2010年ESL之就医和人际交往 03 Being a Strict Parent（打印版）

2010年ESL之就医和人际交往 03 Being a Strict Parent（在线收听）

03 Being a Strict Parent

GLOSSARY

to spoil (someone) rotten – to do many nice things for the enjoyment of anotherperson, and especially a child, avoiding rules or anything negative

* Her aunt spoils her rotten, always buying her candy, ice cream, toys, and newclothes.

strict – always following the rules and insisting that other people follow the rules,without making any exceptions for special circumstances

* The company has a strict policy against stealing and any employee who iscaught stealing will be fired immediately, without warning.

structured – with a lot of organization, form, and shape, without flexibility andwithout changing

* His mornings are very structured: he wakes up at 6:45, showers and dressesfrom 6:50 to 7:05, eats breakfast at 7:10, and leaves the house by 7:30.

regimented – with defined order and discipline; not changing

* Would you want to send your children to a highly regimented boarding school?

frivolous – having fun and being silly, without being serious or important

* Normally, Piotr reads historical fiction and biographies, but every once in awhile he enjoys reading more frivolous novels, too.

to take off the shackles – to remove certain restrictions or limitations; literally toremove the heavy pieces of metal put on a prisoner’s ankles and wrists so thathe or she cannot escape

* When Victoria moved out of her parents’ home, she felt like she was finallytaking off the shackles and could enjoy her independence.

to miss out on – to not be able to enjoy or participate in something; to miss anopportunity

* Some people believe that college students who live at home miss out on a lot ofthe fun things that happen on campus.

overprotective – caring for someone too much, not letting him or her experiencethings because one wants to protect him or her

* Flo’s parents are really overprotective and never let her go anywhere unlessone of them is with her.

curfew – the time when someone must be at home and after which one is notallowed to be outside

* Their teenage sons have a 9:00 curfew on weeknights and an 11:30 curfew onthe weekends.

punishment – something that is used to make another person suffer or beuncomfortable for having done something wrong

* As a punishment for what you’ve done, you won’t be allowed to watch TV or goout with your friends for one week.

to misbehave – to do something that one knows is wrong; to break the rules

* Some children misbehave to try to get more attention from their parents.

to toe the line – to follow the rules and do what is expected

* The military believes that soldiers must be trained to always toe the line and dowhatever they are told.

privilege – a special right; and advantage; something that one gets to dobecause of who one is or what one has done

* They told their teenage son that driving a car was a privilege that could betaken away if he began driving irresponsibly.

free spirit – a person who does what he or she wants to do, without worryingabout the rules, or without worrying about what other people might think

* Tilde has always been a free spirit, wearing whatever she wants to wear, evenif other people think her clothes are strange.

uptight – worried and anxious; not relaxed

* Mordechai is so uptight about everything! I guess he has been under a lot ofstress at work lately.

beats me – an informal phrase used to show that one does not know the answerto something

* - What will the weather be like tomorrow?

* - Beats me! I haven’t looked at the weather report yet.

a thing or two – a lot; many things, especially when talking about how much aperson knows about something

* Eldon can tell you a thing or two about what it’s like to grow up overseas. Hespent most of his childhood in Africa and Asia.

COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS

1. What might you expect a strict parent to do?

a) To be overprotective.

b) To take off the shackles.

c) To give out a lot of privileges.

2. Why does Ola refer to Allison as a free spirit?

a) Because she has a lot of money.

b) Because she lets her granddaughter drink alcohol.

c) Because she doesn’t worry about the rules.

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WHAT ELSE DOES IT MEAN?

structured

The word “structured,” in this podcast, means with a lot of organization, form, andshape, without flexibility and without changing: “His presentation was so highlystructured that nobody felt comfortable interrupting to ask questions.” Or, “At thispreschool, the children are involved in structured activities all day long, with notime for free play.” A “structure” is also a building or something else made frommany smaller parts: “Have you seen the new structure they’re building on thecorner of Fourth Street and Madison Avenue?” Or, “Archeologists discoveredsome ancient stone structures buried beneath the earth.” Finally, “structure” canmean organization, especially when talking about how the parts of a poem, book,or film are tied together: “I really like the ideas in your essay, but they need betterstructure.”

to miss out on (something)

In this podcast, the phrase “to miss out on (something)” means to not be able toenjoy or participate in something, or to miss an opportunity: “Ulun missed out onhis son’s soccer game because he had to stay at the office and work late.” Thephrase “to not miss a trick” means for someone to seize or take advantage ofevery opportunity: “Cadence never misses a trick! I guess that’s why she wasable to become wealthy at such a young age.” The phrase “to miss the boat”

means to not be able to do something, usually because one has arrived too lateor because one was born too late: “I missed the boat, because I thought the saleended tomorrow, but it actually ended yesterday.”

CULTURE NOTE

In the past, American parents “tended to be” (were often) much stricter than theyare today. Many of the old parenting rules seem “old-fashioned” (out of date; oldand no longer applicable) by today’s “standards” (the way in which things aremeasured or assessed).

For example, in the past, teenagers who wanted to “date” (spend time with amember of the opposite sex due to romantic interest) would have to be with a“chaperone” the entire time. A “chaperone” is an adult whose job is to watchwhat the two young people do and make sure that there is no inappropriatebehavior. Today, however, most parents allow their teenage children to go outon dates without a chaperone as long as they know where the teenagers aregoing and when they’ll be back.

In the past, parents often repeated two phrases: “children should be seen andnot heard,” and “speak only when spoken to.” These both mean that childrenshouldn’t “volunteer” (offer) information unless they are asked a direct question.

For example, if people were eating a meal together, in the past, the children wereexpected to sit “at the table” (around the table) without saying anything unlesssomeone asked them a question. Today, most parents enjoy hearing theirchildren participate in conversations, sharing their opinions or just telling adultsabout their life.

Finally, in the past, most adults insisted that children “addressed” (called) adultsas “sir” or “ma’am,” or used “Mrs.” or “Mr.” with the adult’s last name. This is stilltrue for some parents, but other parents “prefer” (like more) to let their childrenaddress adults by their first name.

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Comprehension Questions Correct Answers: 1 – a; 2 – c

COMPLETE TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 558: Being a StrictParent.

This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 558. I’m your host, Dr.

Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development inbeautiful Los Angeles, California.

Visit our website at eslpod.com. Download a Learning Guide for this episode.

The Learning Guides are designed for each of our current episodes to help youimprove your English even faster. You can take a look at a sample LearningGuide before becoming a member of ESL Podcast by going to our website.

This episode is called “Being a Strict Parent.” It’s a dialogue between Allison andOla, and you’re going to learn about this particular parent and all of the rules thatshe wants her daughter to follow. Let’s get started.

[start of dialogue]

Allison: I’m almost ready for my granddaughter’s visit. She’ll be here tomorrowand I want everything to be perfect.

Ola: What do you have planned?

Allison: I’m going to spoil her rotten. My daughter is very strict and doesn’t allowher to do anything that a normal 10-year-old wants to do.

Ola: Like what?

Allison: Well, her time is very structured and regimented. She’s never allowedany time for just frivolous fun.

Ola: And you’re taking off the shackles.

Allison: That’s right. She can play as much as she wants to for the next week. Idon’t want her to miss out on any experiences just because her mother isoverprotective. There will be no curfews and no time schedules.

Ola: Are you sure that’s a good idea? I’m sure your daughter has instructionsabout how your granddaughter should behave and the punishments she shouldget if she misbehaves.

Allison: You’re right about that. I’m expecting a long list of rules for mygranddaughter while she’s here, but she shouldn’t expect me to toe the line. I’mthe grandmother after all, so I have special privileges. Nobody tells me what todo with my own granddaughter.

Ola: How did a free spirit like you end up with a daughter who is so uptight?

Allison: Beats me.

Ola: She’s not going to thank you for spoiling her daughter, you know.

Allison: I know, but I’m her mother and there’s still a thing or two I can teach herabout raising a daughter!

[end of dialogue]

Allison begins our dialogue by saying, “I’m almost ready for my granddaughter’svisit.” Her “granddaughter” would, of course, be the daughter of either her son ordaughter. “She’ll be here tomorrow and I want everything to be perfect.” Olasays, “What do you have planned?” Allison replies, “I’m going to spoil herrotten.” “To spoil (spoil) (someone) rotten (rotten)” means to do something nicefor another person, especially a child, never doing anything negative, neveryelling at them, always doing nice things for them, giving them whatever theywant for example. Most parents try not to “spoil their children,” meaning theydon’t want their children to get used to getting good things all the time, and thenwhen they don’t get good things they don’t “behave,” or they don’t actappropriately. This expression actually can also refer to vegetables or fruit ormeat, any type of food that after a few days will begin to go bad so that you can’teat it anymore. When food spoils, we say that it has become rotten. That meansit’s no longer something you can eat because it’s gone badAllison says, “I’m going to spoil my granddaughter rotten. My daughter is verystrict and doesn’t allow her to do anything that a normal 10-year-old wants to do.”

“To be strict” means to insist that someone follow all of the rules, without makingany exceptions. You must do everything according to the rules. So, a strictparent is someone who has a lot of rules for their children, and expects them tofollow all of these rules.

Ola says, “Like what?” meaning give me an example of one of these rules.

Allison says, “Well, her time is very structured and regimented.” To saysomething is “structured” means that it has a lot of organization, it’s very organized, it can’t be changed. We might say it’s “inflexible,” you can’t change it.

“Structure” has a couple of different meanings in English however. You can getthe other meanings by going to our website and downloading the Learning Guidefor this episode. “Regimented” means with a definite order, a definite discipline,almost like the military – almost like the army. In fact, the word “regiment” canalso mean a group of soldiers. Here, it simply means very ordered, verydisciplined, not changing.

Allison says her granddaughter is never allowed any time for just frivolous fun.

Something that is “frivolous” (frivolous) is something just for fun, something thatisn’t serious, something that has no important meaning. Sometimes, “frivolous”

can be a criticism, meaning someone isn’t very serious; they don’t take anythingseriously. Here, it just means fun, just to have fun, no educational or otherpurposes for it.

Ola says, “And you’re taking off the shackles.” “To take off” is a phrasal verbmeaning to remove. “Shackles” are, literally, heavy pieces of metal that you putaround someone in prison, on their arms and sometimes on their legs. So“shackles” would be something that would put on a prisoner – someone in jail.

Here, the expression means to remove restrictions or limitations. “To take off theshackles” doesn’t mean that her granddaughter is actually wearing shackles – wehope not! It means that the grandmother wants to remove these rules and strictregulations that her granddaughter has to follow from her mother. This, ofcourse, is what grandparents often do. When they have their grandchildren over,they feel they can be as nice to them – not have to discipline them, because,after all, that’s the job of the parent. I never knew my grandmother, so I don’tknow if that’s true. They were dead by the time I was old enough to know whothey were.

In this dialogue Allison says that she’s going to take off the shackles from hergranddaughter. She says, “She can play as much as she wants to for the nextweek. I don’t want her to miss out on any experiences.” “To miss out on(something)” is a phrasal verb meaning not to be able to enjoy or participate insomething, to miss an opportunity. “Don’t miss out on seeing the movietomorrow.” That means don’t miss the opportunity, when you have it, to do thatthing. “Miss” is a verb that has several different meanings also. You know whereyou can find those, in this episode’s Learning Guide.

Allison says she doesn’t want her granddaughter to miss out on any experiencesjust because, or only because, her mother is overprotective. Someone who is“protective” tries to keep someone else safe. But to be “overprotective” meansthat you’re trying to protect them so much that you are taking away their legitimate freedom. You’re not allowing them to live a normal life because you’reprotecting them too much. Sometimes parents can be overprotective of theirchildren; husbands may be overprotective of their wives. In this case, Allison issaying that the mother of her granddaughter – her daughter – is overprotective.

Allison says, “There will be no curfews or no time schedules.” A “curfew”

(curfew) is the time when someone, usually a child or a young adult, must behome, and after which they cannot go outside again. Some places have officialcurfews, saying that anyone who is less than 18 years old, for example, must beat home or with one of their parents. Usually parents have curfews for their highschool children, telling them they need to be home before, say, 11:00 at night, or10:00 at night on days when there is school. Those are curfews. Governmentssometimes, when there is a lot of violence in a particular place, will have acurfew. My parents never gave me a curfew. I think they expected that I wouldbehave myself and not get into trouble and be home at a reasonable time. Ihave, however, lived under one case of a curfew from the government. In 1992,after the “riots,” the violent actions of some people after a certain court case hadfinished – the riots caused the police here to issue a curfew. You could not beout on the street after the sun went down. That lasted, I think, for about a weekor so. I wasn’t actually living in the City of Los Angeles at the time, so it didn’taffect me very much. That’s quite unusual, however, for the government to“impose,” or to tell people they have to “abide,” or follow, a curfew.

Well, Allison will have no curfews for her granddaughter. Ola says, “Are you surethat’s a good idea? I’m sure your daughter has instructions about how yourgranddaughter should behave (should act) and the punishments she should get ifshe misbehaves.” A “punishment” is something you make someone do if they’vedone something wrong. If you commit a crime the government will give you, forexample, a punishment of going to prison for a year. “To misbehave” is theopposite of to behave; “to behave” means to act properly, act appropriately. “Tomisbehave” means to do things wrong. We use this word in talking aboutchildren: “The children are misbehaving.” My neighbor’s children aremisbehaving every day, right outside my window!

Allison says, “You’re right about that (you’re right about my daughter havingthese punishments). I’m expecting a long list of rules for my granddaughter whileshe’s here, but she shouldn’t expect me to toe (toe) the line.” “To toe the line”

means to follow the rules, to do what you are told to do. Allison says, “I’m thegrandmother after all, and I have special privileges (special rights, specialadvantages because of who I am).” In other words, grandmothers can do whatthey want with their grandchildren. “Nobody tells me what to do with my owngranddaughter.”

Ola said, “How did a free spirit like you end up with a daughter who is souptight?” A “free spirit” is someone who does whatever they want to do, whodoesn’t follow the rules, who doesn’t care what other people think. “Uptight” isthe opposite. “Uptight” (uptight – one word) means to be very worried, anxious,not relaxed. “Uptight” is really an insulting term, it’s a negative way to describesomeone. Just because a parent has rules, doesn’t mean they’re uptight, butOla uses the word to describe Allison’s daughter.

Allison answers his question, “Beats me.” The expression “beats (beats) me” isan informal one used to show that you don’t know the answer to something.

Someone says, “What time is it?” If you don’t know, you could say, “Beats me, Idon’t know.”

Ola says that Allison’s daughter is not going to thank you for spoiling herdaughter. Allison says, “I know, but I’m her mother and there’s still a thing or twoI can teach her about raising a daughter!” When somebody uses the expression“a thing or two,” they mean many things, especially when you’re talking abouthow much a person knows about something. Someone says, “Do you knowabout iTunes or podcasting?” and if you do, you could say, “I know a thing ortwo,” meaning you probably know a lot about it.

Now let’s listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.