女人能了解这些规则多好啊！

　　1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.

　　1. 如果你们认为自己胖了，那么你们也许就是胖了，不要来问我们，我们拒绝回答。

　　2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, Put it down.

　　2. 学会使用马桶坐垫，如果坐垫抬起来了，自己放下来吧。

　　3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.

　　3. 不要剪头发，永远不要。长头发总是比短头发有魅力。男人们害怕结婚的一个重要因素就是已婚女人总会剪短头发，然后你就不得不和她粘在一起了。

　　4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present!

　　4. 生日、情人节和纪念日并不是用来考察我们能否找到完美的礼物的！

　　5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you do not want to hear.

　　5. 如果你问一个不需要答案的问题，就等着听一个你不想要的回答吧。

　　6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

　　6. 我们有时不会想到你们，忍一忍吧。

　　7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

　　7. 不要问我们在想什么，除非你们想一起讨论橄榄球或巨型卡车。

　　8. Sunday=sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

　　8. 星期天就是运动时间，就像是满月或潮汐。你别想改变什么。

　　9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

　　9. 逛街不是运动，不，我们永远都不会那么想。

　　10. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

　　10. 你穿什么都好看，真的。

　　11. You have enough clothes.

　　11. 你的衣服足够多了。

　　12. You have too many shoes.

　　12. 你的鞋子太多了。

　　13. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.

　　13. 哭是一种胁迫方式，你可以在必要的时候使用，可别指望我们会喜欢。

　　14. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

　　14. 你的前任男友是个白痴。

　　15. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

　　15. 你们想要什么就直说！隐晦的暗示没用，强烈的暗示没用，明显的暗示也没用，就直说吧！

　　16. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

　　16. “是”和“不是”几乎能够回答所有的问题。

　　17. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

　　17. 带着你想要解决的问题来找我们，我们能做的是解决它。如果你们想要同情和安慰，去找你们的女朋友。

　　18. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

　　18. 持续了17个月的头痛是个大问题，去看医生。

　　19. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

　　19. 外国的电影最好留给外国人看吧。

　　20. Check your oil.

　　20. 检查你的油箱。

　　21. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

　　21. 穿着魔术胸衣和低胸上衣的女人们没权利抱怨我们盯着她们的胸部看。

　　22. More women should wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses. We like staring at boobs.

　　22. 应该有更多的女人穿上魔术胸衣和低胸上衣，我们喜欢看她们。

　　23. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

　　23. 我们的关系永远不可能再像我们刚开始约会的两个月时那样了。

　　24. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

　　24. 啤酒会让我们兴奋就像你们见到新手袋一样。

　　25. If it is OUR house, I do not understand why MY stuff gets thrown in the closet or attic or basement.

　　25. 如果这是我们的房子，我就不明白为什么我的东西要被扔进抽屉、阁楼或是地下室里。

　　26. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

　　26. 我们不能看透别人的心思，而且以后也不会。我们没有这种能力并不能说明我们不关心你们。

　　27. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

　　27. 如果我们问你们怎么啦，而你们回答“没事”，那我们就会装作没事的样子。我们知道你们在说谎，只是没必要为这个争论一番。

　　28. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.

　　28. 处理掉你的猫。不，这都一样，它和别的猫没什么两样。

　　29. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

　　29. 狗就是比哪种猫都好。

　　30. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.

　　30. 你妈妈没必要成为我们最好的朋友。

　　31. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

　　31. 如果25条规定就足够了，那就不要给我们50条。

　　32. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty, and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.

　　32. 告诉我们杂志上那些模特的身材都是用电脑修出来的不但使你们显得嫉妒又小气，而且也不会吓得我们不再看那些杂志。

　　33. Never buy a "new" brand of beer because "it was on sale."

　　33. 不要仅仅因为“特卖”就买回来一种没听说过的啤酒。

　　34. If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it.

　　34. 房间里的电视开着而我们人在后院里并不意味着我们没在看电视。

　　35. Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one.

　　35. 不要告诉别人我们买不起新车，要说我们不想买。

　　36. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

　　36. 你不开车的时候就不要指手画脚了。

　　37. When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple "Yes" is fine.

　　37. 服务生来问意见时，只要简单地说“好”就行了。