[00:01.45]The Most Historically Inaccurate Movies Ⅱ
[00:04.39]Memoirs of a Geisha
[00:07.72]The geisha coming-of-age, was really more of a makeover,
[00:11.81]where she changed her hairstyle and clothes.
[00:14.30]It didn't involve her getting intimate with a client.
[00:17.45]In the climactic scene where Sayuri wows
[00:20.59]Gion patrons with her dancing prowess,
[00:22.90]her routine—which involves some platform shoes,
[00:26.22]fake snow, and a strobe light—
[00:28.76]seems more like a Studio 54 drag show
[00:31.53]than anything in pre-war Kyoto.
[00:33.61]Brave Heart
[00:35.76]Let's forget the fact that kilts weren't born
[00:38.44]in Scotland until about 300 years after William Wallace's day
[00:42.96]and just do some simple math. According to the movie,
[00:46.70]Wallace's blue-eyed charm at the Battle of Falkirk
[00:50.28]was so overpowering, he seduced King Edward II's wife,
[00:54.21]Isabella of France, and the result of their affair was Edward III.
[00:59.35]But according to the history books,
[01:01.68]Isabella was three years old at the time of Falkirk,
[01:04.60]and Edward III was born seven years after Wallace died.
[01:08.43]Elizabeth: The Golden Age
[01:11.30]In 1585, when the movie takes place,
[01:15.12]Queen Elizabeth was 52 years old—
[01:17.90]Cate Blanchett was 36 when she shot the film—
[01:21.37]and was not being courted by suitors like Ivan the Terrible
[01:25.08]who was dead by then. And though the movie
[01:28.43]has her rallying the troops at Tilbury astride
[01:31.58]a white steed in full armor with a sword,
[01:33.98]in fact she rode side saddle, carrying a baton.
[01:37.18]She was more of a regal majorette than Joan of Arc.
[01:41.30]The Patriot
[01:42.92]Revolutionary War figure Francis Marion “The Swamp Fox”
[01:47.40]was the basis for Mel Gibson's character,
[01:50.39]but he wasn't the forward-thinking family man
[01:53.01]they show in the flick. He was a slave owner
[01:56.48]who didn't get married (to his cousin) until
[01:59.22]after the war was over. Historians also say
[02:02.29]that he actively persecuted and murdered native Cherokees.
[02:06.08]Plus, the thrilling Battle of Guilford Court House
[02:09.93]where he vanquishes his British enemy?
[02:11.65]In reality, the Americans lost that one.
[02:14.55]2001: A Space Odyssey
[02:17.64]According to this film, in year 2001
[02:21.81]we would have had manned voyages to Jupiter,
[02:24.38]a battle of wits with a sentient computer,
[02:27.14]and a quantum leap in human evolution.
[02:29.59]Instead we got the Mir Space Station falling from the sky,
[02:33.36]Windows XP, and Freddy got fingered.
[02:36.40]Apparently the lesson here is that sometimes
[02:40.26]it's better when the movies get the facts all wrong.
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