[00:07.26]Larry, Georgia, listen to me. l want you to skewer him. 赖瑞、乔雅你们听我说 我要你们搞死他

　　[00:10.54]l want Mike Chadway to go down in flames. 我要查麦克死无葬身之地

　　[00:12.94]l want Mike Chadway to be nothing but a pile of ash next to you. 我要查麦克在你们身旁化成灰烬

　　[00:17.02]l want the janitor to come vacuum up the ashes of Mike with his Dustbuster... 我要打扫阿桑进来

　　[00:20.78]...and when he dumps it outside, l want the rats to vomit and defecate... 用强力吸尘器把他的灰给吸光 再把灰都倒在外面的垃圾箱里

　　[00:23.58]...on the ashes of Mike Chadway. 让老鼠在他的灰烬上又吐又拉

　　[00:27.82]And l thought you were angry and bitter. 我还以为你比较泼辣呢

　　[00:30.10]No, Larry, that would be my untouched vagina. 不,赖瑞 泼辣的是我饥渴的欲望

　　[00:34.58]Twenty seconds to air. 在过20秒上现场

　　[00:35.78]-Chadway? -What? - 查麦克 - 什么?

　　[00:39.06]About ready? Larry? 准备好了?赖瑞?

　　[00:39.98]-There's a bird in my dressing room. -l'll take care of it. - 我的化妆间有只小鸟 - 我会搞定

　　[00:41.66]-A real bird? -lt's flying around. - 真的鸟? - 对,四处乱飞

　　[00:42.74]-A sparrow? -Why? - 是麻雀? - 干嘛问?

　　[00:44.66]-l don't know what type of bird it is. -Security here is awful. - 我不知是什么鸟,就是一只鸟 - 这里的保全真糟

　　[00:48.50]You guys have really got to keep the doors closed. 你们该把门关好

　　[00:49.90]Four, three.... 四、三

　　[00:53.30]Morning, everyone, l'm Larry Freeman. Another beautiful day in Sacramento. 各位早安,我是费赖瑞 又是沙加缅度美好的一天

　　[00:59.14]And I'm here with a beautiful woman. 我与一位美女同坐在此

　　[01:00.86]-Go, 1 . -All right, here we go. - 一号机 - 好,开始了

　　[01:01.22]Thank you, Larry. 谢谢你,赖瑞

　　[01:03.02]-I'm Georgia Bordeney. -Ready for the single on Georgia. - 你好,我是波乔雅 - 好,准备给乔雅特写

　　[01:05.38]For years, there have been concerns about lowering television standards. 多年来,电视水平低下常引争议

　　[01:08.70]But many believe that this man and his local public-access show... 但许多人相信此人与其小众节目

　　[01:14.94]...have brought things to a new low. 将水平带到了新低点

　　[01:15.82]With that, we welcome Mike Chadway. 在此,我们欢迎查麦克

　　[01:18.02]How you doing, guys? 各位好

　　[01:19.94]Mike, how do you respond to people who say your show is offensive? 麦克,你对于 说你节目烂的人有何回应?

　　[01:24.58]Well, it is. But then again, so is the truth. 的确是的,不过真相也是如此

　　[01:26.98]The truth about what, Mr. Chadway? 什么的真相?

　　[01:31.34]What relationships are really like. 男女关系的真实面孔

　　[01:31.66]Take marriage, for instance. 就拿婚姻来说吧

　　[01:34.66]lt's about social pressure, status and sex. 那结合了社会压力、地位和性

　　[01:41.02]lf it weren't for these three things, men and women wouldn't even speak. 没这三样,女人根本懒得理你

　　[01:44.90]Oh, dear. Sounds to me like no one's ever loved you... 天哪,听来你是根本没人爱

　　[01:47.94]...and you're taking that out on the female population. 还把怒气发在女性族群的身上

　　[01:51.74]-lt's like Crossfire. -That was a good one. - 这真像《全民开讲》 - 那节目不错

　　[01:52.94]Good one. 说得好

　　[01:54.70]While we're making these observations... 乔雅,就我们观察

　　[01:57.50]...you two project this image of the perfect couple, when clearly it's a lie. 你们投射出完美夫妻的形象 而这很明显根本是假象

　　[02:02.98]Excuse me? 什么?

　　[02:05.98]-Holy shit. -Break for commercial. - 妈呀 - 进广告

　　[02:06.22]-No. -Stuart said keep rolling no matter what. - 不、不、不 - 老大说不管怎样都继续播

　　[02:10.10]What? When? This is my show. 什么?这是我的节目

　　[02:13.10]-Not right now, it isn't. -Not right now. - 现在不是了 - 现在不是

　　[02:15.62]Come on, Larry. l watched your show for years. 拜托,赖瑞 我看你的节目很多年了

　　[02:18.66]You used to be this cool, confident cat. 你以前是那么威风凛凛

　　[02:21.58]What the hell happened to you? 你是怎么回事?

　　[02:22.14]And you, Georgia. l mean, this one's no dumb bunny. 还有你,乔雅 这位可不是没脑袋的笨女人

　　[02:28.34]The only way she was getting off the weekend shift... 她知道唯一往上爬的方法

　　[02:29.62]...was by hooking up with you. 就是钓上你这个金龟婿

　　[02:29.78]Then, lo and behold, she became more popular than you did. 之后,她变得比你更有人气了

　　[02:33.70]Ended up with twice your salary. 领的钱还多你两倍

　　[02:35.18]-Camera 2, two-shot. -Come on, Larry, take him down. - 二号摄影机,拍两人表情 - 快啊,赖瑞,撂倒他

　　[02:39.86]Hold on, pal. l am very proud of my wife's success. 等等,我为我老婆的成功骄傲

　　[02:41.62]Baloney, you are. You hate her success. 骄傲个头啦,你恨死她的成功

　　[02:46.30]You feel emasculated by her. 她让你觉得自己没骨气

　　[02:47.38]And that screws with your head. 这搞得你满脑子乌烟瘴气的

　　[02:51.38]Which, in turn, screws with your manhood. 结果也害你成了不举男

　　[02:53.58]What's your point? 你的重点是什么?

　　[02:55.38]-Yes, Georgia, take control. -My point, Georgia.... - 对,乔雅,掌控情势 - 乔雅,我的重点是…

　　[02:57.14]My point is that your husband... 你丈夫有一阵子

　　[02:59.50]...hasn't had sex with you in... 没碰你了

　　[03:02.98]...l'm gonna say, what, three months? 我敢说,有三个月了

　　[03:05.78]-Chadway, that is not my fault. -l know. - 麦克,那不是我的错 - 我知道

　　[03:10.38]-l mean, come on. -l know, l know. lt's her fault. - 你嘛帮帮忙! - 我知道,是她的错

　　[03:10.78]Why is it my fault? What am l supposed to do? 怎么是我的错?

　　[03:14.54]Say no to the money so he can get an erection? 难道我该拒绝高薪让他硬起来?

　　[03:18.42]She just said ''erection'' on television. 她在主播台上说〝硬起来〞

　　[03:20.42]-Other networks do it. -They're talking about erections. - 其它电视台也一样,没什么啦 - 他们在谈软硬的问题

　　[03:22.50]They say ''erection'' on Sesame Street. 幼幼台也会说〝硬起来〞啊

　　[03:24.26]-l agree. -Thank you. - 我同意 - 谢谢

　　[03:25.30]You've economically emasculated your husband... 你在经济上让你老公去势

　　[03:28.94]...to such a point that he's afraid to want you. 因此他害怕上你

　　[03:32.42]l mean, sure, you could dump his ass... 当然,你可以甩了他

　　[03:34.42]...but, honey, have you seen the eligible men in Sacramento? Oh, God. 不过你看过这里的好男人没? 阿娘偎…

　　[03:37.50]lt's slim pickings for a woman in her 40s, l can tell you. 四十岁的女人选择可不多

　　[03:41.46]Forties? 四十岁?

　　[03:43.38]-Oh, God. -Hold that shot with Georgia and Mike. - 喔,天啊 - 继续拍乔雅和麦克

　　[03:45.62]He just talked about her age. 他竟敢谈她的年龄

　　[03:47.46]-She's gonna kill me. -Well.... - 她会宰了我 - 这个嘛…

　　[03:50.54]-Forty? -l mean, you ain't gonna do... - 四十岁? - 你找不到…

　　[03:52.42]...any better than Larry. 比赖瑞更好的伴了

　　[03:52.98]You just have to let him be a man. 你必须让他当男子汉

　　[03:57.46]-Let him be a man, Georgia. -l let him be a man. - 让他当男子汉,乔雅 - 我让他当男子汉

　　[04:01.18]-You have to let me be a man. -l have tried. - 你得让我当男子汉 - 我试过…

　　[04:01.26]-Let him be a man. -You have to let me. - 让你当男子汉 - 你得让我当男子汉

　　[04:03.26]Simple as that. Now, you, Frowny McFlaccid, come on. 就这么简单 好了,不举男,上啊

　　[04:07.10]-Oh, God. -Camera 1 , ready for a three-shot. - 我的妈呀 - 一号机,准备特写这三个人

　　[04:09.58]-l'm not frowny. -Yes, you are. - 我才没有不举 - 你就是

　　[04:12.10]Move in here and give this beautiful woman a kiss. 过来给这位美女一个热吻

　　[04:16.26]-God. This is ridiculous. -McFlaccid? - 天啊,太离谱了 - 不举?

　　[04:18.26]-That mean what l think it means? -Yes. Kiss her. - 你真认为我不举? - 对,就是,吻她

　　[04:19.26]-No. They're not gonna-- -Give it to her, right in front of me. - 不…他们不会 - 在我面前吻她

　　[04:22.94]-And in front of them. -Let me-- - 也在大众面前 - 让我…

　　[04:23.62]Goddamn it, Georgia, let me be a man. 该死,乔雅,让我当男子汉

　　[04:26.10]-No! -Zoom in on that, 2. Zoom in. - 不会吧 - 特写,二号机特写

　　[04:29.66]America doesn't want to see this. 观众不会想看这个的

　　[04:30.86]And that, my friends, is the ugly truth. 朋友,这就是挖出来的真相

　　[04:36.54]Get ready to roll to break. Ready to roll-- 准备进广告

　　[04:36.86]Oh, you are a man. He is a man. Break. 你真是个男子汉 他是男子汉,麦克

　　[04:40.14]Cut to commercial! 进广告

　　[04:43.22]-Cut to commercial! -That was great! Wasn't that great? - 快进广告! - 真是太赞了!很赞吧?

　　[04:46.26]l told you that guy was great. 我就说那家伙很行的

　　[04:47.18]Good job, everybody. 干得好,各位

　　[04:52.58]Abby? 艾比?

　　[04:56.74]Found her. 找到了

　　[04:57.82]One-thousand, one hundred and forty-three calls... 一千一百四十三通电话

　　[04:59.22]...over 300 e-mails, 53 percent of them were women. 超过三百封电子邮件 其中百分之五十三是女性