[00:03.40]Turns around, runs like hell. Bolts. Adios. 转身、跑掉,逃之夭夭
[00:05.20]Plows down the aisle, 在教堂的通道拔足狂奔
[00:07.88]knocking old ladies out of her way... 连老太婆也碰跌
[00:08.16]Like the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona. 好像西班牙那些狂冲的牛一样
[00:12.84]And guess what! She’s got the next victim all lined up. 但等着受害的男士还在排队等她
[00:14.80]She’s turning another body on the spit. 然后她又逐个抛弃,故技重施
[00:17.20](Ike) Okay, Italics, here we go. 好啦,小猫儿,我开工了
[00:23.84](Ike’s Voice) Today is a day of profound introspection. 今天是自我反省的日子
[00:28.36]I have been accused of using this column... 有人指控我利用这个专栏
[00:30.84]to direct bitter diatribes at the opposite sex. 向异性直接作出猛烈的抨击
[00:35.92]This uncomfortable accusation... 这种指责令我很不舒服
[00:38.68]has plunged me into at least 15 minutes of serious reflection, 痛自反省了至少十五分钟
[00:41.04]from which I have emerged... 结论是我承认
[00:42.60]with the conclusion that, yes, I traffic in female stereotypes. 我一直都在利用女性
[00:51.52]when every time I step out my front door, 每次我踏足户外时
[00:52.48]"But how can one blame me 但怎可以怪责我呢
[00:54.88]I meet fresh proof that the female archetypes are alive and well." 都会见到女士朝气勃勃神采飞扬
[00:59.68]"The mother, the virgin, 母亲啦,处女啦
[01:00.64]the whore, the crone." 青楼妓女啦,丑老太婆啦
[01:02.12]"They’re elbowing you in the subway, stealing your cabs, 她们在地铁用手肘撞你
[01:04.84]and overwhelming you with perfume in elevators." 她们在电梯用香水薰你
[01:08.72]"But perhaps in fairness to the fairer sex, 公平点说,女性也有清丽温纯的
[01:09.08]I do need to broaden my horizon and add some new goddesses to the pantheon." 我愿在圣殿上增添一些新女神
[01:13.64]"I would like to nominate for deity the cheerleader, the coed... 我会增添一些啦啦队队员
[01:16.92]and the man-eater, the last of which concerns me most today." 加上俏佳人,雌老虎
[01:20.52]"In ancient Greece, this fearsome female was known as Erinys, 最后提到的悍妇正是今天要谈的 在古希腊 这位可怕的女性就是依理逆司
[01:24.92]the devouring death goddess." 是三位复仇女神的总称
[01:28.48]who likes to devour her boyfriend Shiva’s entrails..." 是印度教毁灭主神湿婆的女助手
[01:28.88]"In India, she is Kali, 在印度,她名叫卡莉
[01:29.44]"while her yoni devours 而女神能用阴道吞噬他那话儿
[01:33.88]his dot, dot, dot... never mind." 这一点不提也罢了
[01:35.64]"In Indonesia, the bloody-jawed man-eater is called Ragma." 在印尼,这种悍妇名叫灵马
[01:38.72]You notice these are all countries without cable. 这些国家都是没有有线电视的
[01:42.76]"And in Hale, Maryland, 在马里兰州
[01:47.84]she is known as Miss Maggie Carpenter, 她名叫卡美姬
[01:51.16]a.k.a. the Runaway Bride." 绰号是“逃跑新娘”
[01:52.04]"What is unusual about Miss Carpenter... 这位卡小姐异乎常人之处就是…
[01:56.44]is that she likes to dress her men up as grooms before she devours them." 先把她的男友装扮成新郎
[01:59.72]One antique hot-water handle with the "hot" still on it. 才把他们吞掉 古董式水龙头刻上一个“热”字
[02:04.08]Guaranteed to fit any American Standard cast-iron tub... 保证适合任何钢铁造的浴缸
[02:07.36]with a four-inch center mount 长四寸
[02:08.56]made between 1924 and 1938. 可嵌在二、三十年代制造的浴缸
[02:12.64]In other words, Mr. Paxton, 柏士顿先生
[02:13.08]I think you are out of the doghouse with Mrs. Paxton. 你不必再跟太太起争执了
[02:16.96]Hallelujah! I’ll see you later. I’ll put it on your charge. 感谢天主,那太好了
[02:17.16]There’s a possibility she hasn’t seen this yet. 我给你挂帐吧 美姬可能还未看到这个专栏
[02:23.72]Maybe she just hasn’t picked up a paper. Know what I mean? 或许她连报纸也没时间看
[02:26.08]- Or not. - (Man)Maggie? 不会吧
[02:30.72]Earl, you don’t need an air-conditioner. You need an attic fan. 你用不着安装冷气机
[02:31.68]There’s more in the back. Hey. 你用电风扇就行了
[02:40.60]What? 怎么啦?
[02:43.12]So, Mag, you’ve seen this, huh? 美姬,你看过这篇专栏了吗?
[02:45.04]Yes, I’ve seen it. 我看过了
[02:49.12]And it is the rudest, most offensive... 这篇是最粗鄙最狂妄的狗屁文章
[02:52.28]joke anyone has ever played on me! 从未有人敢这样戏弄本姑娘的
[02:54.48]You guys, 你们两个啊
[02:57.04]You’re both creeps, 你们两个真是诡计多端
[02:57.68]how long did this take you? Where did you get it done? 你们在哪里造一份假报纸作弄我
[03:00.44]by the way. I should "disinvite" you. 我不该请你俩参加我的婚礼
[03:00.52]Maggie, you told us no bachelorette jokes, so we didn’t-- 我们并非造一份假报纸开你玩笑
[03:10.00]Holy moly. 老天
[03:18.72]- She’s going. She’s gonna go! 她快要晕倒了
[03:18.76]- Bag. Bag! 快拿袋来
[03:21.00]Here’s the bag. 袋子在这儿
[03:22.60](Female Singer) ∮ Ready, ready, ready, ready ∮
[03:23.24]Breathe! 呼吸吧
[03:27.36]∮ All I’m ready to do is have some fun ∮
[03:27.68]∮ Ready to run ∮
[03:32.40]∮ What’s all this talk about love ∮
[03:44.20]On the local front, our town of Hale, Maryland, is still buzzing about the less-than-flattering article... 马里兰州的人还在议论纷纷
[03:47.68]about their native daughter, Maggie Carpenter. 谈论那篇描写卡美姬的专栏文章
[03:53.04]Her bridal exploits were taken to task... 专栏名作家甘艾基
[03:54.52]by New York columnist Ike Graham in USA Today. 勾勒出美姬做新娘时所做过的事
[03:58.76](Maggie’s Voice) Dear Editor: Greetings from the sticks. 编辑雅鉴： 乡村弱女有事讨教
[04:03.92]Perhaps you believe that a rural education is focused mainly... 台端谅必以为乡间教育
[04:07.84]on hog calling and tractor maintenance 只会饲养猪只,修理破车
[04:10.40]rather than reading. 断无知书识墨之人
[04:11.84]Why else would you print a piece of fiction about me 否则何以对小女子造谣生非
[04:13.72]and call it fact? 尚一口咬定千真万确?
[04:18.88]I suppose Mr. Graham was too busy thinking up slanderous statements... 小妹揣测甘艾基先生千头万绪
[04:21.76]about how I dump men for kicks... 捏造小妹以抛弃男人为乐事
[04:24.16]to bother with something silly like accuracy in reporting. 而不肯多方求证方才下笔
[04:26.12]Which is understandable, because with a man-eater like me on the loose, 既然悍妇在逃,谁愿多方求证
[04:31.00]who has time to check facts? 此事亦可理解也!
[04:33.00]- Hey, Frances, lunch today? 今天一起吃午餐好吗?
[04:33.68]- No, I’m going to the bank 我要去银行
[04:34.08]- Sorry, Ike. 艾基,对不起
[04:34.16].- Sure? 真的
[04:41.16]Don’t mention my name. 不了,不要提起我的名字啊
[04:41.32]I’m going to put in a good word for you. 我会替你美言几句
[04:42.40](Maggie’s Voice) That’s why I was surprised to find... Mr. Graham’s editor was a woman. 原来甘先生之编辑乃女士也
[04:48.08]Call me a sentimental fool, but I hoped we man-eaters could stick together. 吾辈悍妇亦应群策群力矣!
[04:52.36]"Anyway, I’m just dropping you big-city folk this little note... 我想敬告大城市的居民
[04:53.76]to say that I have thought of a ritual sacrifice..." "that would satisfy my current appetite: 我想到作出重大牺牲以尝宿愿
[04:59.64]"Ike Graham’s column on a platter." 就是删除甘艾基所写的专栏
[05:00.24]"Yours truly, Maggie Carpenter. 卡美姬敬上 |