美国国家公共电台 NPR Pie In The Skymall（在线收听）

Pie In The Skymall

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Well, let's get started on your second challenge. Mary and Patrice, we have a guessing game for you called Pie In The Sky Mall. So, Mary, what is something that you've bought that you've never actually used?

MARY REZENDES: It's for people that ride bicycles, like road biking.

EISENBERG: Yeah?

REZENDES: It's called Chamois Butt'r.

EISENBERG: Chamois Butt'r for...

REZENDES: Yes...

EISENBERG: Where does that go?

REZENDES: It goes where the chamois of your bike shorts goes to try...

EISENBERG: And stop the chafing of the...

REZENDES: Yes, yes.

EISENBERG: ...Road biking experience?

REZENDES: Yes.

EISENBERG: I like that as an answer. Patrice, what is something that you've purchased but you've never used?

PATRICE GONZALES: My running shoes.

EISENBERG: You're running shoes, all right.

GONZALES: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Not once?

GONZALES: Like, maybe once.

EISENBERG: Maybe?

GONZALES: You know when you want to look like you work out?

EISENBERG: Totally. Of course, that's my - those are my favorite days. My favorite days are when you take the workout clothes with you, do your day and then you just bring them right back home, yeah, put them back perfectly clean ready for the next time.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Our younger listeners won't believe this, but there was once a time when airlines did not allow you to use an electronic device during taxi, landing and take-off. Matter of fact, the only entertainment you had was an in-flight catalog filled with the most absurd products that no one would ever need. And it was called SkyMall.

So in this game, I'm going to describe a product, and you need to tell me if it's something that you could really buy in the SkyMall catalog or if it's a fake product that we just made up, OK? And we're going to alternate back and forth, so you don't have to buzz in.

And if you win this game, Mary, you're going to go to the final round. Patrice, if you lose this game we're going to throw you out of an airplane.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: But it's grounded so it's OK. It's not going to be that bad. All right, here we go. I'm going to start with you, Mary. Is this a real or fake product? A toilet roll iPod docking station. Play or charge your iPod while you do your business, includes a bath tissue holder.

REZENDES: I think that's real.

EISENBERG: That is real, yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Patrice, Towel Hub, a paper towel holder for your kitchen counter with four usb ports.

REZENDES: Real.

EISENBERG: Also real. Yeah, that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: All right, Mary, 17th century nobility custom pet canvas. A portrait of your dog or cat posed as 17th-century nobility.

REZENDES: Real.

EISENBERG: Of course that's real.

REZENDES: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: I have five of them. I wish I had five of them. Patrice, nudies - socks with realistic lifesize photos of bare feet to give the illusion that you're not wearing socks for those people who liked to wear socks with sandals.

GONZALES: Real.

EISENBERG: I'm sorry, that is fake.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: I know. It sounded like we just hooked into the perfect product, but we made that up. Mary, Vape Zoo - a combination vape pen and kazoo, so you can play music while you vape.

REZENDES: I hope that's not real.

EISENBERG: It is not real. That is...

REZENDES: Yes.

EISENBERG: ...Not real.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Patrice, Tikker - the happiness watch counts down your life from years to seconds, motivating you to make every second count.

GONZALES: I think that's fake.

EISENBERG: I know, it sounds like it would be fake. But that is real. That is real. I know it's dark.

GONZALES: That's horrible.

EISENBERG: Hey, as you listen to this show, you're getting closer to death, just think of it.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: All right, these are your last clues. Mary, pierogi ornament - a Christmas ornament shaped like the Polish dumpling.

REZENDES: I think that might be real.

EISENBERG: I think you are right. That is a real desired product. Patrice, Total Control - A full-body slimming garment that starts at your ankles and ends just under your chin.

GONZALES: That's real.

EISENBERG: I'm sorry. That is fake. That is fake.

GONZALES: Really?

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: I - Patrice, I'm just going to say what are you wearing that under? Like, a ghost costume?

GONZALES: There are people.

EISENBERG: There are people?

GONZALES: There are people who would wear these.

EISENBERG: Scuba gear that need that.

JONATHAN COULTON: I feel like it would all pop out at your neck if you did that.

EISENBERG: Just all the - just bubbles.

COULTON: Your head would get really big.

EISENBERG: (Laughter) You'd just be walking out with a super red face from all that compression. All right, puzzle guru Art Chung, how did our contestants do?

ART CHUNG: They both did great. Mary, congratulations, you won both games. And you're moving on to the final round at the end of the show.

(APPLAUSE, SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

EISENBERG: Coming up, we'll find out who will face off against Mary in our final round at the end of the show. And also, Jonathan Coulton finally admits that Boston makes him feel good. And we'll harness the voice of "House Hunters" to help us find a new pad in space, so stay tuned. I'm Ophira Eisenberg, and you're listening to ASK ME ANOTHER from NPR.