Mentoring is a time-honored relationship, in which someone with more experience helps another with less, for purposes of growth, knowledge and support. That’s the idea behind Mentoring USA, a New York based non-profit organization that matches children and teens with adults who help them develop self-esteem and make positive life choices.
辅导帮助是一种长期的关系，一个经验丰富的人帮助另一个经验不那么丰富的人成长，增加知识。总部设在纽约的“美国辅导帮助组织”奉行的就是这个宗旨。它把成年人跟儿童和青少年搭配，让成年人帮助未成年人发展自尊自信，做出积极的生活选择。
Special relationship
It is 4 p.m. at P.S. 59, a public school on New York City’s Upper East Side. Most of the children have gone home but today is Wednesday, so fifth grader Baily Raffensperger is still here. He sits at a low table practicing his reading skills with his mentor, Tony Boccia, a 13-year veteran of the Mentoring USA program.
下午4点，纽约上城区东第59公立学校的大部分学生都放学回家了。但今天是星期三，五年级学生贝利·拉芬斯帕格依然留在学校里，在跟他的辅导员托尼·博契阿做阅读练习。博契阿为美国辅导帮助组织工作有13年了。
For them, as with the more than 5,000 or so other mentor-mentee pairs that have come through this program, homework help is a big part of the relationship, but there’s more.
对拉芬斯帕格和博契阿来说，课外作业方面的辅导是他们关系的一个重要方面。但是，辅导和被辅导之间还有很多其他互动。
"I like having a mentor because it’s kind of like having a mom or a dad at school," says Baily. "Somebody is on your side that you can talk to and that you can play games with. It’s like a really close friend.”
拉芬斯帕格说：“我喜欢有一个辅导员，因为这就像是在学校里有一个妈妈或爸爸。有个人在你身边，你可以跟他说话，跟他做游戏，就像好朋友一样。”
Both seem to enjoy the flexibility the mentoring relationship allows. Boccia finds that sometimes his mentee will want guidance, while at other times it may be game-playing or academic help.
"It’s whatever they need. And I can only say that over the years I’ve always gotten back a lot more than I’ve given," says Boccia. "It’s just wonderful working with the children and sharing the experience with them."
Joy of service
That joy of service has been at the core of Mentoring USA’s mission since it began in 1987.
自1987年成立以来，为他人服务的快乐一直是美国辅导帮助组织的核心。
Founder Matilda Cuomo's experience as a mother of five, former school teacher and former first lady of New York State, convinced her that parents, schools and communities all benefit from what mentors give children.
该组织的创始人马蒂尔达·科莫是5个孩子的妈妈，先前做过学校教师，是纽约州前州长夫人。科莫说，她的经验让她相信，父母、学校和社区都因为有人辅导帮助孩子而获益。
"The parents feel good when the child is getting help. It’s a natural thing," says Cuomo. "And the school realizes that this child needs help, and they can bring in the mentor."
科莫说：“孩子得到帮助，父母感到高兴。这很自然。假如你爱孩子，就会希望孩子获得成功。有了辅导帮助，学校也获得益处，因为教师发现孩子需要帮助，他们就找来辅导员。这非常好。知道一个需要辅导的孩子有地方获得这种帮助，就让学校教师感觉轻松了一些。”
For children, mentors can occupy an emotional space somewhere between teachers, parents and friends. Mentees who have written about their experiences often report seeking advice from mentors about issues they’re not ready to talk about with anyone else.
对获得辅导的孩子来说，辅导员在他们的感情中所占的位置介于教师、父母和朋友之间。阿德雷·施罗特是第59公立学校的校长。博阿契就在她的学校辅导贝利。她说，接受辅导的学生常常在报告里说，他们会向辅导员征询对一些问题的看法，而他们还不想跟其他任何人谈论那些问题。
"There are kids who have a difficult issue in school or they’ve got tension with friends or at home," says P.S. 59 principal Adele Schroeter, "and the mentor is like someone to try it out on."
施罗特说：“有些学生在学校遇到问题。或许跟什么人发生了冲突，或者跟朋友关系紧张了。有些孩子写道，我的父母要离婚，我还没有跟朋友说，但是我跟我的辅导员说了。这些孩子就像是尝试把这种话说出来给人听，看看会有什么反应。这是一种很独特的关系。”
Civics lesson
About 25 percent of the students at P.S. 59 are immigrants who have come to the US within the past year. Mentors often help these children adjust to their new environment.
"Our kids do a pretty good job of welcoming new class members in and our teachers do a really good job," says Schroeter, "but the mentor is just one more person who can help them make that transition, help make them feel comfortable."
She adds that simply having a caring mentor gives mentees an important civics lesson.
施罗特接着说，有一个关心他们的辅导员，对孩子们来说就是一种重要的公民课程。
"We try to communicate to kids the idea that they have kind of a commitment to society and to each other and I think the benefit from the modeling of the mentors themselves [because mentors] are really good citizens."
“我确实认为，我们要向孩子传达的一个重要思想就是他们对社会、对彼此、对社区要有承担，在教室里，在学校里，在一个更大的社区里都要有承担。从很多方面来说，孩子们不仅从辅导活动中直接获益，而且受益于辅导员的榜样。辅导员是真正的好公民。”
The mentors in the program are volunteers, not professional therapists, teachers or social workers. Still, according to Cuomo, all are rigorously screened and trained.
参加这个项目的辅导员都是义工，而不是专业心理治疗师、教师或社会工作者。但科莫表示，所有的人都是经过严格挑选和培训的。
"We take it very seriously because you are putting a child in the hands of a volunteer," she says. "I wanted to make sure that the training was par excellence."
她说：“这是一个组织和实施得非常好的项目。我们对这件事很认真，因为这是把孩子交给义工。我希望确保我们的培训是超优秀的。”
Diversity awareness
Part of that training is diversity awareness, a necessity in the Big Apple, perhaps the most ethnically diverse city in the world.
辅导员接受的训练之一是族裔多样性意识。这在纽约是必须的，因为纽约是全世界族裔最多样化的城市。
The mentors and mentees often come from widely different social, economic and cultural backgrounds, and it is often a rich learning experience for both simply to be together at all.
科莫指出，辅导员和他们辅导的孩子常常来自差异巨大的社会、经济和文化背景。双方走在一起本身就常常是一种非常好的学习机会。
"The mentor has to be trained to understand the sense of diversity we are living with today," says Cuomo.
科莫说：“辅导员必须认识我们今天这个世界的族裔多样性。这也会让辅导员得到人格提升。”
Educators and parents agree: being mentored is a win-win-win-win for parents, schools, communities and, most importantly, children.
教育工作者和学生父母一致认为，让孩子得到辅导，对父母、学校、社区和孩子都有益，而孩子获得的好处尤其巨大。 |