彭蒙惠英语：The Languages of Love（在线收听）

The Languages of Love

By Rachel Sawatzky

Learn to “speak and understand the unique languages of love

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It’s no secret that the desire to feel loved is a primary human need. Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another person. But giving and receiving love takes many forms. When do you most feel loved? One person may feel loved when given an expensive gift; another person may feel loved when hugged. Still another person may feel loved when encouraged through verbal compliments.

Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, says that all human beings express and receive love in different ways. He defines these as the five languages of love and gives his readers practical ways to show love creatively. Once you learn a person’s primary love language—the way they most feel loved—you will be able to express heartfelt love to that person in a way they can understand. Love is a choice. Some ways of showing love may not come naturally, but if you want to meet someone’s emotional needs, you need to learn to “speak” their unique love language by showing them love in a way that is most meaningful for them.

Start with your family. Each person in your family has unique needs and desires. Ask your family members to identify their predominant love language. Then begin to “speak” their language.

Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation

Encouragement takes many forms. One way to affirm a loved one is through verbal compliments. All of us have areas of insecurity. Some people, however, need more encouragement than others. Speaking this love language requires empathy and the ability to see the world from the other person’s perspective. If a person’s love language is words of affirmation, your sincere verbal compliments can have a dramatic positive effect on that person. Never underestimate the power of an aptly spoken word.

Love Language #2: Quality Time

Giving someone “quality time” means giving this person your undivided attention. Make yourself available to listen to him exclusively or participate in activities he enjoys. The purpose of quality time is to experience something together. If a person’s primary love language is quality time, you may need to sacrifice your own desires to be available to that person.