【英语语言学习】衰老

And this is For The Record. There are at least 43 million people in this country over the age of 65. And in 35 years that number is expected to double. That means more families than ever are grappling with a difficult decision - what to do when a grandparent, a parent or spouse¹ can no longer take care of themselves and live on their own? And the conversation around that can be a difficult one. For The Record today - aging out and moving on.

We begin with 73-year-old Juanita Jollett (ph). She and her husband lived in Chicago for decades. They raised their kids there, had a full life, a house they loved. But when that house started to age, they began to notice their own limitations.

JUANITA JOLLETT: Things started breaking down. And you don't have the money to fix it. You know, the older you get, you know, you start breaking down, and the house starts breaking down. And there's no extra money coming in.

MARTIN: Eighty-eight-year-old John Kaiser (ph) and his wife, Dorothy, had been living out their golden years in Florida. Dorothy had a stroke. But John says they were managing the most basic tasks together.

JOHN KAISER: Between her being able to do a little footwork and me supporting her - between us we could transfer to the commode, to the wheelchair, into the car. So we still went out and played duplicate² bridge, and we had our normal life. And we were doing just fine.

MARTIN: Then his wife took a turn for the worse.

KAISER: And that changed the whole equation³.

MARTIN: On the other side of this story is Hope Hidenricht (ph) of Dayton, Ohio.

HOPE HIDENRICHT: My father is going to be 89. He is on dialysis three times a week.

MARTIN: And her mom, who's 80, is starting to have memory problems. Hope says she's afraid of getting more phone calls like this one that happened recently.

HIDENRICHT: I called my mom, and she's like, well, your dad's on the floor. And I was like, why? And she goes, well, he fell, and he hasn't been able to get up for the last two hours. I go, why is he there? And she's like, well, he doesn't want me to call anybody. And I'm like, well, then I'm calling. And I literally⁴ hung up on my mother, called the local number for the EMS and sent the EMS squad⁵ out there so they could scoop⁶ my dad up off the floor and make sure he was OK. And I caught holy heck for that.

MARTIN: So first there's a realization⁷ that things have changed. Then, for a lot of families, there is a conversation. For John Kaiser, it was a short one. His wife was really sick. He couldn't take care of her alone, and his kids wanted them to move closer into an assisted care facility in Washington, D.C.

KAISER: One day my daughter called me and told me that this isn't sustainable. I immediately recognized that.

MARTIN: Juanita Jollett's conversations with her kids also happened long-distance.

JOLLETT: Every time we would talk to them, they were like, mom, dad, you guys are getting older. Something happens to you, we've got to get on a plane. We've got to do this. And it would be just so much easier, and, you know, we were like...

MARTIN: What did you say in those conversations?

JOLLETT: I was like, no, no, no. You know, I'm fine.

MARTIN: For Juanita, the idea of moving to a different state to a seniors-only community felt like giving up.

JOLLETT: I thought you move into this place, you have a whole bunch of old people sitting down looking at you and just watching the door and waiting for their relatives to come and take them somewhere.

MARTIN: Hope Hidenricht had the conversation with her parents a few months ago.

HIDENRICHT: We were in the family room which is where my parents spend most of their time. It's where my dad's lift chair is, and it started out OK. And then as soon as I would say, you know, well, what kind of a time frame are we thinking here, they both immediately - oh, we're not ready for that yet. We don't need that. They don't feel like they are, quote, nursing home material, unquote. And they basically shut the conversation down. I love my parents very much, and whenever they are hurting or get hurt or are struggling, it just really bothers me that I can't do anything about it.

MARTIN: After some convincing by her kids, Juanita Jollett and her husband, Calvin, sold their house in Chicago and moved into a co-op for seniors, The Palm Terrace⁸ in Ontario, California. The downsizing took some time to get used to.

JOLLETT: When I saw the apartment I was like, oh, my God.

MARTIN: But in the end, Juanita says it was the right choice. She likes the community. There are potlucks and, yes, there is bingo. And something she didn't expect - leaving home, moving into this place, has drawn⁹ her even closer to her husband.

JOLLETT: The apartment is smaller. It makes us talk more. As we get older, we seem to realize that, you know, we love each other more and more as time goes by. Where you're younger, and you're busy, you're doing things, you're trying to raise the kids and everything. You'll say, oh, yeah, I love you, or you know I love you. But now we really talk about how we really feel about each other.

MARTIN: John Kaiser and his wife ended up moving to an assisted living complex close to where many of his kids and 18 grandkids live. It's called Sunrise Senior Living in Washington. His wife, Dorothy, passed away three years ago. He still lives in the same apartment he shared with her. And when he thinks about his life now, he is clear eyed.

KAISER: I'm in the last chapter of my book of life. I've been able to take chapters and put them on a shelf. So that Florida life was wonderful. We had a lot of great times. I just close that book, and put it away.

MARTIN: Although he acknowledges¹⁰ that starting over late in life can be more difficult for others.

KAISER: I know a lot of people can't make that change. They don't like to go out and put themselves in a dining room with 40 strangers every night. But, you know, you have to be realistic about your needs.

MARTIN: For many people, the most comfortable and often most affordable¹¹ option is to move in with other family members. John says he and his wife never considered that. They didn't want to burden their kids and had resources to pay for assisted living. But Juanita says it is still a real possibility for her. Although there are family politics at play.

JOLLETT: I've talked to my daughters and so now the thing is knowing my three daughters, I have to kind of lean toward the one that I'm not going to be fussing¹² with a lot.

MARTIN: (Laughter).

JOLLETT: You know. I can do something, and they won't be, like, mom, why'd you do that? You know? And so I hope and pray that the lord let me live independent for a long time. I don't want to hurt their feelings but oo wee.

MARTIN: Meanwhile, Hope Hidenricht is still working through this process with her parents. She's offered to have the move into her house, but they don't want to talk about that either. She says it feels like the whole parent-child relationship has been flipped¹³ on its head, and she wants others to be prepared to face the same thing.

HIDENRICHT: I always thought that kind of my parents were, you know, invincible¹⁴, and they were the ones that would, you know, always take care of me. And in a much quicker fashion, those roles have reversed¹⁵. So do think about it, do start having the conversations, even if they don't go well at first.

MARTIN: Hope's next move - she's planning to ask a local minister who lives nearby if he can help facilitate¹⁶ yet another talk with her parents about what comes next.

1 spouse   

n.配偶(指夫或妻)

参考例句：

• Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要来看她。
• What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法是什么？

2 duplicate   

n.复制品；v.复写，使加倍；adj.复制的，二倍的

参考例句：

• The manager asks the secretary to duplicate the document.经理让秘书复印这份文件。
• This agreement is done in duplicate.本协议书一式两份。

3 equation   

n.方程式，等式，等同

参考例句：

• The solution can be expressed by a mathematical equation.答案可用一个数学方程式来表示。
• This equation is known as the ideal gas law.这个等式被叫做理想气体定律。

4 literally   

adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实

参考例句：

• He translated the passage literally.他逐字逐句地翻译这段文字。
• Sometimes she would not sit down till she was literally faint.有时候，她不走到真正要昏厥了，决不肯坐下来。

5 squad   

n.班，小队，小团体；vt.把…编成班或小组

参考例句：

• The squad leader ordered the men to mark time.班长命令战士们原地踏步。
• A squad is the smallest unit in an army.班是军队的最小构成单位。

6 scoop   

n.铲子，舀取，独家新闻；v.汲取，舀取，抢先登出

参考例句：

• In the morning he must get his boy to scoop it out.早上一定得叫佣人把它剜出来。
• Uh,one scoop of coffee and one scoop of chocolate for me.我要一勺咖啡的和一勺巧克力的。

7 realization   

n.实现；认识到，深刻了解

参考例句：

• We shall gladly lend every effort in our power toward its realization.我们将乐意为它的实现而竭尽全力。
• He came to the realization that he would never make a good teacher.他逐渐认识到自己永远不会成为好老师。

8 terrace   

n.平台，阳台，梯田；vt.使成梯田，给...建阳台

参考例句：

• The dining-room opens onto a paved terrace.餐厅通往一个铺砌的露台。
• She was waiting for him at the cafe terrace.她在咖啡馆露台上等他。

9 drawn   

v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的

参考例句：

• All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
• Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。

10 acknowledges   

v.承认( acknowledge的第三人称单数 )；鸣谢；对…打招呼；告知已收到

参考例句：

• Chagrin is not something a great man often acknowledges. 一位伟大的人物往往是不肯承认自己恼羞成怒的。 来自辞典例句
• The Daily Food Guide acknowledges this by identifying the fat-sweets group. 每日膳食指南通过鉴定脂肪一糖类确认了这一点。 来自互联网

11 affordable   

adj.支付得起的，不太昂贵的

参考例句：

• The rent for the four-roomed house is affordable.四居室房屋的房租付得起。
• There are few affordable apartments in big cities.在大城市中没有几所公寓是便宜的。

12 fussing   

小题大做，大惊小怪( fuss的现在分词 )； 烦恼，激动（尤指对小事）； 瞎忙一气，过分关心

参考例句：

• Stop fussing about; the bus will arrive on time. 别慌，公共汽车会准时到达。
• I wish you would stop fussing me about. I'm quite able to look after myself. 但愿你不要为我过于操心了，我挺能照顾我自己。

13 flipped   

轻弹( flip的过去式和过去分词 )； 按（开关）； 快速翻转； 急挥

参考例句：

• The plane flipped and crashed. 飞机猛地翻转，撞毁了。
• The carter flipped at the horse with his whip. 赶大车的人扬鞭朝着马轻轻地抽打。

14 invincible   

adj.不可征服的，难以制服的

参考例句：

• This football team was once reputed to be invincible.这支足球队曾被誉为无敌的劲旅。
• The workers are invincible as long as they hold together.只要工人团结一致，他们就是不可战胜的。

15 reversed   

v.（使）反转( reverse的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）颠倒；（使）翻转；推翻adj.颠倒的

参考例句：

• The new president reversed many of the policies of his predecessor. 新任总统彻底改变了其前任的许多政策。
• The appeal court reversed the original verdict and set the prisoner free. 上诉法庭撤销了原判，把那个犯人释放了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

16 facilitate   

vt.使容易（便利）推进，促进

参考例句：

• Modern inventions facilitate housework.许多现代发明便利了家务劳动。
• The new airport will facilitate the development of tourism.新机场将促进旅游业的发展。