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HENRY: A long time has passed, maybe an hour or so. I eat half the potato chips
and drink the warm Coke Clare has brought along. I nap a bit. She’s gone for so long that I’m starting to consider going for a walk. Also I need to take a leak.
I hear heels tapping toward me. I look out the window, but it’s not Clare, it’s this bombshell blond girl in a tight red dress. I blink, and realize that this is Clare’s friend Helen Powell. Uh oh.
She clicks over to my side of the car, leans over and peers at me. I can see right down her dress to Tokyo. I feel slightly woozy,
“Hi, Clare’s boyfriend. I’m Helen.”
“Aren’t you going to get out of the car and be properly introduced?”
“Oh, I’m pretty comfortable where I am, thanks.”
“Well, I’ll just join you in there, then.” She moves uncertainly around the front of the car, opens the door, and plops herself into the driver’s seat.
“You have? Why?” I desperately3 wish Clare would come and rescue me, but then that would give the game away, wouldn’t it?
Helen leans toward me and says, sotto voce, “I deduced your existence. My vast powers of observation have led me to the conclusion that whatever remains4 when you have eliminated the impossible, is the truth, no matter how impossible. Hence,” Helen pauses to burp. “How unladylike. Excuse me. Hence, I have concluded that Clare must have a boyfriend, because otherwise, she would not be refusing to fuck all these very nice boys who are very much distressed5 about it. And here you are. Ta da!”
I’ve always liked Helen, and I am sad to have to mislead her. This does explain something she said to me at our wedding, though. I love it when little puzzle pieces drop into place like this.
“That’s very compelling reasoning, Helen, but I’m not Clare’s boyfriend.”
“Then why are you sitting in her car?”
I have a brainstorm6.
点击收听单词发音
1 alcoholic | |
adj.(含)酒精的,由酒精引起的;n.酗酒者 | |
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2 confides | |
v.吐露(秘密,心事等)( confide的第三人称单数 );(向某人)吐露(隐私、秘密等) | |
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3 desperately | |
adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地 | |
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4 remains | |
n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹 | |
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5 distressed | |
痛苦的 | |
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6 brainstorm | |
vi.动脑筋,出主意,想办法,献计,献策 | |
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