Phone Recording: Hello and thank you for calling computer technical support.

Caller: Uh, yes, I have a problem . . .

 

Phone Recording: Your call is important to us, and we will answer your call in the order that it was received. You are number 47 in the queue. Your approximate waiting time is 47 minutes.

 

Technical support: Jason, speaking. How can I help you?

 

Caller: Oh, I'm saved. I thought I was going to have to wait all day.

 

Technical support: Okay, what's the problem?

 

Caller: Yeah, well, I bought one of your laptop computers about three weeks ago, but it just isn't running right.

 

Technical support: Okay, well, sorry to say, but your computer is no longer under warranty. [What?!] It ran out yesterday.

 

Caller: What? A three-week warranty? [Yeah, great isn't it.]. Ah!!!

 

Technical support: Okay, okay, what seems to be the problem?

 

Caller: Well, first of all, the thing always freezes [Yeah.] and has crashed a zillion times . . . [Always.]

 

Technical support: Uh, sir . . .

 

Caller: . . . and I think the computer's infected with spyware and the big banana trojan virus . . . [That's normal.] That's my biggest . . . that's normal? . . . That's my biggest concern.

 

Technical support: Oh, oh, uh, sir . . .

 

Caller: . . . and plus there was a ton of preinstalled, third-party programs that just clutter the computer, and I'm at wit's end trying to get this thing to work.

 

Technical support: Sir. I have to put you on hold.

 

Caller: What?

 

Technical support: It's going to take us a minute or so to diagnose the problem. [Huh?!] I'm going to transfer you to our ONE technician.

 

Caller: One . . . one!? But . . .

 

Phone Recording: Thank you for waiting. Your call is important to us. You are number 84 in the queue. You approximate waiting time is 2 hours, 17 minutes or whenever we get around to answering your call.

 

[ End of call and continuation of computer advertisement . . . ]

 

Caller and Narrator: Does this experience sound familiar? Then, do what I did. If your computer is holding your hostage and you can't get the service you deserve, then call Turbo Command, creators of the safest and most reliable computers and operating system on the planet.

 

Listen, while the competition is spending all of their time trying to imitate our computer's performance and features, our company is innovating the computer industry. So, why buy a computer that hiccups every time you turn it on when you can be the owner of the sleekest and friendliest machine ever.

 

Call us today or visit our Website for more information, and let us introduce you to the ultimate computer experience.

1. His computer has a virus.

2. The warranty has expired since he bought the computer.

3. They are understaffed to handle customer complaints.

4. The company manufactures secure and trustworthy machines.

5. Turbo Command