jimmy Sharman because I want to be someone. It's the truth."

"What I said-it wasn't true, Frank."

Frank's alien black eyes flashed scornfully, the eyes the priest had wondered at the first time he saw them; what were grey-eyed Fee and blue-eyed Paddy doing with a black-eyed son? Father Ralph knew his Mendelian laws, and didn't think even Fee's greyness made it possible. Frank picked up his hat and coat. "Oh, it was true! I must always have known it. The memories of Mum playing her spinet⁸ in a room you could never have owned! The feeling you hadn't always been there, that you came after me. That she was mine first." He laughed soundlessly. 

1 sagged   

下垂的

参考例句：

• The black reticule sagged under the weight of shapeless objects. 黑色的拎包由于装了各种形状的东西而中间下陷。
• He sagged wearily back in his chair. 他疲倦地瘫坐到椅子上。

2 throttling   

v.扼杀( throttle的现在分词 )；勒死；使窒息；压制

参考例句：

• This fight scarf is throttling me. 这条束得紧紧的围巾快要把我窒息死了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The latter may be used with bypass or throttling valves in the tower water pipework circuit. 近来，可采用在冷却塔的水管系统中设置旁通阀或节流阀。 来自辞典例句

3 submission   

n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出

参考例句：

• The defeated general showed his submission by giving up his sword.战败将军缴剑表示投降。
• No enemy can frighten us into submission.任何敌人的恐吓都不能使我们屈服。

4 beseeching   

adj.恳求似的v.恳求，乞求（某事物）( beseech的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• She clung to her father, beseeching him for consent. 她紧紧挨着父亲，恳求他答应。 来自辞典例句
• He casts a beseeching glance at his son. 他用恳求的眼光望着儿子。 来自辞典例句

5 croaked   

v.呱呱地叫( croak的过去式和过去分词 )；用粗的声音说

参考例句：

• The crow croaked disaster. 乌鸦呱呱叫预报灾难。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• 'she has a fine head for it," croaked Jacques Three. “她有一个漂亮的脑袋跟着去呢，”雅克三号低沉地说。 来自英汉文学 - 双城记

6 miserable   

adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的

参考例句：

• It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他，这是可耻的。
• Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。

7 troupe   

n.剧团，戏班；杂技团；马戏团

参考例句：

• The art troupe is always on the move in frontier guards.文工团常年在边防部队流动。
• The troupe produced a new play last night.剧团昨晚上演了一部新剧。

8 spinet   

n.小型立式钢琴

参考例句：

• One afternoon,when I was better,I played the spinet.有天下午，我好了一点时，便弹奏钢琴。
• The spinet was too big for me to play.钢琴太大了不适合我弹。