Penny: What the hell is this?

Leonard: don't ask me, a little elf [elf] did it.

Penny: so let me get this straight. You just assumed my paper would be bad so you wrote one for me?

Leonard: no, I assumed it would be good. Then I read it.

Penny: what?!

Leonard: no, no, I mean it was good. There were just a few things that needed a little polishing ['pɔliʃ].

Penny: what, you changed every word.

Leonard: that’s not true. Uh, slavery ['sleivəri], 1619, your name at the top, that’s all you.

Penny: you are such an ass. This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you I was taking a class in the first place.

Leonard: please don't be upset. I just… I didn't want you ending up with a bad grade and get discouraged [dis'kʌridʒd] and give up on the idea of going back to school.

Penny: right, because me being in school is so important to you. That way, you wouldn't have to be dating someone who’s only a waitress.

Leonard: oh, come on, you know that’s not true.

Penny: do I? Listen to me. I need to do this on my own. If I fail, I fail. If I pass, I pass. Do you get it?

Leonard: I’m sorry. I was just trying to help.

Penny: yeah, well, next time don't. Oh, and since you like stories so much, this is not The Shoemaker and the Elves, okay? This is, Give a man a fish, he eats it. Teach a man to fish, he… sells it or something. Whatever, I don't know! It’s just a lot better than what you did, you big jerk!