【荆棘鸟】第五章 13

她把菲的事给我透露了一些，但没说孩子的父亲是谁，我也懒得问。把正她要我答应对菲好--她知道，她一死，他们就会把菲从那地方赶走，于是，她建议詹姆斯为她孙女找个丈夫。我很可怜那老家伙；她太喜欢菲啦。

　　"神父，你相信吗？我第一次接近菲并向她打招呼，就是我娶她的那天。"

　　"哦，我相信。"教士摒着呼吸说道。他望着杯中的酒，然后一饮而尽，又伸手去拿酒瓶，给他们两人各斟一杯。"因此、你娶了一个地位比你高得多的贵妇，帕迪。"

　　"是的。起初，我怕她怕得要死。那时候她太漂亮了，神父，所以……我都傻眼了。你明白我的意思吗？好象那不是她，好象这事是发生在别人的身上。"

　　"她现在仍然很美，帕迪。"拉尔夫神父温和地说道。"从梅吉的身上我能看出她上世纪以前的样子。"

　　"对她来说日子可不轻松，神父，可我不知道我还做些什么别的。至少，她和我在一起是安全的，没受过虐待。一直过了两年我才有勇气--呃，成为她真正的丈夫。我不得不教她做饭、拖地板、洗熨衣服。她不知道该怎么做。"

　　"神父，我们结婚这许多年来，她既不抱怨，也不笑不哭。只有在我们同床共枕时，她才显得有点儿情绪，但她从来不张口。我希望她说话，但又不想让她说，因为我一直在想，要是她说的话，一定是叫那人的名字。哦，我并不是说她不喜欢我或我们的孩子。但我太爱她了，不过我似乎觉得她一直没有这种那种感情，除了对弗兰克。我一直都明白，我们加在一起也赶不上她对弗兰克的爱，她一定爱他的父亲。可我一点儿也不了解那男人：他是谁？为什么也不能嫁他？"

　　拉尔夫神父低头望着自己的双手，眨动着眼睛。"哦，帕迪，真是活受罪啊！谢天谢地，幸亏我没勇气去沾这种生活的边。"

　　帕迪摇摇晃晃地站了起来。"唉，现在我沾上了，神父，对吗？

 

She told me a bit about Fee, but she didn't say who the father was, and I didn't like to ask. Anyway, she made me promise to be good to Fee she knew they'd have Fee off the place the minute she was dead, so she had suggested to James that they find Fee a husband. I felt sorry for the poor old thing; she was terribly fond of Fee.

"Would you believe, Father, that the first time I was ever close enough to Fee to say hello to her was the day I married her?" "Oh, I'd believe it," the priest² said under his breath. He looked at the liquid in his glass, then drained³ it and reached for the bottle, filling both glasses. "So you married a lady far above you, Paddy."

"Yes. I was frightened to death of her at first. She was so beautiful in those days, Father, and so . . . out of it, if you know what I mean. As if she wasn't even there, as if it was all happening to someone else." "She's still beautiful, Paddy," said Father Ralph gently. "I can see in Meggie what she must have been like before she began to age."

"It hasn't been an easy life for her, Father, but I don't know what else I could have done. At least with me she was safe, and not abused⁴. It took me two years to get up the courage to be-well, a real husband to her. I had to teach her to cook, to sweep a floor, wash and iron clothes. She didn't know how.

"And never once in all the years we've been married, Father, has she ever complained, or laughed, or cried. It's only in the most private part of our life together that she ever displays any feeling, and even then she never speaks. I hope she will, yet I don't want her to, because I always have the idea if she did, it would be his name she'd say. Oh, I don't mean she doesn't like me, or our children. But I love her so much, and it just seems to me she hasn't got that sort of feeling left in her. Except for Frank⁵. I've always known she loved Frank more than the rest of us put together. She must have loved his father. But I don't know a thing about the man, who he was, why she couldn't marry him."

Father Ralph looked down at his hands, blinking⁶.

"Oh, Paddy, what hell¹ it is to be alive! Thank God I haven't the courage to try more than the fringe⁷ of it."

Paddy got up, rather unsteadily. "Well, I've done it now, Father, haven't I?

1 hell   

n.地狱，阴间；用以咒骂或表示愤怒，不满

参考例句：

• It's a hell of a hike from Sydney to Perth.从悉尼到珀斯的徒步旅行简直苦死了。
• The boss really gave me hell today.老板今天着实数落了我一通。

2 priest   

n.神父，牧师，司铎，司祭，领导者，神甫；vt.使成为神职人员

参考例句：

• He confessed to a priest that he had sinned.他向神父忏悔他犯了罪。
• The priest visited all the old people in the parish.牧师探望了教区里的所有老人。

3 drained   

v.（使）流干， （使）逐渐流走( drain的过去式和过去分词 )；喝光，喝干；使（精力、金钱等）耗尽

参考例句：

• His face was drained of all colour and animation. 他面如死灰。
• She suddenly felt totally drained. 她突然感到精疲力竭。

4 abused   

v.妄用( abuse的过去式和过去分词 )；虐待；辱骂

参考例句：

• All the children had been physically and emotionally abused. 所有这些儿童的身心都受到了摧残。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• This rule was brought into being because the old law was abused. 由于旧的法律遭到滥用，这条规则便应运而生。 来自《简明英汉词典》

5 frank   

adj.坦白的，直率的，真诚的

参考例句：

• A frank discussion can help to clear the air.坦率的谈论有助于消除隔阂。
• She is frank and outgoing.她很爽朗。

6 blinking   

a.(英俚)该死的，讨厌的；十足的

参考例句：

• Shut the blinking door! 关上那扇该死的门！
• Her ring is an odd little concern fitted with blinking diamonds. 她的戒指是装有许多闪光钻石的小玩意儿。

7 fringe   

n.边缘；（窗帘）缘饰，额前垂发；vt.饰...的边

参考例句：

• The girl wears her hair in a fringe.那女孩留着刘海。
• This is an enormous field of which l can touch only the fringe.这是一个很广阔的领域，我在这里只能谈个大概。