Manners Matter

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Both for kids and adults

 

Stressing table manners from childhood through adulthood sounds a bit old-fashioned, but it’s part of the lifelong pursuit of happiness, according to both those who teach etiquette and the professionals who validate its importance.

 

Sinclair started teaching children’s etiquette about 15 years ago. “Parents are so glad I’m doing something like this,” she said. “I’m not doing anything that can’t be taught at home, but it’s independent validation of what is taught at home.”

 

That’s why Kelly and Chris Kluck enrolled their 8-year-old son, Andrew, in a recent etiquette class. “Now that he’s taken the class, he tries to help us learn things we didn’t know,” such as the difference between European and Americanstyle eating, Kelly Kluck said. “And as we were leaving his class, he told us what we should do with our napkins as we left the table.”

 

For those who don’t know, Americans switch the fork from their left hand — used during cutting — to their right hand to actually eat, while Europeans stick with the left hand for both cutting and eating. As for the napkin, it is left on the chair if you’re planning to return to the table, but placed on the table if you’re leaving the table for good.

 

“I think it’s all part of having good social graces, and it helps him build respect for others, be kind to others and learn proper eye contact,” Kluck said. “This is one more layer in helping our son grow into a good person who can be productive.”

 

Years ago, parents started asking Sinclair whether she offered classes for grown-ups. Now she mainly teaches adults through corporate etiquette dinners.

 

“Etiquette is coachable,” Sinclair said. “It’s very sad when someone deserves a promotion based on work skills, but doesn’t get it because they lack social skills.”

Vocabulary Focus

validate (v) [5vAlideit] to make something acceptable or approved, especially after examining it

productive (adj) [prE5dQktiv] able to be useful or to contribute effectively

coachable (adj) [kEutFEbl] relating to something that can be taught or to someone who can be trained or directed

礼节关系重大

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孩子与成人同样受用

从小到大都强调礼仪听起来似乎有点老古板，不过根据教授礼仪课程的老师和证实了礼仪重要性的专业人士的说法，礼仪是人们一辈子所追求的幸福快乐的一部分。

辛克莱大约15年前开始教授儿童礼仪。“做父母的都很高兴我在教这个，”她说：“我并不是教什么家里不能教的东西，而只是客观确认了家中所教的内容。”

这也是凯莉和克里斯·克拉克替8岁儿子安德鲁报名参加最近一期礼仪课的原因。“上了课之后，他试着帮助我们学一些我们以前不知道的事，”凯莉说，例如欧式与美式用餐的差异。“当我们上完安德鲁的课准备离开时，他告诉我们离开餐桌时应该如何处理餐巾。”

如果你还不知道，以下的信息与你分享。美国人切食物时用左手握叉子，实际吃的时候却换到右手握叉子。欧洲人则不管在切或吃的时候都是使用左手握叉子。至于餐巾，若你离开餐桌但还要再回来，应该留在椅子上。但如果你不再回到餐桌，就应该把餐巾留在桌上。

“我认为这些都是培养良好社交风度的一部分，能帮安德鲁建立对他人的尊重、宽以待人，并学会适当的眼神接触，”克拉克说：“这是能让我们的儿子成长为一个有用的好人的另一个层面。”

多年前，许多父母就询问辛克莱是否也为成人开课。现在她主要是用集体的礼仪晚餐来教导成人礼仪。

“礼仪是可以训练的，”辛克莱说：“若有人因工作表现应该升迁，却由于缺乏社交技巧而错失良机的话，是很令人惋惜的。”