双语有声阅读：你就是这么毁了你的人生

 Understand that life is not a straight line. Life is not a set timeline of milestones¹. You are allowed to backtrack. You are allowed to figure out what inspires you. You are allowed time, and I think we often forget that.

你应该明白，生活不是一条直线，也不是一个时间轴，上面标记了重大事件。你可以选择倒带。你可以停下来想想是什么东西启发着你。你还有很多时间，我想常常我们忘记了这一点。

You ruin your life by choosing the wrong person.

自毁人生之一：选错了终身伴侣What is it with our need to fast-track relationships? Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning² clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself.

为什么我们觉得自己需要狂飙突进似的恋爱关系？学着独处。独自进餐，和自己约会，独自入眠。在这个过程中，你会明白自己是什么样的人。你会有所成长，了解到在人生道路上启发着你的究竟是什么。你将掌控自己的梦想，坚定自己的信仰，理清自己的思路。如此一来，当你遇到那个让你坠入爱河的人的时候，你能够确信他（她）就是那个人，因为你确知你是什么人。

You ruin your life by letting your past govern it.

自毁人生之二：纵容你的过去操控自己It is common for certain things in life to happen to you. There will be heartbreak, confusion, days where you feel like you aren’t special or purposeful. You cannot let these define you. If you don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was felt, you will look at your future with that lens, and nothing will be able to breach³ that judgment⁴.

人生不如意十九，这是很自然的事情。你可能会心碎，会迷茫，会觉得自己毫无过人之处，觉得自己活得毫无目的。别让这些不如意的过往限定自己。如果你不能从过去里走出来，从过去的感受里超脱，你就会带着过去的眼光看待自己的未来，那么所有事情无一例外都会受这种偏见的影响。

You ruin your life when you compare yourself to others.

自毁人生之三：比附他人We get caught up in what our friends are liking⁵, who our significant others are following, and at the end of the day this not only ruins our lives, but it also ruins us.

我们常常为了他人的偏好桎梏自己：我们的朋友们喜欢什么，我们的恋人在追求什么，如此一来，不仅会把我们的生活弄得一团糟，也把我们的关系弄得一团糟。

You ruin your life by tolerating it.

自毁人生之四：一味忍耐At the end of the day you should be excited to be alive. When you settle for anything less than what you innately⁶ desire, you destroy the possibility that lives inside of you. Life and work, and life and love, are not irrespective of each other. They are intrinsically linked. We have to strive to do extraordinary work, we have to strive to find extraordinary love. Only then will we tap into an extraordinarily⁷ blissful life. 最重要的是，你应该为活着而感到欢欣。如果你不去追求内心渴望的东西，而是得过且过，你就丧失了让自己内心的想法实现的机会。生活与工作，生活与爱情，它们并不是不相干的。它们之间都有着内在的联系。我们必须努力把工作干得棒棒的，努力把情感经营得棒棒的。只有这样，我们才能获得美好的，幸福的生活。

1 milestones   

n.重要事件( milestone的名词复数 )；重要阶段；转折点；里程碑

参考例句：

• Several important milestones in foreign policy have been passed by this Congress and they can be chalked up as major accomplishments. 这次代表大会通过了对外政策中几起划时代的事件，并且它们可作为主要成就记录下来。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Dale: I really envy your milestones over the last few years, Don. 我真的很羡慕你在过去几年中所建立的丰功伟绩。 来自互联网

2 stunning   

adj.极好的；使人晕倒的

参考例句：

• His plays are distinguished only by their stunning mediocrity.他的戏剧与众不同之处就是平凡得出奇。
• The finished effect was absolutely stunning.完工后的效果非常美。

3 breach   

n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破

参考例句：

• We won't have any breach of discipline.我们不允许任何破坏纪律的现象。
• He was sued for breach of contract.他因不履行合同而被起诉。

4 judgment   

n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见

参考例句：

• The chairman flatters himself on his judgment of people.主席自认为他审视人比别人高明。
• He's a man of excellent judgment.他眼力过人。

5 liking   

n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢

参考例句：

• The word palate also means taste or liking.Palate这个词也有“口味”或“嗜好”的意思。
• I must admit I have no liking for exaggeration.我必须承认我不喜欢夸大其词。

6 innately   

adv.天赋地；内在地，固有地

参考例句：

• Innately conservative, Confucius was fascinated by the last of these disciplines. 由于生性保守，孔子特别推崇“礼”。 来自英汉非文学 - 文明史
• Different individuals are innately fitted for different kinds of employment. 不同的人适合不同的职业，这是天生的。 来自互联网

7 extraordinarily   

adv.格外地；极端地

参考例句：

• She is an extraordinarily beautiful girl.她是个美丽非凡的姑娘。
• The sea was extraordinarily calm that morning.那天清晨，大海出奇地宁静。