【主题】

I'd like to have a ten-minute talks to you about how to bear ourselves. This morning I just give one piece of advice to you. In our daily life and work, there has to need mutual understanding and mutual accommodation if we seek for peace and harmoniousness, no fight, no quarrel, so that we can get along with each other, being successful in our career, marriage,family, and so on. 今天我想跟大家仔细探讨一个为人处世的道理。在我们日常生活中，免不了与人打交道，这样就免不了会有矛盾冲突。如果我们想有个和平与和谐的生活，我们就需要相互谅解，相互和解，这样我们才可以友好相处，在我们的家庭，事业，婚姻等等方面成功。In English there is an idiom to express it. What's it? Let's listen to a simple situational dialogue and find it .

【原声对话 美语发音】

A : I find it hard to get on well with my colleagues.

B : You need a give-and-take attitude to get along in this firm.

A : Thank you for your advice.

【答疑解惑】

Yeah, it is "a give-and-take attitude". What is "give-and-take "? Let's look at a sentence . We could have intermarry with us. You could give us your daughters and and we take your daughters for ourselves. 意思是： 我们可以彼此通婚，你可以把女儿给我们，也可以娶我们的女儿。这句话中有give , and 和take 三个词，把它们组合在一起作为一个整体就是今天我们所要讲的习语了: give and take or give-and-take。And what's the differences between them?The first one with dashes is used as a verb and the second one is used as a noun. 第一个有破折号好的作为名词用，第二个则作为动词用。从刚才的那句话中，我们就可以看得出有公平交换的意思在里面，a fair exchange . However, let's look at another sentence: There's a lot of give-and-take among students before an examination. 意思是：考试前，学生要做许多学习心得的交流。In this sentence it means "friendly and peaceful exchange one's ideas or opinions with each other" . 是互相交流，交谈的意思，这种交谈带有一种感情色彩就是需要是一种平和的心态和有好的心态去交流。We have another sentence: We had to give and take before we could agree on a plane to a housing project. 意思是：我们必须互相让步才使这个建筑项目的计划成功。In this sentence, it means " to reach an agreement when each person gets part , but not all, of what he wants ". 意思是：（在合作中）相互妥协和让步的意思。Yeah , 我们要想事业成功，有所作为，确实要如此。我们要把握一点就是，人家让了你一步，你可不要 egg in your beer，得寸进尺了，不要做Give him an inch and he'll take an ell 这种人了，要把握好一个见好就收的度。A saying goes that if you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow。忍一时风平浪静,退一步海阔天空嘛。Well , let's look at the last sentence: A willingness to give and take is important for success in marriage. 意思是乐于互谅互让对于婚姻的成功是很重要的。In this sentence, it means : mutual understanding and mutual forgiveness and accommodation. 意思是：（生活中）相互的理解，原谅与和解。Indeed it is so. 确实如此，现在离婚率原来越高，就是缺乏互相谅解与和解，当然和社会风气也有关，但是这样对于小孩子是很不好的。为了您小孩的心理健康，还是“give-and-take”不要an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.以牙还牙，以眼还眼。 说到这里了，大家都很清楚了 a give-and-take attitude 就是互谅互让的态度的意思了。Now let's have a summary. Give and take 可以作名词用也可以作为动词用，作为名词用，需要破折号把它们连接起来，意思是：公平交换，互相友好交流、交谈，妥协、让步，互让互谅的意思。

【追根寻源】

Talking of this phrase, we can go back to it's origin. There's a horse -racing game in England in the mid 18th century. The weight of a horse was passed on the judgement to the hight of a horse. And the prize cup is called give-and-take plate or give and take. 说到这个习语，我们可以追朔到英国18世纪中叶的一个赛马项目，就是根据妈的高度来判断妈的重量。得到的奖杯就叫做give-and-take plate 或者是 give and take. 随着语言的发展，就用来表示“公平交易”“互谅互让”“相互交谈，交流”的意思了。