不要完全依赖另一个人，无论他/她有多么珍贵。生活中最大的考验，我们只能独自经历。——加拿大首位女性议员艾格尼丝·麦克菲尔

I have found that the more time I spend alone, the more comfortable I become in my own skin because I can truly get to know myself. This provides me with more patience to accept myself as I am, wherever I am in my journey, on a daily basis.

我发现独处的时间越长，我越觉得舒服、放松和自信，因为这样我可以认识真正的自己。这让我每天都有更多的耐心来接受自己，接受自己在生活旅途中的位置。

This lesson was something I learned after spending a summer alone in Italy with a family friend.

这堂人生课是我独自一人在意大利学到的，当时我在一位世交朋友家里度过了一个夏天。

I embarked on the journey, turning off my phone for the first time, well, probably ever. I would be jetting all over America then landing in a country with a family basically unknown to me.

我踏上旅途，第一次关上了手机，嗯，这么多年来第一次。我在美国上方飞来飞去，然后降落在一个国家，和一家基本上不认识的人生活在一起。

It wasn’t until two years after I returned that I wished I had spent more time living in the moment while experiencing the greatest adventure of my life. I was not comfortable enough in my own skin to truly be present in the magical moments presenting themselves in a foreign country.

直到我回来两年后，我才希望当时要是我能有更多的时间活在当下，经历人生中最大的冒险就好了。当时我不够放松、自信，无法在一个陌生的国家，在那样神奇的时刻，把它们展现出来。

My mind stayed distracted as I wondered what people were thinking of me, and what I would post online to my friends back home.

当我在想我在人们心中是什么样子，当我在想回家后我会在网上发布什么内容时我就会分神。

At 19 years old, it seemed much more important to capture photos to upload to social media. The Internet was a crutch for me to not feel so alone in an unknown territory. As brave as I was to be completely alone in my adventure, I had a thousand people to “connect” with on my lonely nights!

19岁时对我来说，拍摄照片并把它们传到社交媒体上要更为重要。互联网对我来说是个拐杖，能让我在未知的领域中不会感觉到那么孤独。和我独自一人冒险时一样勇敢，在孤独的夜晚，我有一千人可以去“交流”。

Two years later I realized that I could have filled my days with activities for growth.

两年后，我意识到，我可以用有助于自己成长的活动来填满日子。

I now wish I had traveled to nearby cities, spent my days reading in a cafe, tried acupuncture—anything out of the ordinary.

现在我希望我能游遍附近的城市，把时间用在在咖啡馆里阅读、尝试针灸——任何与众不同的东西上。

The truth was I didn’t have the hobbies I have now. The trip did help me grow, but I regret that I could not simply enjoy the moments, instead of wanting thousands of others to see I was enjoying them.

事实上，我现在的爱好以前都没有。旅行确实帮我成长，但我后悔当时我没能享受当下的时光，而是去让成千上万个人看着我在享受。

I discovered that if I want to be happy, it would be my own doing. Happiness is an interior process and comes without validation from others.

我发现如果我想要开心，那是我自己的事情。幸福是内心的过程，不需要得到别人的认可。

This is something that is a lesson to be relearned each day.

这是我每天都要再次重新学习的人生课。

Spending small moments of time alone—sans phone, tablet, laptop, TV, and radio—allows one to really tune in. We need to ask ourselves things like: What is my body telling me today? How do I feel today?

用碎片时间进行独处——关掉手机、平板电脑、笔记本、电视和收音机——允许自己真正地进行调整。我们需要问问自己：我的身体今天告诉我什么？今天感觉如何？

There are all kinds of things we can do to enjoy our alone time, some of them very simple. I enjoy my shower, my yoga practice, and the scenic drive home, all without communication to the exterior world. This helps me to really absorb my practice and just “be.” I find it helpful to journal, old fashion style, with a pen and paper after this little escape.

我们可以做很多事情来享受独处的时光，有些事情非常简单。我喜欢淋浴，喜欢瑜伽练习，喜欢在开车回家的路上看秀丽的风 景，这些都不需要和外部世界联系。这能帮我真正消化自己的所做所为，仅仅安静的待着。我发现在这种小小的消遣之后，用在纸上用笔写日记这样古老的方式很有帮助。

 

 

To truly figure out if you are relying on others, ask yourself: What have I done today, only for myself? Do I need to have my cell phone? Or can I stow it away and just be?

要想真正弄清你是否在依赖他人，你可以问问自己：今天我做了哪些事情，是仅仅为自己而做的吗？我需要带手机吗？还是把它收起来？

You may also want to ask yourself: Am I taking a photo so I can remember this occasion, or so others can see how I spent my hour? Am I updating my social media because I want to, or because I need validation through likes and posts to be happy?

你可能还想问问自己：我现在拍照是为了记住这件事，还是想让他人看看我是怎么度过时光的？我更新社交媒体是因为我想这样做，还是因为我需要别人的“赞”和帖子才会开心？

Lastly, ask: What would happen if I stopped seeking the opinions of others in order to be happy? Would the world still accept me if I spent less time trying to win their approval?

最后，问问自己：如果想要开心，不再关心别人的看法会发生什么事情？如果我花少量的时间来争取他们的认同，世界还会接受我吗？

The only one keeping you away from your true self is you.

唯一能让你远离自己的人就是你自己。

Practice spending an hour a day doing something just for you and keep it a secret. Relish in the fact that this activity is just for you.

练习一下，每天花一个小时，为自己做些事情，并把它作为秘密不告诉别人。享受这项活动是为自己而做的那种乐趣。

Once you grow fond of spending time alone, you can start to increase the amount of time you spend on your “secret” activities. Eventually, your presence in the moment will grow as you stop seeking approval and recognition from others.

一旦你喜欢独处了，可以开始增加“秘密”活动的时间。最终，当你不再寻求别人的赞同和认可后，你活在当下的时刻会越来越多。

I find that when I take a day off and unplug, I emerge fully ready to engage with others with more energy and enjoyment.

我发现当我休息一天、远离电子设备后，我会完全准备好，有更多的经历和乐趣来和他人交往。

When your brain stops worrying about what others think of you, what you should have said or done, you can truly listen to your friends and provide feedback and attention.

当你的大脑不再担心别人对你的看法、你应该说什么、应该做什么之后，你就能够真正地倾听你朋友的声音，并能给他们反馈和关心。

Trust in yourself and feel powerful in the fact you are taking your happiness into your own hands.

相信自己，感受一下把幸福掌握在手中的那种强大的感觉。