Dear Annie:

My husband's parents come to town every so often, but they never give us information about their schedule. They do, however, contact other family members. My husband thinks it's because they don't like me, but I have asked them directly and they insist they love us both.

The last time the in-laws were in town, we popped in where they were staying and took food and gifts. They were friendly enough, but they never said thanks for the gifts we brought. The next day, we stayed close to home in case they called, but they never did. However, they managed to see other family members.

This happens every time they visit and I'm sick of it. My husband always takes their side and says they are just busy. Frankly, the only time we hear from the in-laws is when they need something. I am feeling more resentful as time goes by. What do you suggest? － All Alone HereDear All Alone:

You need to step back from your involvement. When you next hear your in-laws are coming, tell them they are welcome anytime, but don't change your schedule in anticipation. If they want your company, they will call or e-mail. If your husband becomes upset, be sympathetic, but don't place blame. Expect nothing and you'll be less disappointed.

to contact  (v.)   联络；联繫to insist  (v.)   坚持；强调to pop in   突然出现to manage to   设法；处理frankly  (adv.)   老实地；坦白地resentful  (adj.)   愤恨的；憎恨的involvement  (n.)   捲入；牵涉anticipation  (n.)   预期；预料sympathetic  (adj.)   富同情心的；相怜的to place blame   怪罪