This thoroughly confused everyone around me: agents, producers and audiences alike. 这让我身边的人感到很困惑：经纪人，制片人，还有观众也是如此。

　　I made Cotaya's Ghost, a foreign independent film and studied history, visiting the Prada every day for four months as I read about goya and the Spanish Inquisition. 我拍了外国独立电影《戈雅之灵》，为此我学习历史，连续4个月我每天研读戈雅和西班牙裁判所。

　　I made V for Vendetta, studio action movie for which I learned everything I could about freedom fighters whom otherwise maybe call terrorists. 我拍了动作片《V字仇杀队》，为此学习了所有自由战士相关的东西，他们也被称为恐怖分子。

　　From Menachen Begin to Weather Underground. 从Menachen Begin到Weather Underground组织。

　　I made Your Highness a pothead comedy with Danny McBride and laughed for three months straight. 我拍了《王子殿下》，Danny McBride导演的大麻喜剧，这让我足足笑了三个月。

　　I was able to own my meaning and not have it be determined by box office receipts or prestige. 我可以决定自己的价值，而不是让票房或名声来决定。

　　By the time I got making BlackSwan, the experience was entirely my own. 当我拍《黑天鹅》时，整个经历都是属于我自己的。

　　I felt immune to the worst things anyone could say or write about me, and to whether the audience felt like to see my movie or not. 我感觉自己已经刀枪不入，不管别人怎么说我，也不在意观众是否会看我的电影。

　　It was instructive for me to see for ballet dancers, once your technique gets to a certain level, the only thing that separates you from others is your quirks or even flaws. 对我很有启示的是，对芭蕾舞者而言，当你的技巧达到一定高度后，唯一能让你与他人不同的就是你的怪癖甚至瑕疵。

　　One ballerina was famous for how she turned slightly off balanced. 有位芭蕾舞者因转圈轻微不平衡而出名。

　　You can never be the best technically, someone will always have a higher jump or a more beautiful line. 从技术上来说，你永远做不到最好，总会有人比你跳得更高，或者有更美的姿态。

　　The only thing you can be the best at is developing your own self. 你唯一能做到最好的就是发展你的自我。

　　Authoring your own experience was very much what Black Swan itself was about. 为你自己的体验做主就是《黑天鹅》中讲述的事情。

　　I worked Darren Aronofsky,the film's director, who changed my last line in the movie to "It was perfect". 我说服电影的导演Darren Aronofsky把最后一句台词改成了："这真完美。”

　　Because my character Nina is only artistically successful when she finds perfection and pleasure for herself, not when she's trying to be perfect in the eyes of others. 因为我饰演的角色Nina在艺术上的成功只在于让自己达到完美和愉悦，而不是为了试图在别人眼中变得完美。

　　So when Black Swan successful financially and I began receiving accolades. 所以当《黑天鹅》获得商业上的成功，而我也开始得到赞扬之时。

　　I felt honored and grateful to have connected with people. 我觉得荣耀和感恩的事我触动到了人心。

　　But the true core of my meaning I had already established. 我已经建立了自己价值的真正核心。

　　And I need it to be independent of people's reactions to me. 我需要它不受别人反应的影响。

　　People told me the Black Swan was an artistic risk, a scary challenge to try to portray a professional ballet dancer. 大家告诉我《黑天鹅》是艺术上的冒险，演绎职业芭蕾舞者是恐怖的挑战。

　　But it didn't feel like courage or daring that drove me to it. 但我觉得促使我去演的并非是勇气或胆量。

　　I was so oblivious to my own limit that I did things I was woefully unprepared to do. 而是我对自身局限的毫无所知，我对所做之事压根没有准备。