Dear Annie:

I live with my boyfriend, "Mike," in a very small apartment. Last month, his mother and 14-year-old sister moved in. They had nowhere else to go.

His mom has no money and nothing to contribute except for some food stamps, which keep the pantries slightly stocked. When we buy food, we have to buy enough for four.

We have no idea when she will be able to move out. Our electric bill has doubled and we are paying a lot more for water. Mike and I are having trouble making ends meet, and I don't sense much effort on his mother's part to find work. She is only looking for a specific type of job.

This is taking a toll on our relationship. How do we tell her to just take any job she can get and move out? － Squished

Dear Squished:

You can't tell her anything. Mike has to do it. Mike needs to give Mom a deadline for getting a job (perhaps three months), making it clear that if she cannot find one in her particular field by then, she must take whatever allows her to pay rent. She should not be freeloading. However, Mike may be unwilling to stick with such an ultimatum, so consider moving out until this resolves itself.