【双语有声阅读】冬日之光 A Light in Winter

On March 16, 2002, when daffodils were swaying in the slowly warming wind of a North Carolina spring, I found myself in a snug¹ hospital room with my wife and just-born daughter, only hours old, and I thought of ice.

 

2002年3月16日,北卡罗来纳州的春天时节,水仙花在渐渐变暖的春风中摇曳,我与妻子以及刚刚出生才几个小时的女儿呆在一间温暖的病房里。这时,我想到了冰雪。

A poem called Frost at Midnight, by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, was on my mind. In this verse, written in 1798, Coleridge sits near his infant son, Hartley, on a winter night in England. He recalls events from his troubled life, one fraught² with chronic³ miseries⁴ ranging from melancholy⁵ to botched love to opium⁶ addiction⁷ to writer’s block. With a fervor⁸ usually reserved for prayer, the poet envisions a life for his son free of these problems—a vibrant⁹, creative existence. Coleridge then asks nature itself to nurture¹⁰ his parental¹¹ hope, invoking¹² the potency¹³ of green summer but also, and especially, the winter’s “secret ministry¹⁴ of frost,” “quietly shining to the quiet moon.”

我想起塞缪尔•泰勒•柯勒律治的诗《霜夜》。这首诗写于1798年,在英格兰的一个冬夜,柯勒律治坐在他幼小的儿子哈特利身旁。他回忆起自己坎坷的一生——罹患忧郁症,情路失意跌撞,沉溺鸦片,写作路上又灵感枯竭——悲歌连连。带着祈祷时的那股热情,诗人寄望儿子的生活能免于这一切不幸——过上充满活力且富有创造性的生活。接着,柯勒律治请求大自然呵护成全他对儿子的希望,恳求青葱夏日,尤其是那“向着宁静的月亮静静闪光”的冬日“秘密使者严霜”赐予力量。

 

As a college professor, I had been teaching Frost at Midnight for year and had decided¹⁵, soon after my wife became pregnant, to read the poem to commemorate¹⁶ our baby’s birth. And so I did recite the poem to our girl—we named her Una—hoping, like Coleridge, that her life would be perennially¹⁷ blessed by leaves and ice alike, by summery days but also by the chilly¹⁸ periods when she would most need strength.

 

作为一名大学教授,我曾教授《霜夜》这首诗多年,而且早在妻子怀孕后不久就决定,要读此诗来纪念我们孩子的出生。后来我的确为我们的女儿(我们给她起名叫尤纳)朗诵了这首诗,如柯勒律治一样,希望她能够永远得到绿叶和寒冰的庇佑,无论是炎炎夏日还是最需要力量的寒冷时节,福佑都不断降临于她。

What intrigued¹⁹ and moved me about the poem was its curious suggestion that gloom and loneliness might actually cultivate a sort of luminous²⁰ affection. Forlorn most of his life, Coleridge was acutely aware of the bliss²¹ of human connection. Had he led a life free of suffering he might have never realized the wondrous²² fullness that comes during a father’s watch over his child’s midnight sleep.

这首诗吸引并打动我的是其奇特的寓意——阴郁愁苦和孤独实际上可能孕育出一种光芒四射的爱意。大半生的孤凄让柯勒律治深刻意识到人际相处沟通的可贵。如果一生没经历困苦煎熬,他也许永远不会体会到一位父亲午夜看着自己孩子熟睡时那种奇妙的圆满感。

To be hollow with longing²³ is to be suffused²⁴ with love. The thirsty person best knows water. Wounded hearts realize the essence of healing.

徒有热望的心灵也是最充满爱意的。口渴的人最知道水的滋味。受伤的心灵了解疗伤的真谛。

 

 

These are Coleridge’s exhilarating and strangely hopeful conclusions. They are optimistic because they envision a world in which suffering, inevitable²⁵ and pervasive²⁶ as gravity, is not meaningless but rather a source of wisdom. Even in the darkest hell, there persists a consoling light, a light that pulsates²⁷ all the more forcibly against its murky²⁸ background. I held this hope high the day my girl was born, knowing that she, no matter how adept²⁹, would necessarily undergo failure, frustration³⁰, los and confusion.

 

这些是柯勒律治的结论,它们振奋人心,新奇而满载希望。这些论调是乐观的,因为在其眼中,世上的苦难,虽然如同地心引力一般,无处不在也无从逃避,但并非毫无意义,其实在是智慧的源泉。即使在最黑暗的地狱,总尚存一缕慰藉的光芒,在阴暗背景的映衬下它跳动得愈加有力。在女儿出生那天我满怀这种希冀——知道无论她多有能耐,都必然会遭遇失败、挫折、损失和迷惘。

Maybe these challenging episodes would push her to explore her life with more honesty, to assess with more rigor³¹ her strengths and weaknesses, and thus to discover useful truths unavailable in her more contented³² moments.

也许这些具有挑战性的“插曲”会推动她抱着一颗更赤诚的心去探索自己的人生,更加严格地评估自己的长处和弱点,从而发掘到一些在更为顺心满意时所无法获得的有用真理。

Only months after that March day in the hospital, I sat in my study preparing for a class on Coleridge’s Kubla Khan and heard Una in another room gurgle and coo and then cry. I thought about how she would soon grow too old to play with me and then become too jaded³³ to care about me and then leave home for somewhere else and only very seldom come back. I suddenly felt sadder than I ever had before. I felt the pain of losing her and the wonder of loving her. I adored her more for her imminent³⁴ going. This wasn’t happiness, and it wasn’t pleasure. It was a more profound and durable³⁵ experience, a moment encompassing³⁶ both tragedy and euphoria, a child lost and a child found.

那个三月里在医院度过那天后,才过了几个月,我坐在书房里为一堂有关柯勒律治的《忽必烈汗》的课做准备,听到尤纳在另外一个房间里格格傻笑,咿呀乱语,又大声哭喊。我想到她很快就会长大,不再与我玩耍;接着会忙碌得无暇关心我,并离家去往异乡,几乎很少回来,我突然感到一种从未有过的悲哀。我感到失去她的痛苦,也感受到对她的奇妙爱意。因为她很快就会离开我身边,我更爱她了。这不是喜悦,也不是快乐。这是一种更加深刻和持久的感受,孩子失去后又寻回那种悲喜交集的瞬间。

C. S. Lewis once claimed that the opening lines of Kubla Khan filled him with an unquenchable but rapturous yearning³⁷. He believed that such exultant³⁸ aching is nothing other than joy: “an unsatisfied desire which is itself more desirable than any other satisfaction.”

C•S•刘易斯曾经声称,《忽必烈汗》一诗的首行字句曾经给予他一种难以抑制而又欣喜异常的渴望。他认为,这种欢欣鼓舞的痛苦就是喜悦:“未得到满足的欲望比任何满足感更令人心驰神往。”

 

The German term for this experience is, as Lewis tells us, Sehnsucht, and it describes precisely³⁹ those instants when we are most alive: so sad we want to cry, so overjoyed that we weep. These antagonistic⁴⁰ epiphanies, the inspirations of Coleridge’s genius, mark the transformative epochs of our lives.

 

正如刘易斯所告诉我们的,描述这种体验的德语单词是“Sehnsucht”,它恰恰是描述了我们生活的大部分瞬间:悲伤得想哭,狂喜得落泪。这些截然相反的感受——来源于柯勒律治的天才灵感——记录着我们人生每个重要的转变时刻。

I have been blessed by at least one such revelation, a marriage of verdure and frost. It keeps my fatherly affections as fresh as the spring, even though I know snow is never far. It holds me close to my girl as she walks into the cold distance. She is now seven years old and growing fast. She laughs as much as she cries.

我也有幸至少悟到这么一种启示,一种青葱美好和霜寒阴郁相生相融的感悟。这使我能把父爱保持得如春天般生机勃勃,即使我知道雪从不遥远。在女儿走向冰冷的远方时,这份感悟能使我与她保持亲密。我的女儿现在已经7岁,正在快速成长。她经常笑,也经常哭。

1 snug   

adj.温暖舒适的，合身的，安全的；v.使整洁干净，舒适地依靠，紧贴；n.（英）酒吧里的私房

参考例句：

• He showed us into a snug little sitting room.他领我们走进了一间温暖而舒适的小客厅。
• She had a small but snug home.她有个小小的但很舒适的家。

2 fraught   

adj.充满…的，伴有(危险等)的；忧虑的

参考例句：

• The coming months will be fraught with fateful decisions.未来数月将充满重大的决定。
• There's no need to look so fraught!用不着那么愁眉苦脸的！

3 chronic   

adj.(疾病)长期未愈的，慢性的；极坏的

参考例句：

• Famine differs from chronic malnutrition.饥荒不同于慢性营养不良。
• Chronic poisoning may lead to death from inanition.慢性中毒也可能由虚弱导致死亡。

4 miseries   

n.痛苦( misery的名词复数 )；痛苦的事；穷困；常发牢骚的人

参考例句：

• They forgot all their fears and all their miseries in an instant. 他们马上忘记了一切恐惧和痛苦。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• I'm suffering the miseries of unemployment. 我正为失业而痛苦。 来自《简明英汉词典》

5 melancholy   

n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的

参考例句：

• All at once he fell into a state of profound melancholy.他立即陷入无尽的忧思之中。
• He felt melancholy after he failed the exam.这次考试没通过，他感到很郁闷。

6 opium   

n.鸦片；adj.鸦片的

参考例句：

• That man gave her a dose of opium.那男人给了她一剂鸦片。
• Opium is classed under the head of narcotic.鸦片是归入麻醉剂一类的东西。

7 addiction   

n.上瘾入迷，嗜好

参考例句：

• He stole money from his parents to feed his addiction.他从父母那儿偷钱以满足自己的嗜好。
• Areas of drug dealing are hellholes of addiction,poverty and murder.贩卖毒品的地区往往是吸毒上瘾、贫困和发生谋杀的地方。

8 fervor   

n.热诚；热心；炽热

参考例句：

• They were concerned only with their own religious fervor.他们只关心自己的宗教热诚。
• The speech aroused nationalist fervor.这个演讲喚起了民族主义热情。

9 vibrant   

adj.震颤的，响亮的，充满活力的，精力充沛的，(色彩)鲜明的

参考例句：

• He always uses vibrant colours in his paintings. 他在画中总是使用鲜明的色彩。
• She gave a vibrant performance in the leading role in the school play.她在学校表演中生气盎然地扮演了主角。

10 nurture   

n.养育，照顾，教育；滋养，营养品；vt.养育，给与营养物，教养，扶持

参考例句：

• The tree grows well in his nurture.在他的培育下这棵树长得很好。
• The two sisters had received very different nurture.这俩个姊妹接受过极不同的教育。

11 parental   

adj.父母的；父的；母的

参考例句：

• He encourages parental involvement in the running of school.他鼓励学生家长参与学校的管理。
• Children always revolt against parental disciplines.孩子们总是反抗父母的管束。

12 invoking   

v.援引( invoke的现在分词 )；行使（权利等）；祈求救助；恳求

参考例句：

• You can customise the behavior of the Asynchronous Server and hence re-brand it by defining your own command set for invoking services. 通过定义自己调用服务的命令集，您可以定制自定义异步服务器的行为，通过为调用服务定义自己的命令集从而对它重新标记。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• You can customize the behavior of the Asynchronous Server and hence re-brand it by defining your own command set for invoking services. 通过定义自己调用服务的命令集，您可以定制自定义异步服务器的行为，通过为调用服务定义自己的命令集从而对它重新标记。 来自辞典例句

13 potency   

n. 效力，潜能

参考例句：

• Alcohol increases the drug's potency.酒精能增加这种毒品的效力。
• Sunscreen can lose its potency if left over winter in the bathroom cabinet.如果把防晒霜在盥洗室的壁橱里放一个冬天，就有可能失效。

14 ministry   

n.(政府的)部；牧师

参考例句：

• They sent a deputation to the ministry to complain.他们派了一个代表团到部里投诉。
• We probed the Air Ministry statements.我们调查了空军部的记录。

15 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

16 commemorate   

vt.纪念，庆祝

参考例句：

• This building was built to commemorate the Fire of London.这栋大楼是为纪念“伦敦大火”而兴建的。
• We commemorate the founding of our nation with a public holiday.我们放假一日以庆祝国庆。

17 perennially   

adv.经常出现地；长期地；持久地；永久地

参考例句：

• He perennially does business abroad. 他常年在国外做生意。 来自辞典例句
• We want to know what is perennially new about the world. 我们想知道世上什么东西永远是新的。 来自互联网

18 chilly   

adj.凉快的，寒冷的

参考例句：

• I feel chilly without a coat.我由于没有穿大衣而感到凉飕飕的。
• I grew chilly when the fire went out.炉火熄灭后，寒气逼人。

19 intrigued   

adj.好奇的，被迷住了的v.搞阴谋诡计(intrigue的过去式)；激起…的兴趣或好奇心；“intrigue”的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• You've really intrigued me—tell me more! 你说的真有意思—再给我讲一些吧！
• He was intrigued by her story. 他被她的故事迷住了。

20 luminous   

adj.发光的，发亮的；光明的；明白易懂的；有启发的

参考例句：

• There are luminous knobs on all the doors in my house.我家所有门上都安有夜光把手。
• Most clocks and watches in this shop are in luminous paint.这家商店出售的大多数钟表都涂了发光漆。

21 bliss   

n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福

参考例句：

• It's sheer bliss to be able to spend the day in bed.整天都可以躺在床上真是幸福。
• He's in bliss that he's won the Nobel Prize.他非常高兴，因为获得了诺贝尔奖金。

22 wondrous   

adj.令人惊奇的，奇妙的；adv.惊人地；异乎寻常地；令人惊叹地

参考例句：

• The internal structure of the Department is wondrous to behold.看一下国务院的内部结构是很有意思的。
• We were driven across this wondrous vast land of lakes and forests.我们乘车穿越这片有着湖泊及森林的广袤而神奇的土地。

23 longing   

n.（for）渴望

参考例句：

• Hearing the tune again sent waves of longing through her.再次听到那首曲子使她胸中充满了渴望。
• His heart burned with longing for revenge.他心中燃烧着急欲复仇的怒火。

24 suffused   

v.（指颜色、水气等）弥漫于，布满( suffuse的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Her face was suffused with colour. 她满脸通红。
• Her eyes were suffused with warm, excited tears. 她激动地热泪盈眶。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

25 inevitable   

adj.不可避免的，必然发生的

参考例句：

• Mary was wearing her inevitable large hat.玛丽戴着她总是戴的那顶大帽子。
• The defeat had inevitable consequences for British policy.战败对英国政策不可避免地产生了影响。

26 pervasive   

adj.普遍的；遍布的，(到处)弥漫的；渗透性的

参考例句：

• It is the most pervasive compound on earth.它是地球上最普遍的化合物。
• The adverse health effects of car exhaust are pervasive and difficult to measure.汽车尾气对人类健康所构成的有害影响是普遍的，并且难以估算。

27 pulsates   

v.有节奏地舒张及收缩( pulsate的第三人称单数 )；跳动；脉动；受（激情）震动

参考例句：

• My life pulsates with every movment of my country. 我的一生是随着祖国的脉搏而跳动的。 来自辞典例句
• The sick cow frequently attempts urination and pulsates the urethra over the ischium arch. 病牛频频企图排尿，搏动坐骨弓上的尿道。 来自辞典例句

28 murky   

adj.黑暗的，朦胧的；adv.阴暗地，混浊地；n.阴暗；昏暗

参考例句：

• She threw it into the river's murky depths.她把它扔进了混浊的河水深处。
• She had a decidedly murky past.她的历史背景令人捉摸不透。

29 adept   

adj.老练的，精通的

参考例句：

• When it comes to photography,I'm not an adept.要说照相，我不是内行。
• He was highly adept at avoiding trouble.他十分善于避开麻烦。

30 frustration   

n.挫折，失败，失效，落空

参考例句：

• He had to fight back tears of frustration.他不得不强忍住失意的泪水。
• He beat his hands on the steering wheel in frustration.他沮丧地用手打了几下方向盘。

31 rigor   

n.严酷，严格，严厉

参考例句：

• Their analysis lacks rigor.他们的分析缺乏严谨性。||The crime will be treated with the full rigor of the law.这一罪行会严格依法审理。

32 contented   

adj.满意的，安心的，知足的

参考例句：

• He won't be contented until he's upset everyone in the office.不把办公室里的每个人弄得心烦意乱他就不会满足。
• The people are making a good living and are contented,each in his station.人民安居乐业。

33 jaded   

adj.精疲力竭的；厌倦的；（因过饱或过多而）腻烦的；迟钝的

参考例句：

• I felt terribly jaded after working all weekend. 整个周末工作之后我感到疲惫不堪。
• Here is a dish that will revive jaded palates. 这道菜简直可以恢复迟钝的味觉。 来自《简明英汉词典》

34 imminent   

adj.即将发生的，临近的，逼近的

参考例句：

• The black clounds show that a storm is imminent.乌云预示暴风雨即将来临。
• The country is in imminent danger.国难当头。

35 durable   

adj.持久的，耐久的

参考例句：

• This raincoat is made of very durable material.这件雨衣是用非常耐用的料子做的。
• They frequently require more major durable purchases.他们经常需要购买耐用消费品。

36 encompassing   

v.围绕( encompass的现在分词 )；包围；包含；包括

参考例句：

• Being too large and all-encompassing is a common defect among state-owned enterprises. 过分追求大而全，是国企的一大通病。 来自互联网
• Our services are: all-encompassing, love justice and high quality. 我们的服务目标是：全方位、真情义、高质量。 来自互联网

37 yearning   

a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的

参考例句：

• a yearning for a quiet life 对宁静生活的向往
• He felt a great yearning after his old job. 他对过去的工作有一种强烈的渴想。

38 exultant   

adj.欢腾的，狂欢的，大喜的

参考例句：

• The exultant crowds were dancing in the streets.欢欣的人群在大街上跳起了舞。
• He was exultant that she was still so much in his power.他仍然能轻而易举地摆布她，对此他欣喜若狂。

39 precisely   

adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地

参考例句：

• It's precisely that sort of slick sales-talk that I mistrust.我不相信的正是那种油腔滑调的推销宣传。
• The man adjusted very precisely.那个人调得很准。

40 antagonistic   

adj.敌对的

参考例句：

• He is always antagonistic towards new ideas.他对新思想总是持反对态度。
• They merely stirred in a nervous and wholly antagonistic way.他们只是神经质地，带着完全敌对情绪地骚动了一下。