英语杂谈：71 what to do when you feel lonely（在线收听）

All people go through stages in their lives when their friends seem few and far between. It might be because they have changed schools or moved to another place. Perhaps some friends have moved away, or maybe they have just never been really good at making friends. The point is, people get lonely and don’t know what to do.

Other people around you look so cool and you often feel left behind or clueless, or that the friends you do have do not really understand you. So what can be done?

Accept people’s differences. Not everyone has to do things the same way or behave the same way. Find other people who feel about things the way you do. That is always a good basis for a friendship/

Nurture the friends you do have. Friendships do not just happen, they need work. Phoning a friend once in a while, or being there when they need you most probably means that they will do the same for you.

Accept all invitations. Even if it is to a neighborhood street party, you never know who else will be there. Giggling together about the terrible music or the awful food could start a new friendship.

Look in familiar places. Your cousins or children of your parents’ friends may have been awful when they were five, but who knows what they are like now. don’t just write them off because they broke the wheel off your toy truck.

Birds of a feather. Get involved in activities you enjoy outside school, whether those are sports, art classes, dancing classes, or whatever triggers your interest. Chances are great that you can meet others there who are likeminded.

Start a club. Extend you existing circle of friends by starting a club of some sort. Going hiking together or regularly going to the movies doesn’t take a lot of time.

Be loyal and trustworthy. If friends know they can depend on you, they will not drop you. Never gossip about your friends to others as it always gets back to them somehow. Don’t pass on things which they have told you in confidence, either. The more people trust you, the more they will confide in you.

Be resistance-wise. You don’t have to follow everything your peer group does, but unless you want to draw lots of not very positive attention, run with the crowd, unless there is some real moral consideration involved. You don’t have to drink or take drugs because others are doing it, but go with the majority vote on the favorite cartoon.

Trust your parents’ instincts. Most of the time you don’t think of your parents when choosing your friends. After all, whose friends are they supposed to be? But generally though certainly not always, when your parents dislike a friend of yours, they are often proved right in the long run and lose out on both sides. You are both disappointed in your friend and your parents have an opportunity to say,” I told you so.”