[00:09.46]And... 好了…
[00:10.34]...on Thursdays... 在星期四…
[00:12.18]No, this is not just a TV show. 不，这不仅仅是电视秀
[00:17.42]No, this is a breakthrough, a breakout, a break-all-the-rules 不，这是具有创造力，突破性 超常规的
[00:18.74]and bring-on-the-Emmys mega-smash! 瞄准艾米奖的重量级手笔！
[00:22.30]Yes! 耶！
[00:24.18]Can I present to you this planet's ultimate reality phenomenon? 请容许我向你们介绍 这个星球的终极真人秀
[00:28.26]I Can Do Better! 我能做得更好
[00:44.14]We will all be right there as happily-married couples 我们将和婚姻美满的夫妻们
[00:47.82]are flown first class to a tropical island paradise 一起搭乘头等舱飞往一个热带天堂岛
[00:49.82]where they will be completely surrounded by professional prostitutes. 在那里他们将完全被 职业色情工作者包围
[00:56.42]And at the end of the week... Well, let's take a peek. 在一周以后…让我们来看看
[01:00.78]Well, it's been a week, and Hank, our personnel manager from Omaha, 好了，已经一周了，而汉克 我们从奥马哈来的人事主管
[01:01.98]has spent the entire seven days with Vanessa, 整个七天都和瓦妮莎在一起
[01:06.90]Yeah, it's been amazing. 是的，真不可思议
[01:06.94]our call girl and exotic dancer. 我们的应招女郎和异国舞女
[01:09.14]And I'll admit we've had some fun in the hot tub and all. 我得承认我们在浴缸里 玩得确实很开心
[01:14.10]But you wanna know something, Billy? 但是你想知道吗，比利？
[01:16.66]All we did was talk... 我们所做的只是谈话而已…
[01:19.34]...because I love my wife... 因为我爱我妻子…
[01:20.42]...and the only place I want to be is back in Omaha with my Barbara. 我想去的唯一地方 是和我的芭芭拉回到奥马哈
[01:25.34]Tough break, Nessa. 很难接受吧，瓦妮莎
[01:26.60]And Barbara, you spent Monday with Rocky, 那么芭芭拉，周一你和罗基在一起
[01:29.90]our bodybuilder and male escort, 我们的形体教练和男性陪同
[01:33.78]Tuesday through Thursday with the entire cast 周二到周四是和…
[01:35.98]of the XXX film Hung Jury, 色情电影《悬疑陪审团》的全体演员
[01:39.22]and you spent the entire weekend with Tonkiro. 另外你和顿基罗度过整个周末
[01:48.90]And now it's time for the final decision. Barbara, it's yours to make. 现在到了做出最后决定的时候了 芭芭拉，由你来做决定
[01:52.94]Is it gonna be Omaha? 是奥马哈？
[01:56.62]Or "Oma-hunks"? 还是要这些壮男？
[01:57.94]Well... 嗯…
[02:03.18]...before I came on this show I only had sex with one man, 我上这个节目之前 只和一个男人有过性关系
[02:04.78]and that was usually Hank. 那通常是汉克
[02:08.14]I love Hank deeply and forever with all my heart, 我永远爱汉克，全心全意爱他
[02:11.22]and I would never do anything to hurt him. 我也永远不会做伤害他的事
[02:15.22]But I can do better! 但我能做得更好！
[02:25.86]The battle of the sexes, as old as time but as... 两性之间的战争经久不衰，但…
[02:30.26]Why? 为什么？
[02:31.74]- Excuse me? - Why did you do it? - 什么？ - 你为什么要那么做？
[02:37.02]Oh, my God, it's Hank from I Can Do Better! 噢，上帝 是《我能做得更好》里的汉克！
[02:37.86]Hank, everyone. 这是汉克，各位
[02:46.82]No, stop it. 不，够了
[02:49.94]I love Barbara. I had a family. I had a life. 我爱芭芭拉，我曾有个家 有自己的生活
[02:53.70]I know it hurts. 我知道那伤害了你
[02:54.22]Hank, 汉克
[02:56.10]Love isn't easy. 爱并不容易
[02:58.26]Relationships aren't easy, not for anyone. 保持关系并不容易 对每个人都是这样
[03:04.42]But now you know the truth about Barbara, 但现在你知道了芭芭拉真实的一面
[03:06.82]and you are gonna move on with your life. 而你也可以继续你的生活了
[03:09.82]And you're gonna meet someone wonderful, 你会遇到很好的人
[03:12.38]and America is gonna love you. 美国会爱你的
[03:23.22]Yeah. I've got a great idea for another hot new show. 我有个另外一个关于新的热门节目的主意
[03:27.50]Well, tell it to us. 那好，告诉我们吧
[03:27.78]It's called... 它叫做…
[03:31.74]...Let's Kill All the Women. - He's got a gun! - 让我们杀掉所有女人 - 他有枪
[03:41.98]- Joanna, are you all right? - I am great. - 乔安娜，你没事吧 - 我很好
[03:47.26]Raring to go. The police were sensational. And not a scratch. 真难想像，警方干得很好，我一点事也没
[03:51.14]- You haven't heard? - About what? - 你还没听说？ - 听说什么？
[03:56.70]That man, Hank. Right before he tried to kill you, 那个男的，汉克 就在他试图杀掉你之前
[04:00.46]he went to see his ex-wife and five of her new boyfriends. 他去找他的前妻和她的五个新男朋友
[04:06.38]- He did? - He shot all of them. - 真的？ - 他向他们开了枪！
[04:08.06]The wife is in critical condition, 他前妻还没有脱离危险
[04:08.62]and four of the guys are on life support. 而其中的四个男的现在还在输氧
[04:10.90]- Tonkiro? - He's fine. - 顿基罗呢 - 他没事
[04:11.70]- Thank God. - So you know what this means. - 感谢上帝 - 那么你知道这意味着什么
[04:17.70]We pay for all of their medical treatment, every penny. 我们要承担他们的所有医疗费用
[04:17.98]Of course. 当然
[04:22.78]We get them the very best therapist, childcare, rehab, 要给他们最好的治疗，护理以及康复
[04:26.46]whatever they need, and then we fly them to New York, first class, 满足他们一切 然后让他们坐头等舱到纽约来
[04:29.02]Hank and Barbara: Let the Healing Begin. 汉克和芭芭拉：康复开始
[04:29.70]for a prime-time special, 做一个黄金时间的特别节目
[04:33.90]You're not listening. 你没听仔细
[04:35.78]We can't wear this. The lawsuits alone may bankrupt the network. 我们承受不起这个 光是打官司就够让公司破产了
[04:38.18]And all your new shows, the whole lineup, the affiliates won't touch them. 你的新节目，整个系列，将停播！
[04:44.34]We have shareholders. 我们有股东
[04:46.74]We can't let you sink the network. 我们不能让你把公司搞垮
[04:49.58]But we wish you only the best. 不过我们祝你一路顺风 |