英语美文：为你的轻松约会成功支妙

 　　“身体语言”这一类词儿我们早就听得耳朵长茧了，然而，你真的知道别人对你源源不断，孜孜不倦地散发的那些气场到底暗示着什么吗？

　　Interactions can be wrought¹ with mixed signals- saying one thing and non-verbally communicating another. No wonder so many singles report confusion regarding what their date was really thinking or feeling. On the surface, understanding this language can seem very difficult, if not impossible. Not so, if you learn to speak the non-verbal language of process.

　　交流这种事情其实最纠结了，总是有人嘴上说着一套，心里想着一套。怪不得很多单身人士都抱怨说不知道约会对象到底在想什么。不过其实只要摸清了一些非语言表达方式的含义，那么看清对方的心思也没那么难。

　　The following tips will be presented using examples of naturally (and commonly) reported dating scenarios² experienced by singles.

　　我们搜集了众多单身人士的约会资料，情景再现般地教给大家怎样破译约会的谜题。

　　1. Eye contact

　　四目相对型

　　When you are sitting and talking with your date, do you notice how they look at you, when you or they are speaking? When their eye contact is good, this is a sign that they feel comfortable and interested in you. They are really involved in the interaction and want to be there. It also communicates honesty and sincerity³. Conversely, when your date has difficulty making eye contact, this communicates discomfort⁴; lack of interest or it could be extreme shyness. The last would be easy to know if they are a shy person in general.

　　当你们并肩而坐侃侃而谈之时，你有没有注意过他/她的眼睛？如果对方两眼一直关怀着你，那么他/她必然是对你有好感，表示他/她很享受交流的过程，同时你还能看到对方内心深处的坦诚与真挚。反之，如果他/她就是不愿抬眼跟你对望，那么对方要么就是对你没有好感、提不起兴趣，要么就是害羞。是不是害羞一般而言比较容易看出来。

　　2. Restlessness

　　坐立不安型

　　Have you ever experienced the restless date? You know the one. He moves around in his chair, she looks at her watch, and his mind seems somewhere else. He may or may not offer an explanation. What appears to be going on is that her mind IS somewhere else. This behavior communicates a lack of interest or a preoccupation with someone or somewhere else.

　　跟这种人约会过吗？男的坐立不安，神情恍惚；女的一会看表，一会提包。这种情况都不需要解释，两种可能，一是他/她对你没有兴趣，再者就是他/她心里有事儿，身在曹营心在汉。

　　3. Looking around at others a lot and not at you

　　左顾右盼型

　　Have you ever had the unpleasant experience of being out with someone who watches the crowd the whole time? Perhaps, they just glance furtively⁵ (and frequently) around the room? This, of course, signals lack of interest, possible discomfort and a desire to avoid interaction with you. It can also be a general sign of someone who is not trustworthy, or at the very least, hasn't been completely honest/ candid⁶ with you.

　　想想看你好不容易约上一个他/她出来，对方却一直关注着周围来来往往的人群，没人可看时就从天花板到地砖缝上下前后得瞄。你说悲哀不悲哀。这显示了对方对你不感兴趣，可能是觉着跟你在一起不舒服，或者干脆就是躲避跟你谈话。反过来，你怎么看他/她？那就是，不值得信任，至少不是那种实实诚诚的敞亮人儿。

　　4. Is noticeably quiet

　　难开尊口型

　　Oh, how deafening⁷ is silence. It can speak volumes. If your date has little to say to you what does this mean? Maybe they are just not very interested in you. Perhaps they don't think you would care to hear what they have to say. Maybe they think you wouldn't appreciate hearing what they are really thinking. Perhaps they are in an off or sour mood. Only you can interpret this. Be careful not to quickly write it off to something you want it to be, as opposed to what it really is.

　　沉默，只是沉默，此时无声胜有声。相顾无言其实能说明很多事。如果你的约会对象跟你玩沉默，这能反映什么问题？可能是他/她对你没兴趣，或者是她认为你不太愿意听她的娓娓道来，再就是他怕自己滔滔不绝的一大堆到你这里会没有反应，又或者他/她是情绪不佳呢。局势复杂，只有当事者能看清。所以，别对沉默草率地下结论，因为你很可能就看错了。

　　5. Stiffening⁹ or closed-in body posture¹⁰

　　身体僵硬型

　　You know what YOU do in uncomfortable situations. You fold your arms tightly across your chest. You stiffen⁸ your spine¹¹. You tightly cross your legs. You turn your body at an angle away from the person you are facing. You lean away from the person you are with.

　　在一个不自在的场合下，相信你也有类似的举动：脊梁骨发僵，双臂交叉放在胸前，双腿并拢脚下吃劲，面对面时打偏座避免直面对方，并排坐时会下意识地把身体往反方向躲……等等。

　　Of course, the reverse is true when the interaction feels good. You lean forward. Your arms are relaxed or laying open to the person. You face the other person directly. Your posture is relaxed and at ease.

　　反之如果环境和交流让你感到轻松，上面这些举动就全部会倒过来。你会肘臂前倾，身体放松，面向对方体态舒展，整个人处于自然轻松的状态。

　　It's fairly easy to interpret the closed-in posture. The other person feels uncomfortable They aren't open to the interaction with you. They would rather not be there.

　　防御性的姿态很好分辨，如果对方跟你一起感到不快，他自然不会放松舒展，事实上，他们巴不得立刻逃离你身边。

　　6. Physical Contact

　　摸摸碰碰型

　　Perhaps the easiest communication to read correctly is that of touch. If your date avoids taking your hand or putting his arm around you he may be uncomfortable or unsure. He may also be shy, but you would already know that.

　　诸多交往手段中，可能最不容易误解的就是身体接触了。简单一例，如果你约会的男朋友回避跟你牵手或者不愿意搂你，那么他要么是对你不感冒，要么是对你俩的关系不确定。当然，他仍然可能是因为害羞，不过真如此的话你也早该心里有数了。

　　If someone you have been dating for a while begins to exhibit changes in their level of eye contact, body posture, attention to you, availability and/or becomes restless or less communicative, pay attention. Their feelings have shifted. Be careful not to be too quick to explain it away. More than one occurrence should set off your silent alarm. Make sure that what they say matches what they don't say.

　　如果你察觉到你的那个他/她有所变化，比如在眼神交流、体态动作、对你的关注、陪你的时间、耐性或者是沟通技巧方面出现异常，那就要注意了，他们对你的好感可能有转变。不要着急对一种异常下结论，如果以上现象出现两个以上，那你可要注意防范他/她变心走人了。所以，观察的要点是言行一致，表里如一，双管齐下，双重考量。

1 wrought   

v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的

参考例句：

• Events in Paris wrought a change in British opinion towards France and Germany.巴黎发生的事件改变了英国对法国和德国的看法。
• It's a walking stick with a gold head wrought in the form of a flower.那是一个金质花形包头的拐杖。

2 scenarios   

n.[意]情节；剧本；事态；脚本

参考例句：

• Further, graphite cores may be safer than non-graphite cores under some accident scenarios. 再者，根据一些事故解说，石墨堆芯可比非石墨堆芯更安全一些。 来自英汉非文学 - 环境法 - 环境法
• Again, scenarios should make it clear which modes are acceptable to users in various contexts. 同样，我们可以运用场景剧本来搞清楚在不同情境下哪些模式可被用户接受。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓

3 sincerity   

n.真诚，诚意；真实

参考例句：

• His sincerity added much more authority to the story.他的真诚更增加了故事的说服力。
• He tried hard to satisfy me of his sincerity.他竭力让我了解他的诚意。

4 discomfort   

n.不舒服，不安，难过，困难，不方便

参考例句：

• One has to bear a little discomfort while travelling.旅行中总要忍受一点不便。
• She turned red with discomfort when the teacher spoke.老师讲话时她不好意思地红着脸。

5 furtively   

adv. 偷偷地, 暗中地

参考例句：

• At this some of the others furtively exchanged significant glances. 听他这样说，有几个人心照不宣地彼此对望了一眼。
• Remembering my presence, he furtively dropped it under his chair. 后来想起我在，他便偷偷地把书丢在椅子下。

6 candid   

adj.公正的，正直的；坦率的

参考例句：

• I cannot but hope the candid reader will give some allowance for it.我只有希望公正的读者多少包涵一些。
• He is quite candid with his friends.他对朋友相当坦诚。

7 deafening   

adj. 振耳欲聋的, 极喧闹的 动词deafen的现在分词形式

参考例句：

• The noise of the siren was deafening her. 汽笛声震得她耳朵都快聋了。
• The noise of the machine was deafening. 机器的轰鸣声震耳欲聋。

8 stiffen   

v.(使)硬，(使)变挺，(使)变僵硬

参考例句：

• The blood supply to the skin is reduced when muscles stiffen.当肌肉变得僵硬时，皮肤的供血量就减少了。
• I was breathing hard,and my legs were beginning to stiffen.这时我却气吁喘喘地开始感到脚有点僵硬。

9 stiffening   

n. (使衣服等)变硬的材料, 硬化 动词stiffen的现在分词形式

参考例句：

• Her mouth stiffening, she could not elaborate. 她嘴巴僵直，无法细说下去。
• No genius, not a bad guy, but the attacks are hurting and stiffening him. 不是天才，人也不坏，但是四面八方的攻击伤了他的感情，使他横下了心。

10 posture   

n.姿势，姿态，心态，态度；v.作出某种姿势

参考例句：

• The government adopted an uncompromising posture on the issue of independence.政府在独立这一问题上采取了毫不妥协的态度。
• He tore off his coat and assumed a fighting posture.他脱掉上衣，摆出一副打架的架势。

11 spine   

n.脊柱，脊椎；(动植物的)刺；书脊

参考例句：

• He broke his spine in a fall from a horse.他从马上跌下摔断了脊梁骨。
• His spine developed a slight curve.他的脊柱有点弯曲。