情人节最受欢迎的英文小幽默

 　　Marriage is an institution in which a man losses his bachelor’s degree and the woman gets her master’s status.

　　Top 14 Humor¹ of Getting married

　　#CASE 1

　　Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

　　#CASE 2

　　At the cocktail² party, one woman said to another, "Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger??" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

　　#CASE 3

　　Before a man is married, he is incomplete³. Then when he is married, he is finished.

　　#CASE 4

　　Marriage is an institution in which a man losses his bachelor’s degree and the woman gets her master’s status.

　　#CASE 5

　　A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married??" And the father replied, "I don’t know son, I’m still paying for it."

　　#CASE 6

　　Young son : "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?" Dad : "That happens in most countries son."

　　#CASE 7

　　Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late."

　　#CASE 8

　　A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.

　　#CASE 9

　　When a newly⁴ married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. Affair ?

　　#CASE 10

　　Married life is very frustrating⁵. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

　　#CASE 11

　　After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the Husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice it."

　　#CASE 12

　　A man inserted an ’ad’ in the classified⁶ : "Wife wanted". The next day, he received hundreds letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine."

　　#CASE 13

　　When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing : either the car is new or his wife is new.

　　#CASE 14

　　A woman was telling her friend : "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" the friend asked. The woman replied, "A multimillionaire."

1 humor   

n.(humour)幽默，诙谐

参考例句：

• He is distinguished for his sense of humor.他以其幽默感著称。
• American humor is founded largely on hyperbole.美式幽默主要以夸张为基础。

2 cocktail   

n.鸡尾酒；餐前开胃小吃；混合物

参考例句：

• We invited some foreign friends for a cocktail party.我们邀请了一些外国朋友参加鸡尾酒会。
• At a cocktail party in Hollywood,I was introduced to Charlie Chaplin.在好莱坞的一次鸡尾酒会上，人家把我介绍给查理·卓别林。

3 incomplete   

adj.不完全的，不完善的

参考例句：

• The building was left incomplete.那座楼没有完工就停下来了。
• His novel was incomplete when he died.他死的时候他的小说没有写完。

4 newly   

adv.新近，最近；重新，再度；以新的方式

参考例句：

• Have you reviewed for this newly published novel?你给这本新出版的小说写书评了吗？
• It is a newly planted tree and it has not established yet.这是一颗新栽的树，还没有扎下根来。

5 frustrating   

adj.产生挫折的，使人沮丧的，令人泄气的v.使不成功( frustrate的现在分词 )；挫败；使受挫折；令人沮丧

参考例句：

• It's frustrating to have to wait so long. 要等这么长时间，真令人懊恼。
• It was a demeaning and ultimately frustrating experience. 那是一次有失颜面并且令人沮丧至极的经历。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 classified   

a.分类的

参考例句：

• The books in the library are classified according to subject. 图书馆的书按学科分类。
• This information has been classified top secret. 这一情报被归为绝密类别。