Voice 1
Welcome to Spotlight. I'm Liz Waid.
Voice 2
And I'm Joshua Leo. Spotlight uses a special English method of broadcasting. It is easier for people to understand, no matter where in the world they live.
Voice 1
Ola is a young woman living in Egypt. She is about 30 years old, and people have been telling her to get married. A man visits her house. He wants to marry Ola. Some people say that he is the perfect man. He looks beautiful, he has a good job, and he lives in the country of Italy. Ola believes that she may be in love with him. She may finally get married! But then she discovers a problem. The man is already married to an Italian woman! The man's mother explains that she wants him to take a second wife. Egyptian Islamic law permits the man to have four wives. That way, the mother says, he will spend more time in Egypt. Ola is very angry! This is not what she expected at all! Ola and her mother throw the man out of their house.
Voice 2
This short story is from a television program called "I Want To Get Married." This show is based on a book. And the book is based on an internet blog by Ghada Abdul-Aal. She writes about her experiences as a young woman looking for a husband. On today's Spotlight we look at Abdul-Aal's writing and why it is so popular among young people.
Voice 1
In any culture, there are many traditions young people follow to get married. Traditionally in Egypt, everything a young man and woman need for their new marriage must be purchased before they get married. This means everything must be new, even things like clothes and furniture. It also means that the newly married young people must have a place to live - a house or apartment. Traditionally, the man pays for these things. Then, there is also the money for the big wedding parties and the wedding itself. For some people these things may cost more than 15 times the money they make in a year!
Voice 2
Many young people in Egypt just do not have the money to meet these traditional needs. Information from Egypt's Population Council shows that many young men are not employed. Housing prices are also currently very high in Egypt. And there are few houses available. These conditions make many young people in Egypt afraid of their futures. Men may save their money until they have enough to marry. But this may take a few years.
Voice 1
Economic conditions cause some of these problems. But many people also blame women for this problem. They say that women are being too choosey about who they are going to marry. Women want to have a say in who they marry. And they are demanding better qualities in the men they agree to marry. Some people say these are new things that women are requiring.
Voice 2
Ghada Abdul-Aal is a medical professional. She has earned a pharmacy degree. And she is 31 years old and she is not married yet. This, she says, is a real problem. And it is a real problem many young people like her face. Abdul-Aal talked to Deborah Amos of NPR. She described the pressure on young people.
Voice 3
"Yes, the problem starts just after we graduate college. And it goes until you are 30. And 30 is like a death sentence for single women. That is especially true in my home town because it is small and conservative. And when you are 30, it is like people mark you as a failure, or pathetic or ugly or whatever."
Voice 2
And she says the pressure to get married begins even when girls are very young. She also talked to Magdi Abdelhadi from BBC News. Abdul-Aal said:
Voice 3
"They ask young girls here when they are three or four, who would you like to marry? They plant the idea that your only purpose in life is to get married. Even after she goes to school they tell her that a girl's only future is in her husband's home. So what happens when a girl for any reason cannot get married? Should she set fire to herself?"
Voice 1
Abdul-Aal began her blog in 2006. She used the blog to tell about her experiences finding a husband. Often her blog is very funny. She makes fun of herself and the situations she lives through. She says this is a very popular way of dealing with problems in Egypt. But the blog also deals with the very serious subject of finding a partner to marry - a person to share your life with.
Voice 2
One problem Abdul-Aal wrote about was the Egyptian tradition called "Gawaaz al-salonat." In this custom, a man comes to visit a woman at her home. The man, the woman, and both sets of parents meet for a short time. After this time, a woman answers if she will marry the man or not. Usually everyone wants the woman to accept the man very quickly - even if she does not necessarily like him. But Abdul-Aal thinks this is too short a time to make such a big decision. She told NPR,
Voice 3
"Sometimes, when you ask for more time, he will be angry. He will think 'Why do you need more time? Can you not see I am perfect? Can you not see I am great? What else do you need? I am God's gift to women. I am a man; I have an apartment; I have a job. How can you say no?'"
Voice 1
Women and men both see themselves in these experiences. In the television program "I Want To Get Married", the main character is Ola. Ola is a character based on Ghada. Ola is not just looking to get married. She also wants a GOOD husband. She wants a husband who will be a true partner and friend. Abdul-Aal told journalist Hadeel Al-Shalchi:
Voice 3
"If Ola's goal was just to get married, she would have accepted the first man to enter her life. But when she sees that he is not good, she refuses him and moves on. She is looking for someone who will help complete her life. Many women came up to me after I wrote the book. They see themselves in the main character."
Voice 2
The television program "I Want To Get Married" shows how women and men are finding their way through these new issues affecting marriage. It makes the point that women want to be involved in the marriage process. They do not just want their families to make the decision. They want to spend time with a man before they spend the rest of their lives together.
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