Love is a power which produces love
Love is an activity, not a passive affect; it is a "standing in", not a "falling for".
In the most general way, the active character of love can be described by stating that love is primarily giving, not receiving. The most important sphere of giving, however, is not that of material things, but lies in the specifically human realm.
What does one person give to another? He gives of himself, of the most precious thing he has, he gives of his life. This does not necessarily mean that he sacrifices his life for the other—but that he gives him of that which is alive in him; he gives him of his joy, of his understanding, of his knowledge, of his humor, of his sadness—of all expressions and manifestations of that which is alive In him. In thus giving of his life, he enriches the other person, he enhances the other's sense of aliveness by enhancing his own sense of aliveness. He does not give in order to receive; giving is in itself exquisite joy. But in giving he cannot help bringing something to life in the other person, and this which is brought to life reflects back to him; in truly giving, he cannot help receiving that which is given back to him. Giving implies to make the other person a giver also and they both share in the joy of what they have brought to life, in the act of giving, something is born, and both persons involved are grateful for the life that is born for both of them.
Specifically with regard to love this means: love is a power which produces love; impotence is the inability to produce love, this thought has been beautifully expressed by Marx: "Assume," he says, "man as man, and his relation to the world as a human one, and you can exchange love only for love, confidence for confidence, etc. If you wish to enjoy art, you must be a person who has a really stimulating and furthering influence on other people. Every one of your relationships to man and to nature must be a definite expression of your real, individual life corresponding to the object of your will. If you love without calling forth love, that is, if your love as such does not produce love, if by means of an expression of life as a living person you do not make of yourself a loved person, then your love is impotent, a misfortune."
爱是一种积极的活动，并不是一种被动的情感；它是主动地“站进去”的活动，而不是盲目地“沉迷上”的情感。
如果用最通常的方式来描述爱的主动特征，那么，它主要是给予可不是获取。 然而，给予最重要的意义并不在于物质方面，而尤其在于人性方面。
一个人给予另一个人什么东西呢?他把他自己给予别人，把自己拥有的最珍贵的东西给予别人，把自己的生命给予别人。这不一定意味着他要为别人而牺牲自己的生命，而是指他把自己身上存在的东西给予别人，把自己的快乐、理解、知识、幽默、哀愁，把他身上存在的所有东西表露和显现给别人。在他把自己的生命给予别人的同时，他丰富了别人的生命。通过提高自己的生存感，他会提高别人的生存感。他不是为了获取才给予；给予本身就是一种强烈的快乐。当然，在给予中，他不知不觉地使别人身上某些东西得到新生，这种新生的东西反过来又给他带来了新的希望；在真诚的给予中，他无意识地得到了别人给他的回馈。给予暗示了让对方也成为给予者；双方共同分享他们已使某些东西得到新生的快乐。在给予的行为中，某种东西得以新生，而对于这新生的事物，涉及到的双方都充满感激之情。
仅就爱而言，这意味着爱是一种能产生爱的力量；没有(这种)力量就不会产生爱。马克思曾对这种思想作过精辟的论述：他说，“假定人就是人，而人同世界的关系是一种人的关系。那么你就只能用爱来交换爱，只能用信任来交换信任，等等。如果你想得到艺术的享受，那你就必须是一个有艺术修养的人。如果你想感化别人，那你就必须是一个实际上能鼓舞和推动别人前进的人。你同人和自然界的一切关关系，都必须是你的现实的个人生活的、与你的意志对象相符合的特定表现。如果你在恋爱，但没有引起对方的反应，也就是说，如果你的爱作为爱没有引起对方的爱，如果你作为恋爱者通过你的生命表现没有使你成为被爱的人，那幺你的爱就是无力的，就是不幸的。” |