Anything you want...

    One day a rich guy was having a party at his house. He was loaded, he had everything; money, a big house in Beverly Hills, drugs, girls, cars, planes; anything he wanted. The guy was also a little eccentric, and he had filled his pool with crocodiles. So there he was, he and his friendsall standing¹ around drinking, getting high and partying next to the pool.
    The guy got up on the lifeguard tower and all his friends looked up. He called for silence and said, "The first person that swims across my pool will get all my money."No one moves. The guy looked over the crowd, drew on his joint² and said, "OK, the first person that swims across my pool gets all my money AND my house."Still no one moves. "OK then, the first person that swims across my pool gets all my money, my house; AND all my cars and planes."Still, no one moves, not even a eye blinks this time.  "OK then, all my money, my house, all my cars, all my planes, all the dope you can handle, all my property, all my stocks and bonds and investments and all the girls you can handle; everything I own."Splash! Someone was in the pool. Crocodiles were all over him, but he rolled over like Tarzan, he's all over the place, fighting and dodging³. Finally he got out of the pool on the other side.
    The rich guy jumped down from the tower and ran over to him.  "That was incredible! I never thought that I would ever see that done.  Do you want the money now or later?""I don't want the money.""Do you want the house now or later?""I don't want the house.""The cars and planes?""I don't want the cars or planes.""Bonds, stocks?""I don't want that either.""Drugs?""I don't want the drugs.""Girls?""I don't want the girls."The rich guy looked at him and asked, "Well, what the hell do you want?!?!""It's simple.  I want the bastard⁴ that pushed me in!"

1 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

2 joint   

adj.联合的，共同的；n.关节，接合处；v.连接，贴合

参考例句：

• I had a bad fall,which put my shoulder out of joint.我重重地摔了一跤，肩膀脫臼了。
• We wrote a letter in joint names.我们联名写了封信。

3 dodging   

n.避开，闪过，音调改变v.闪躲( dodge的现在分词 )；回避

参考例句：

• He ran across the road, dodging the traffic. 他躲开来往的车辆跑过马路。
• I crossed the highway, dodging the traffic. 我避开车流穿过了公路。 来自辞典例句

4 bastard   

n.坏蛋，混蛋；私生子

参考例句：

• He was never concerned about being born a bastard.他从不介意自己是私生子。
• There was supposed to be no way to get at the bastard.据说没有办法买通那个混蛋。