[00:05.74]What? Come on. 怎样?拜托

　　[00:07.78]The only thing you burst is your credibility. 你唯一戳破的是你的可信度

　　[00:11.14]Men are completely capable of experiencing love. 男人完全有体验爱情的能力

　　[00:12.30]Okay, l'll bite. Go on. Who's the guy? 我买帐,说吧,这家伙是谁?

　　[00:14.98]-What? -The guy. Mr. Wonderful. - 什么? - 这个完美先生

　　[00:16.90]The one who's so capable of love. Who is he? What's he like? 这个很会爱的人 他是谁?长相如何?

　　[00:22.30]He's smart, he's handsome but he doesn't know it. 他聪明、英俊却不自知

　　[00:23.78]He's successful, but in a job that means something. 他事业成功又位居要职

　　[00:28.62]He loves red wine, picnics, classical music. 他喜欢红酒、野餐、古典音乐

　　[00:34.50]This is a guy in America, right? 这家伙住美国对吧?

　　[00:35.46]l mean, you're not calling from Europe or something? 你不是从欧洲打来的吧?

　　[00:37.26]He loves dogs, but he's more of a cat person. 他爱狗,不过却更爱猫

　　[00:41.38]He never gets up before you on a Sunday morning. 他星期天绝对不会比我早起床

　　[00:42.26]Wait a second, l get it. 等等,我懂了

　　[00:45.50]You're a lesbian. 你是蕾丝边

　　[00:47.42]l mean, you just described the perfect woman. 你说的是完美的女人

　　[00:50.90]Why are you so threatened by these qualities? 你为什么这么不爽这些特质?

　　[00:52.58]ls it perhaps because you don't possess a single one of them... 也许是因为你啥都没有

　　[00:56.26]...and that is the real reason why women aren't interested in you? 这也是你没女人爱的原因

　　[01:00.74]Okay. Okay, l'll give you 1 00 bucks of my own money... 好,我自掏腰包给你一百元

　　[01:02.74]...to go get this guy and bring him down here and let me meet him. 你只要带这家伙来让我见一面

　　[01:07.50]Well, he's out there, somewhere. 他就在某个角落里

　　[01:11.06]Wait a second. 等一下

　　[01:13.78]No, l'm describing a type. 没有 我描述的是一个类型

　　[01:17.74]l thought that's what we were doing. 我们不就是在谈这个吗?

　　[01:20.10]What? You don't even know him? 搞啥?你根本不认识他?

　　[01:22.58]Whoa, okay, now l get the picture. 好,我了了

　　[01:25.66]Hold on. Oh, you're a dog. 等一下 你是野猪妹

　　[01:29.46]-What? -Well, you must be. - 什么? - 你一定是嘛

　　[01:31.18]Come on, you heard me. l mean, if you were-- 拜托 如果你够辣…

　　[01:34.26]lf you were hot, you would be out breaking some poor schmuck's heart... 你就会把一些呆头男耍得团团转

　　[01:36.62]...instead of spending all your time fantasizing about Mr. Wonderful. 而不是花时间想像完美先生

　　[01:41.98]...you're ugly. 你很丑

　　[01:44.78]l am not ugly. 我不丑

　　[01:47.14]Well, okay, let me help you out here. 那好吧,我来帮你一把

　　[01:50.66]You might as well face the fact that you're gonna be alone... 你最好面对你会终身孤独的现实

　　[01:53.94]...and stop pining away for some fantasy guy you're never gonna get. 别再肖想你永远找不到的好男人

　　[01:55.82]-How can you possibly--? -Hey, Lassie. - 你怎么可以… - 野猪妹…

　　[01:57.50]The show's called The Ugly Truth. lf you can't face it, don't call. 本节目叫《真相挖挖哇》 不能面对真相,就别打电话

　　[02:02.98]That wraps it up for this evening. 今晚的节目到此差不多了

　　[02:04.34]I'm Mike Chadway reminding you that the truth is never pretty. 我是查麦克 提醒你现实永远是残酷的

　　[02:08.10]How'd the date go? 约会进展如何?

　　[02:11.22]Well, l was very pleased with the choice of restaurant. 我很高兴选了那家餐厅

　　[02:13.82]-That is so awesome. -Why? - 真是太好了 - 为什么?

　　[02:16.10]-Morning. -Morning. - 早 - 早

　　[02:16.90]Good morning, everyone. 早,各位

　　[02:19.26]Now, before l play you this, l should warn you... 在我播带子之前,我警告各位

　　[02:20.26]...this guy's a little rough around the edges. 这家伙有点粗

　　[02:24.62]-Face it, you're ugly. -I am not ugly. - 认清现实吧,你很丑 - 我不丑

　　[02:29.10]-Well-- -Why are we watching this? - 怎么… - 我们干嘛看这个?

　　[02:31.10]Say hello to our new guest commentator. 见过我们的新名嘴

　　[02:34.06]l'm starting him at two segments a week, three minutes a pop. 我先排他一周两段,一段三分钟

　　[02:37.34]-Are you kidding me? -Who the hell is this guy? - 你是在耍我吗? - 这家伙是哪里冒出来的?

　　[02:38.06]-Name's Mike Chadway. -And he's an uber-moron misogynist... - 我叫查麦克 - 他是个反女人的白目男

　　[02:41.10]...who represents everything wrong with television and society. 他是电视和社会的反面教材

　　[02:44.74]l get crap every time l suggest we do something remotely fluffy. 我每次的提议都被批得满头包

　　[02:48.98]Oh, come on. He's got a point of view. 拜托,他的风格自成一派

　　[02:52.18]We don't have to like it. l mean, we're newspeople. 我们不必喜欢 我们是新闻人

　　[02:54.54]We're objective. Stone Phillips interviews terrorists. 我们很客观 李似端访问绑匪…

　　[02:56.46]Doesn't mean he likes them, he does it for ratings. 不代表喜欢他们 他是为了收视率

　　[02:57.50]l have a list of ideas to improve ratings. 我有一狗票的点子能改善收视率

　　[02:59.74]-You'll like it. We don't need him. -Not at all. - 你会喜欢的,我们不需要他 - 我们不需要他

　　[03:04.82]-''An intimate profile of the mayor.'' -l like that. - 〝市长的亲密档案〞 - 我喜欢

　　[03:07.98]-l like the mayor. -Fantastic. - 我喜欢市长 - 这个赞

　　[03:09.06]-The mayor? -Yes. lt can be edgy and yet intriguing. - 市长? - 对,内容铁定劲爆又有趣

　　[03:10.86]Unless you can get him to bang three crack whores... 除非你能现场直播

　　[03:12.66]...and a German shepherd on live TV, no one's gonna give a shit. 他连上三女加一只狼狗 否则根本没人想看

　　[03:20.02]Oh, l'm sorry. l was eavesdropping out in the hall. 对不起,我刚刚在外面偷听

　　[03:23.26]What did l tell you? lsn't this guy great? 我是怎么说的?这家伙赞吧?

　　[03:25.94]Oh, thanks, boss. 谢了,老板

　　[03:27.38]You already hired him? 你已经雇用他了?

　　[03:29.42]Who's this delightful creature? 这位尤物是谁啊?

　　[03:33.14]l'm your producer. 我是制片

　　[03:34.90]Hey. 嗨

　　[03:39.42]l like a woman on top. 我喜欢女人在上位

　　[03:42.58]God. 天哪

　　[03:43.18]-Nice office. -He's just kidding. - 不错的办公室 - 他开玩笑的啦

　　[03:46.22]-Excuse me. -Mike, you see your office? - 这是怎样 - 麦克,看过你的办公室没?

　　[03:47.02]Oh, yeah. 是啊

　　[03:48.22]-No, l didn't. -Let me show you. - 还没 - 来,我带你去

　　[03:51.74]-Beautiful. -Everybody take five. l'll be right back. - 赞啦 - 休息五分钟,我马上回来

　　[03:53.42]Were you all not there last year for our sexual-harassment meeting? 你们没上过性骚扰防治课吗?

　　[03:55.70]-Were you not there, Larry? -He needs to go. - 是啊,赖瑞,你没上过吗? - 他必须去

　　[03:59.06]He wasn't sexually harassing me. 他又没有骚扰我

　　[04:04.22]l am an award-winning news producer. Award-winning producer. 我是得过奖的新闻制片

　　[04:04.50]l am an award-winning news producer. l am an award-winning news producer. 我是得过奖的新闻制片 我是得过奖的新闻制片

　　[04:08.50]You're an award-winning news producer. 你是得过奖的新闻制片

　　[04:12.58]-You don't knock? -Well, l did knock. You didn't answer. - 你不敲门的啊? - 我敲了,你没反应

　　[04:13.50]So essentially, your knock was negated by your complete lack of adherence... 所以基本上,你的敲门无效

　　[04:17.82]...to the social etiquette that follows a knock. 因你完全不懂敲门后应有的礼仪

　　[04:23.30]You're wound like a fucking top. 哇,在上面这么紧张啊

　　[04:25.42]Woof, woof. Remember the bark? 汪、汪 记得我的声音吗?

　　[04:30.46]Last night, a little phone conversation we had. 昨晚,我们通过电话

　　[04:31.18]Yeah. Hey, what do you know? 对哦!真想不到

　　[04:35.78]You're not ugly at all. 真是的,你不像野猪妹嘛

　　[04:35.94]Oh, well, imagine my relief. 我还真松了一口气

　　[04:40.14]l would never have gotten it without you. 要不是你我根本没搞头

　　[04:40.22]l want to thank you for getting me this gig. 我想感谢你给我机会

　　[04:43.50]You and l, we make good TV. 你和我,做出好节目

　　[04:47.38]You make imbecilic trash... 你的节目…

　　[04:47.78]...watched by housebound inbreds who are so busy... 根本是给低能的人看的

　　[04:49.18]...with their hands down their pants, they can't change the remote. 他们的手忙着伸进裤子里自爽 没时间按遥控器转台

　　[04:53.66]l hadn't been picturing you that way, but it's a nice image. 没想到你会那样,不过这画面很赞

　　[04:57.74]l do not watch your program. 我根本不看你的节目

　　[04:58.70]My cat stepped on the remote. 是我的咪咪不小心踩到遥控器