5-10 我母亲教我的（在线收听）

What My Mother Taught Me

My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done:

　　"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside I just finished cleaning!"

　　My mother taught me religion:

　　"You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet."

　　My mother taught me about time travel:

　　"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

　　My mother taught me logic:

　　"Because I said so, that's why!"

　　My mother taught me foresight:

　　"Be sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

　　My mother taught me about contortion:

　　"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

　　My mother taught me about stamina:

　　"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

　　My mother taught me about weather:

　　"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

　　My mother taught me how to solve physics problems:

　　"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

　　My mother taught me about hypocrisy:

　　"If I've told you once, I've told you a million -- times don't exaggerate!!!"

　　My mother taught me about envy:

　　"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

我母亲教我的

我母亲教我如何珍惜他人辛苦劳动：

“如果你们要打架，到外边打去--我刚整理好房间！”

我母亲教我什么是宗教：

“你最好祈祷那个东西能从地毯下冒出来。”

我母亲教我什么是时间旅行：

“你要是不改，我把你一把推到下周三！”(意为：不让过周末。)

我母亲教我什么是逻辑：

“为什么？因为我就是这么说的！”

我母亲?我什么是远见：

“一定要穿干净内衣，以防万一你遇到事故。”

我母亲教我什么是柔体杂技：

“你能不能看看你脖子后面的泥！”

我母亲教我什么是耐力：

“坐在那儿，直到把所有的菠菜吃完。”

我母亲教我认识天气：

“好像有龙卷风席卷过你的房间。”

我母亲教我如何解决物理学问题：

“如果我高声叫喊，是因为我看见有一颗流星正朝你俯冲而来，那你会不会听我的话？”

我母亲教我什么是伪善：

“如果我曾告诉过你一次，我实际上已告诉过你百万次——不许夸张!!!”

我母亲教我什么是嫉妒：

“这世界上有数百万不幸的孩子，他们可没有你这么好的父母。”