Manners Matter

 

By Karen Herzog /

©2005 Milwaukee Journal Sentinel,

Knight Ridder Newspaper.

Distributed by Tribune Media Services International

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Table manners aren’t child’s play. Children who don’t learn to wait their turn for the potatoes or to chew with their mouths closed may face challenges later in life—especially in their careers.

 

“The number one reason people lose a job is they don’t ‘play’ well with others,” said Mary Spencer, director of placement at the Milwaukee School of Engineering (MSOE). Three times a year, the school offers etiquette and interpersonal skills workshops for students preparing for job interviews.

 

Lunch or dinner is often part of job interviews. The prospective employer not only takes note of what the candidate says, but also how he or she handles details of dinner — from selecting menu items to finessing conversation, Spencer said.

 

“Table manners are considered shorthand for other aspects of etiquette,” said Margery Sinclair who teaches etiquette classes for both children and business clients. “If table manners are fine, the rest of their social skills are considered good as well. Etiquette refers to all of the rules governing behavior. Manners refers to one’s personal behavior.”

 

A lifelong advantage

 

If children develop good manners, they grow up with respect and consideration for others, Sinclair said, and tend to have more friends. “Children who grow up with a knowledge of etiquette have a lifelong advantage.”

 

Spencer said MSOE started offering its workshops on etiquette after getting feedback from business owners and students about skills that needed honing, such as “what to wear to an interview and how to handle dinner.”

 

“Students ate pizza and hamburgers for four years and all of the sudden, they were confronted with multiple forks and questions such as, ‘Who orders … do you crush the crackers for soup, which fork do I use first, and can I eat the flower on my plate?’ ” Spencer said.

Vocabulary Focus

child’s play (n) something that is simple to do

finesse (v) [fi5nes] to deal with a situation or a person with great skill or style

hone (v) [hEun] to make something perfect or completely suitable for its purpose

confront (v) [kEn5frQnt] to face, meet or deal with something, especially a difficult or unfamiliar situation or person

 

Specialized Terms

placement (n) 就业辅导 the assigning of students to a particular program or class or helping students, especially graduating seniors, obtain jobs

interpersonal skills (n) 人际关系技巧 the abilities needed to relate well with other people

shorthand (n) 速记；缩影 a short, simple reference which is used instead of a longer form

礼节关系重大

杨嘉倩  译

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餐桌礼仪可不是儿戏。

没有学会耐心等待轮到自己才能拿马铃薯，或者咀嚼食物时不可张嘴的孩子们，可能会在长大后面对一些挑战，尤其是在事业上。

“一般人丢工作的最大原因是无法跟其它人融洽相处。”密尔沃基工学院的就业辅导中心主任玛丽·斯宾塞这么说。校方每年为准备参加面试的学生举办3次礼仪与人际关系技巧的研习课程。

面试经常包括共进午餐或晚餐。斯宾塞表示，未来的雇主不只会注意应试者说了什么，也会注意他们如何处理晚餐的一些细节，包括从菜单的选择到谈话应对是否巧妙。

“餐桌礼节被视为是洞察其它方面礼仪表现的缩影。”教授孩童及商业客户礼仪班的老师玛杰里·辛克莱这么说：“如果餐桌礼仪良好，那么其它的社交礼仪也应该没有问题。礼仪意指所有操控行为的准则。礼节谈的是个人行为。”

 

跟随一生的优势

辛克莱表示，如果孩子能培养出良好的仪态，长大后会尊重他人及替他人着想，也较会拥有比较多的朋友。“从小就被教授礼仪常识的孩子，他所拥有的优势会跟随他一辈子。”

斯宾塞表示，密尔沃基工学院因为一些公司老板和学生反映说有些技能需要磨练，从而开始举办礼仪训练的研习课程。这些技能包括“面试时的穿着及用餐时的应对”。

斯宾塞又说：“学生们吃了4年的比萨和汉堡，突然间却得面对一堆叉子和一些问题像‘谁该点菜……可不可以把饼干压碎放在汤里？我要从哪一只叉子用起？盘子上的花可以吃吗’？”