Keep Your Cool

　　冷静冷静冷静

　　Staying calm in the face of an irate boss or a dissatisfied customer is easier said than done, but it's the most important thing you can do when a conflict arises. When others get worked up, take a deep breath, go to your happy place, and resist the urge to join the fray。

　　面对暴怒的老板或不满的客户要保持冷静，的确是说起来容易做起来难。不过，在冲突发生的时候，最重要的事就是要保持冷静。当别人对你大吼大叫的时候，你可以深呼吸，去能使你高兴的地方，避免与对方起争执。

　　Clarify the Problem

　　辨明问题

　　When things get heated, it’s easy to lose sight of what caused the conflict in the first place. If a discussion with a co-worker seems to be going in circles, try to pinpoint exactly what the issue is. Although you may feel like you’re channeling your therapist, repeating the problem aloud as you see it can help to resolve the issue: "So to clarify, you feel that I took too much credit for your idea. Am I understanding correctly?"

　　当争论变得白热化的时候，人们很容易忘记当初是什么原因导致问题的发生。如果你和同事在一个问题上争论不清的话，你可以试着指出问题的症结所在。你可以像治疗师那样大声地重复一遍问题来理清思路，比如这样询问对方“也就是说，你认为我把你的点子归功于自己了，我这样理解对吗？”

　　Put Yourself in Their Shoes

　　换位思考

　　An angry response can sometimes seem totally out of the blue. But instead of going on the defensive, try to put yourself in the other person's position: could your client or boss be having an unusually rough day at work herself? Just because the other person is being irrational doesn’t mean you have to be, and enlisting a little empathy can prevent a full-blown conflict。

　　有时候突然间你就要面对别人的愤怒，这个时候，与其采取防守的姿态，不如换位思考一下：也许你的客户或老板今天正好遇到了烦心事？你不能因为别人的不讲理就让自己也变得不可理喻，多一点理解也许就会化干戈为玉帛了。

　　Call a Timeout

　　请求暂停

　　Sometimes a conflict is impossible to resolve on the spot. You might be too upset to think straight, or you might not have all the information you need to address the problem. Don’t be afraid to call a timeout — ask your boss if you can meet later to continue the discussion, or let your client know you’ll research the issue and call them back. Both parties will have a chance to cool off, and you'll return to the discussion more prepared to find a solution。

　　有时候，问题并不能马上解决。情绪不好也许使你无法思考，或者你没有办法得到所需的全部信息来解决问题。这个时候，不要害怕请求暂停，你可以告诉老板你过一会儿再来和她探讨这个问题，或者和客户说这个问题你要再研究一下，稍后给他们回电。愤怒的时候，双方都需要有段时间来冷静，暂停之后，你可以更有准备地去面对问题、讨论解决方案。

　　Move Forward

　　向前看

　　Whatever the issue, make sure your discussion is solution-oriented. After you've both had a chance to make your case, shift the focus of the conversation to what can be done to resolve the problem or prevent it from happening again. At some point you need to accept that you can’t change what caused the conflict, but you can move forward and come to a resolution。

　　无论是什么问题，你要确保你是在寻求解决问题的方案。在双方各抒己见之后，你们的谈话就应该转向如何解决问题或者如何防止类似问题再次发生。有时候，你不得不承认有些问题你是无法改变的，但你可以向前看，找到解决的方法。