In fact...Promotion. 事实上，我要给你升职了

　　You can take that shaky alto to the mines, nurse Watkins. 你可以去矿井唱女低音了，沃特金斯护士

　　Ooh, Jessica town is looking great. 哇，杰西卡小镇看起来真棒

　　Except I hate seeing that empty hole every year. 除了那个每年都空缺的地方

　　Can't believe instead of a bakery, 真不敢相信，我不小心买下了两个书店

　　I accidentally bought two bookshops. 而不是面包店

　　Now they're in competition. 现在他俩要抢生意了

　　I'll never stop trying to hunt down 找不到狄更斯村庄的白马面包房

　　that Dickens village "White horse bakery," 我绝不罢休

　　item number 5926-9. 产品编号是5926-9

　　It's my white whale. 它是我的白鲸

　　Is that from "Moby Dick"? 这是出自《白鲸记》吗

　　I feel like that's one of those books 就是那本人人都说自己读过

　　everybody says they've read, 但事实上

　　but nobody's actually read it. 从来没看过的书

　　You never read "Moby Dick"? 你没读过《白鲸记》吗

　　It's an amazing story. 那个故事很精彩

　　No, I know. I read it. 不，我知道啊，我读过的

　　I see you haven't changed your views on Santa. 看得出来你对圣诞老人的看法还是没变

　　Well, there's room for improvement. 还有不好的地方

　　He flies around the globe in one night 他一夜之间给全世界的人

　　to give the whole world presents. 送去了礼物

　　What's there to improve? 还有什么不好的地方

　　He has no higher degree. 他没有受过高等教育

　　If you break it down, 如果仔细想

　　he's either a toy maker or a glorified deliveryman. 他就只是个做玩具的或者被吹捧的快递员

　　Either way, he's labor, not management. 不管怎样，他只是个工人，不是管理者

　　Look how long it took him to promote Rudolph. 他花了很长时间才提拔鲁道夫

　　Clearly not good at spotting talent. 很明显他没有识才的能力

　　And at his weight, 再看他的体重

　　he shouldn't be eating milk and cookies at every single house. 他根本就不该挨家挨户的吃饼干喝牛奶

　　No, he should just pack himself 他给自己打包一点

　　a little bag of almonds and a pear. 杏仁和梨子就行了

　　Irish mayor. 爱尔兰市长

　　Always drinking. 老是喝酒

　　This is my new version of Eddie's pimp walk. 这是我对埃迪舞步的改进版本

　　I call it jazz walk. 我叫它爵士步

　　No. This is jazz walk. 不，这才是爵士步

　　I took intro to Bob Fosse 我大二选修的时候

　　as an elective sophomore year. 认识了鲍勃·佛西

　　You did? I sure did.  跟他学的，当然

　　Oh, okay. 好吧

　　Louis, I did it. 路易斯，我做到了

　　I improved Santa. 我改进了圣诞老人

　　What do you mean "Improved"? 改进是什么意思

　　Dad, did you know Santa was an aeronautical engineer 老爸，你知道圣诞老人是航空工程师

　　and an accomplished scientist? 还是个颇有成就的科学家吗

　　Oh, really? 哦，是吗

　　I thought he was just a jolly guy 我还以为他只是个圣诞节出现的

　　who comes at Christmas. 快乐小人呢

　　He is, but he also went to Princeton. 是的，但他上过普林斯顿

　　Mom said he studied every night 老妈说他每晚苦读

　　and didn't waste time on girls or beer. 从不泡妞或喝酒

　　He prefers for people to focus on his charity work, 他希望大家能关注他的慈善工作

　　but the money he made from science 而他从科研赚来的钱

　　is what pays for all the toys. 都用来买玩具了

　　It makes sense. 很有道理

　　He must know physics to build a flying sleigh. 他精通物理所以才造出会飞的雪橇

　　And if he owns the patent, he must be M.C. Hammer rich! 如果他有专利的话，他一定和M.C. Hammer一样有钱

　　Or maybe it's just a part of the Christmas magic! 也有可能是圣诞魔法的缘故

　　What are you doing? 你都干了些什么

　　What aren't I doing? 你也看见了

　　You shouldn't mess with tradition. 你怎么能破坏传统

　　Why'd you have to "Improve Santa" All of a sudden? 为什么你突然要改进圣诞老人

　　Because, Louis. 因为，路易斯啊

　　Evan deserves for Santa to be the best. 在埃文眼里，圣诞老人必须是最优秀的

　　We've got the Cattleman's Ranch breakfast with Santa 明天早上牧场牛排餐厅

　　at the restaurant tomorrow. 会有圣诞老人表演

　　What happens if Evan asks him 如果埃文问他一大堆

　　a bunch of math and science questions? 关于数学和科学的问题怎么办

　　Just tell whoever's playing Santa 告诉那个扮演圣诞老人的人

　　to brush up on their algebra, physics, and basic trig. 让他温习一下代数，物理和三角学呗

　　Mitch is playing Santa. 扮演圣诞老人的是米奇

　　Can we split the check, please? 我们能分开付吗

　　Sure. 当然

　　We need to find a new Santa. 我们得找别的圣诞老人

　　Okay, well, we need an older white guy 好吧，我们需要一个白发的老人

　　with an advanced degree 他必须有高学历

　　who enjoys children sitting in his lap. 还喜欢让孩子们坐在他大腿上

　　I'd love to play Santa. 我很乐意当圣诞老人

　　Oh, and I can do his makeup! 噢，我可以帮他打扮

　　I interned as a makeup artist 之前猫咪团旅行的时候

　　for the traveling tour of "Cats." Ahh.  我做过美容实习生，啊

　　Was that the summer you were a lesbian? 你还是拉拉的那个夏天吗

　　Good memory! But no. 你还记得啊，不过不是的

　　No, it was the previous summer, 是之前的夏天

　　when I met that woman who owned the cranberry bog. 那时候我遇见了一个拥有蔓越莓田的女人

　　Oh, right. 哦，对啊

　　Mm. Right.  嗯，是的

　　Anyway, it'd be an honor to play Santa. 总之，我很荣幸扮演圣诞老人

　　Oh, great! 哦，太好了

　　It's gonna be so much fun! Yeah.  一定会很有趣的，是啊

　　Now, this binder contains equations that support the math 这个活页夹里面包含了能让圣诞老人

　　of Santa's transcontinental one-day flight. 一夜之间横贯大陆的数学公式

　　And this binder contains the complete history 这个活页夹里面有过去五年里

　　of Santa and Evan's interactions over the past five years. 圣诞老人和埃文所有的互动

　　Oh. 噢

　　I know it's a lot, but Evan's smart. 我知道这有很多，但是埃文很聪明

　　Uh, well, he's met his match. 那他可遇到对手了

　　I mean, you don't get to be one of Orlando's top 100 dentists 不够聪明的话，我就不会成为奥兰多排名前一百的

　　by not being smart. 牙医之一

　　Oh, what number in the top 100 are you? 排名前一百的什么

　　I have it all under control. Don't worry about it. 一切都在我掌控中，不用担心

　　I wonder what Lorraine is up to. 我在想洛伦最近怎样

　　Isn't it funny how people just come into your life, and... 多有趣啊，有的人走进你的生命中

　　Yeah...then go?  是啊，然后又离去

　　What's this noise? 你在弄什么

　　My Christmas present for mom. 我给老妈的圣诞礼物

　　It's an exact replica of the "White horse bakery" 这是模仿杰西卡小镇缺失的白马面包房

　　that's missing from Jessica town. 做的复制品

　　What are you gonna get mom for Christmas? 你准备给她什么礼物

　　I don't know. 不知道

　　Well, when are you gonna figure it out? 那你什么时候想好呢

　　I don't know. 不知道

　　Thoughtful presents are always appreciated. 人们青睐精心准备的礼物

　　Remember last year when I wrote that historical novel 还记得去年我根据奶奶的生活

　　based on grandma's life, "A pearl for God"? 写了一本历史小说《上帝的珍珠》送给她吗

　　She loved it. 她爱死了

　　Did she, though? 是吗

　　Grandma! 奶奶

　　What? 什么

　　You got to come here! 快过来啊

　　What did Emery get you last year for Christmas? 埃默里去年给你的圣诞礼物是什么

　　The historical novel. 那个历史小说

　　What? And what did I get you?  啥，我送你的是什么呢

　　We wish you a merry breakfast! 祝大家早餐愉快

　　Eat up and come meet Santa! 尽情享用吧，还有圣诞老人哦

　　Oh, try our peppermint cornbread! 对了，尝尝薄荷味的玉米面包

　　Sounds gross, but tastes... 听起来很恶心，但是尝起来

　　Freshens your breath! 可以清新口气哦

　　I can't wait to talk to Santa about science and math! 我迫不及待想要跟圣诞老人讨论科学和数学啦

　　Great, but don't ask Santa too many questions. 可以，但是别问太多问题

　　He's a busy man. 他很忙的

　　He has enough time to spend two hours every night 他每晚会花两小时和他母亲

　　talking to his mother over tea. 边喝茶边聊天

　　She will always be his favorite woman. 那是他最喜欢的女人

　　What happened to your hands? 你的手怎么了

　　I burnt my fingers using the hot-glue gun on mom's present. 我用粘合剂喷枪给老妈做礼物的时候把手弄伤了

　　We have a hot-glue gun? 我们有粘合剂喷枪吗

　　Why haven't we glued Evan to the wall yet? 那我们为啥还不把埃文粘在墙上

　　Okay, guys! 好了，各位

　　I just got word that Santa has arrived! 我刚得到消息说圣诞老人马上就要到了

　　Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! 嚯，嚯，嚯

　　Merry Christmas! 圣诞节快乐

　　Santa! 圣诞老人

　　Come, we have so much to discuss! 快来呀，我有好多问题想问你呢

　　So, to calculate lift, 要算升力的话

　　it's coefficient times density times the velocity squared 系数乘上密度再乘上速度的平方

　　times the area of the wing divided by two. 最后乘以机翼面积再与二相除

　　And that's factoring in Rudolph's body weight? 还要包含鲁道夫的体重吗

　　Absolutely. 当然

　　We wouldn't want to fly too low 我们可不想飞得太低

　　and clip off the chimney tops. 撞上房顶的烟囱盖

　　Heaven forbid! 不能违反天堂守则哟

　　Marvin really looks like Santa. 马文演得像真像圣诞老人

　　Is that a prosthetic nose? 他脸上那个是假鼻子吗

　　Yep. It's the same one I used on Skimbleshanks. 没错，我演《猫》的时候就用的那个

　　That means nothing to me. 我对那个一窍不通

　　Anyway, I know it's not Christmas yet, but... 总而言之，我知道还没到圣诞节，但是

　　I found you the perfect gift, and I couldn't wait. 我发现了一个特别适合你的礼物，等不及要送给你了

　　Oh! 噢

　　The bakery?! 面包店

　　What the Mary? 我的圣母玛利亚啊

　　How did you get this?! 你怎么找到这个的

　　Oh, Marvin's first wife 噢，马文第一任妻子

　　left a box of Christmas decorations in the garage, 留了一箱子圣诞装饰物在车库里

　　and this was in there. 我就是在那儿找到的

　　And some cocaine. 还找到一些可卡因

　　Like I said, there were some problems before I came along. 我说过，我嫁过来之前这个家确实有些问题

　　I love it! Yay! 我太喜欢了，耶

　　Oh, thank you so much! 噢，太谢谢你了

　　You're welcome. 别客气

　　Santa was great! 圣诞老人棒极了

　　He's so smart, and... 他好聪明，而且

　　Ho, ho, ho! 嚯，嚯，嚯

　　Ho, ho... 嚯，嚯

　　No! 不

　　Who the hell is that? 这家伙是谁

　　I'm Santa! 我是圣诞老人啊

　　Wait. If this Santa's Mitch, then who's that Santa? 等等，如果这个圣诞老人是米奇扮的，那个又是谁

　　What's going on? 怎么回事

　　You know what, Evan? It's time you know the truth. 你知道吗，埃文，是时候该告诉你真相了

　　Jessica... 杰西卡

　　He's figured it out, Louis. 纸包不住火了，路易斯

　　We have no choice but to come clean. 除了说出真相我们别无他法

　　Evan, we've been lying to you. 埃文，其实我们一直在骗你

　　This Santa is Mitch. 这个圣诞老人是米奇

　　And look. 看着

　　This Santa is Marvin. 这个是马文

　　Both of these Santas are fake 这两个圣诞老人都是假的

　　because the real Santa... 因为真正的圣诞老人

　　is Chinese. 在中国

　　What? What?  什么，什么

　　Santa's Chinese? 圣诞老人是中国人

　　Yes! 没错

　　Why do you think all the toys he delivers say "Made in China"? 不然为什么他送给所有礼物上面都印着“中国制造”呢

　　Right, Louis? 对吧，路易斯

　　Uh, right. Right. 对，没错

　　How about how Santa wears a red suit? 你别忘了圣诞老人穿着的红色上衣

　　Nothing more Chinese than the color red. 没有比中国人更喜欢红色的了

　　I've never seen a Chinese Santa. 可我从来没见过中国版的圣诞老人呀

　　Oh! O-oh, of course you haven't. 噢，噢哇，你当然没见过

　　Real Santa doesn't have the time to be standing around 真正的圣诞老人没时间到处闲逛

　　ringing a bell on every street corner. 在每个街角里摇着铃铛

　　Then why all the white Santas? 那白人圣诞老人就有时间了吗

　　Uh, well, remember when I first opened Cattleman's 好吧，记得牧场餐厅开业的时候

　　and hired Mitch to be the white face of the restaurant? 我雇米奇来做餐厅的白人代表吗

　　Chinese Santa's doing the same thing. 中国的圣诞老人也在做同样的事情

　　Ah, all those white Santas are just Chinese Santa's Mitches. 啊，所有白人圣诞老人都是米奇版的中国圣诞老人

　　Oh. 噢

　　Never knew this. 真是长见识了

　　I can't believe honey got mom the bakery. 我不敢相信哈妮也送了一个面包店给妈妈

　　Christmas is days away, and I've got nothing. 圣诞节马上就要到了，我什么都没准备好

　　Ah, yes. 啊，没错

　　This is a position I've been in many times. 我遇到过很多次你这样的困境

　　If I don't come up with something for mom, 如果我想不出送什么礼物给妈妈

　　it'd be weird to give dad his present. 那送爸爸的礼物就会显得很奇怪

　　Ooh! Is that made of chocolate? 噢，那是用巧克力做的吗

　　What am I gonna do? 我该怎么办啊

　　This is what you're gonna do. 你就这么办

　　I got you. 我来帮你

　　You ready? 准备好了吗

　　You're gonna... 你就

　　Let it ride! 顺其自然吧

　　What? 啥

　　I said... "Let it ride!" 我说，顺其自然

　　What does that mean? 啥意思

　　You don't do anything, 就是你啥也别干

　　and then somehow it just works itself out. 事情最后会自己解决的

　　The best action is inaction. 无为而治

　　It's one of Newton's laws. 这是牛顿定律之一

　　No, it's not. 不，才不是

　　Agree to disagree. 我赞同你不赞同我

　　Okay, ready to go to Evan's holiday pageant? 好了，准备好去参见埃文的圣诞会了吗

　　Ooh, are those zongzi? 噢，这些是粽子吗

　　Uh! These are for Chinese Santa. 嗯，这些都是给中国版圣诞老人做的

　　They're filled with proteins and mung bean 里面全是蛋白质和绿豆

　　because Santa is training for a half marathon. 因为圣诞老人要为半程马拉松做足准备

　　All right. 好吧

　　I only went along with you at Cattleman's because of Evan, 我当时在餐厅那儿配合你全是为了埃文

　　but you've got to stop fixing Santa. 但是你不能再编造圣诞老人的故事了

　　I'm done. Santa's fixed. 好的，我已经编完了

　　I made him the best. 我给了他一个最棒的圣诞老人

　　I've been thinking about what you said about Santa. 我一直在想你说的那个圣诞老人

　　It totally makes sense! 一切都说得通了

　　Smart enough to understand the science of flight, 他足够聪明，能够掌握飞行的原理

　　yet small enough to fit down a chimney? 又矮小到可以钻进烟囱里

　　That dude Chinese. 绝对是中国人无疑啊

　　Boom. 嘣

　　What's this? 这是什么

　　It's a poem I wrote for mom that we can say is from both of us. 这是我写给老妈的诗，咱俩可以一起送给她

　　"Dear mama, place no one above ya. “亲爱的妈妈，你是如此重要

　　Sweet lady, you are appreciated. 甜蜜的女士，让我赞美你

　　Don't ya know we love ya?" 难道你不知道我们如此爱你”

　　This is pretty good. 写得不错呀

　　I know. 我知道

　　But some of this doesn't make sense. 但是里面有些句子不好理解

　　Like, why'd you say, "Even as a crack fiend, mama, 比如你为啥说“尽管你是最邪恶的魔鬼，妈妈

　　you always was a black queen, mama"? 你永远是我的暗黑女王”

　　It's poetry, man. Don't be so literal. 这叫诗意，伙计，认真你就输了

　　I do have a logical brain. 但我的大脑还有逻辑

　　That's why I could never enjoy nursery rhymes, 这就是我为什么不喜欢

　　like three pigs live in a house, 三只小猪住一起

　　an old woman lives in a shoe, bears eat porridge... 老女人住在破鞋里，小熊喝粥这样的童谣

　　it's silly is what it is! 真是蠢到家了

　　I like this intensity, Emery. 我喜欢你这反应，埃默里

　　We should channel this into something more positive. 也许我们应该弄点更精彩的

　　That's awesome! Mom's gonna love it. 太棒了，妈妈肯定会喜欢的

　　Hey, I'm gonna go get a soda. 嘿，我去喝瓶苏打水

　　You're not coming back, are you? 你不会再回来了，对吧

　　Nope. 没错

　　Welcome, 3rd-grade students and parents. 欢迎大家，三年级的所有学生和家长们

　　As you know, every year, 正如你们所知，每年

　　our faculty likes to put on a holiday show 我们所有教职员工都会奉上一场节日表演

　　as a thank-you for your hard work and dedication. 来感谢大家这一年的努力工作和巨大贡献

　　Whoo! 哇喔

　　In our past shows, we've had visits from Santa, Rudolph, 在以往的演出中，我们会见到欢乐的

　　and little-people elves, who, with gusto, 圣诞老人鲁道夫和小精灵

　　threw themselves into the crowd to be passed around. 人们会将他们高举接力

　　However, a new state law was just passed 然而，一条新的规矩刚刚成立

　　called "Kathy's rule," 这条规矩就是“凯西法则”

　　which prohibits any religious, spiritual, 它禁止在公立儿童剧院的所有带宗教意义

　　or gender-y connotations in state-funded children's theater. 精神性以及性别色彩的表演

　　So this year, please welcome the pan-cultural seasonal entity. 所以今年，请欢迎泛文化季节性代表物

　　I respect you! 向大家致敬

　　Where's Santa? 圣诞老人在哪

　　Firmly rooted in Christian tradition, 信仰基督教的家庭

　　unlike Panny here, who is all things 和拥有其他信仰的彭尼不一样

　　because it is nothing. 其他宗教里没有圣诞

　　But it's Christmas. There should be Santa. 可现在是圣诞节啊，就应该有圣诞老人

　　Santa's the best. 圣诞老人是最棒的

　　He's kind and generous and caring. 他和蔼而慷慨，还关心人

　　He sure is. That's right.  当然是的，没错

　　And he's Chinese! 而且他是中国人

　　Who wants to see Panny dance? 谁要看彭尼跳舞

　　Santa is not Chinese! 圣诞老人不是中国人

　　Yes, he is! 他是的

　　That doesn't even make sense! 那一点道理都没有

　　Okay, everybody calm down! 好了，大家冷静下来

　　Stop yelling at children! 别朝着小孩子嚷嚷

　　And why can't Santa be Chinese? 而且为什么圣诞老人不能是中国人

　　Everybody's on board with a fat man flying around the world, 大家都同意一个胖子满世界飞

　　just so long as he's white? 只要他是白皮肤的就好吗

　　Santa's not fat! He's big-boned! 圣诞老人不胖，那叫魁梧

　　Eddie! 埃迪

　　Eddie, you didn't write a poem. 埃迪，你并没有写诗

　　You plagiarized a rap song. 你就抄了一首饶舌歌

　　I didn't plagiarize. 我没有抄

　　I sampled. 我参照而已

　　We can't give mom 2Pac lyrics as her present. 我们不能把图派克的歌词送给妈妈

　　Christmas is two days away. 还有两天就圣诞节了

　　What are we gonna do? 我们要怎么办

　　Don't say it. 别说出来

　　Let it ride! 顺其自然

　　No kick? 不踢腿吗

　　I'm wearing umbros. 我穿着茵宝短裤呢

　　Don't want you to get an eyeful. 不想让你一览无余

　　You feel me. 你懂我的

　　Well, that got out of hand fast. 那场面失控得太快了

　　I can't believe they chased that gray blob 不敢相信他们把那灰不溜秋的东西

　　through the parking lot. 追到了停车场

　　You guys know me! I'm Paul Andrews! 你们认识我的，我是保罗·安德鲁斯啊

　　Chrissy's father! 克丽茜的爸爸

　　Cut him off! 别让他跑了

　　Evan, are you okay? 埃文，你没事吧

　　I'm just confused. 我就是有点困惑

　　You said Santa's not white, 你说过圣诞老人不是白种人

　　and everyone at school says he's not Chinese. 而学校的所有人都说他不是中国人

　　I don't know what to believe. 我不知道该相信什么了

　　I-I didn't mean for this to happen. 我不是故意要搞成这样的

　　I just... I just wanted to make Santa the best for him. 我只是想给他一个最好的圣诞老公公

　　I know you did. 我知道你的本意

　　I need to find a way to make this right. 我得想个办法纠正这事

　　Honey, I need your help. 哈妮，我需要你的帮助

　　Santa? 圣诞老人

　　Santa is Chinese! 圣诞老人是中国人

　　Yes. 是的

　　But you're a woman. 但你是个女人

　　Yes. 没错

　　Then why do you have a beard? 那为什么你有胡子

　　This is mole hair. 这是痣毛

　　It all grows out of two very lucky moles. 都是从两个幸运痣长出来的

　　I've never heard of a woman Santa. 我从没听过有女版圣诞老人

　　You think a man is thoughtful enough 你觉得一个男人的心思能细腻到

　　to give presents to everyone in the world? 给世界上的每个人送礼物吗

　　Do you think a man is organized enough 你觉得一个男人能够井井有条地

　　to make a list of the behavior of every single boy and girl? 记录下每一个孩子的行为吗

　　You know those street signs that say "Men at work"? 你知道那些写着“男人在工作”的标志吗

　　Women don't need those because it is understood. 女人可不需要那些，因为那是可以充分理解的

　　But all the Santas I ever see are white men. 但我见过的所有圣诞老人都是白人男性

　　They all work for me. 他们都是为我工作的

　　I am the wholesaler. 我是个批发商

　　They are my middlemen. 他们是我的中介

　　But why are you here tonight? 但你为什么今晚出现在这里

　　It's not Christmas Eve yet. 今晚不是圣诞前夜啊

　　I come on December 23rd... 我十二月二十三号就来了

　　And I hide the presents. 我藏好了礼物

　　Then my white Santas come Christmas Eve 然后我的白人圣诞老人会在圣诞前夜来

　　and put the presents out under the tree. 把礼物拿出来放到树下

　　I allow them to take credit, but I am the boss. 我让他们揽下功劳，但我是老板

　　This is why I am called... 所以我叫做

　　Lao ban Santa. 圣诞老板

　　Boss Santa! 圣诞老大

　　That's right. 没错

　　I'd better go. 我要走了

　　My Lebaron is idling in the driveway. 我的男爵车海停在车道上

　　You drive a Lebaron? 你开男爵车

　　It's a lease. 是租的

　　Better for tax purposes. 方便报税

　　You must promise never to tell anyone about me, 你要保证绝不跟任何人提起我

　　not even your brothers. 即使是你的哥哥们都不行

　　You are a special soul... 你是一个特别的灵魂

　　one who believes in magic but still has a scientific mind. 你相信奇迹却又有着科学思维

　　Like me. 就像我

　　So you are a scientist! 所以你是一名科学家

　　Well, of course! 当然了

　　I have a J.D., M.D., Dds, Phd, 我有法学博士，医学博士，牙科博士和哲学博士的学位

　　and I am a notary. 而且我是一名公证员

　　Remember... always be the best. 记住永远要做最好的自己

　　Study hard and eat more vegetables. 努力学习，多吃蔬菜

　　My fat friend J.J. Says candy is America's vegetable. 我的胖子朋友JJ说，糖果就是美国的蔬菜

　　Maybe less time with J.J. 少和JJ一起玩

　　Merry Christmas, Evan. 圣诞快乐，埃文

　　Merry Christmas, Lao ban Santa. 圣诞快乐，圣诞老板

　　Evan? Everything okay? 埃文，没事吧

　　Everything's great. 什么事都没有

　　Shh. I have a lot to tell you. 嘘，我有好多话要跟你说

　　"Guarding Tess." Thank you, Eddie. 《第一夫人的保镖》谢谢你，埃迪

　　Why you so nervous, man? 你怎么这么紧张，伙计

　　Because it's Christmas morning, 因为这是圣诞早晨

　　and all I have for mom are these film-canister earrings. 而我能送给妈妈的只有这对胶卷耳环

　　This is not who I am. 我不是这样的人

　　Oh, no! 噢，不

　　It's the bakery! 面包店垮了

　　Mrs. Smithyman the shopkeeper 店主史密西曼太太

　　was just getting over her husband's suicide. 刚刚经历了她丈夫自杀一事

　　Dark. 真难熬啊

　　Don't worry, mom. We got you. 别担心，妈妈，我们给你准备了

　　Emery made it. 埃文做的

　　This is amazing. 这太棒了

　　You made this by yourself? 你自己做的吗

　　Yeah, it's perfect to scale. 对，尺寸很好量的

　　Thank you. I love it. 谢谢你，我很喜欢

　　And I made you these earrings. 我给你做了这些耳环

　　Thank you, Eddie. 谢谢你，埃迪

　　I'll put them with the paperclip anklet you gave me last year. 我会把它们和你去年送我的曲别针袜子放在一起

　　Maybe there is something to thoughtful presents. 也许精心准备礼物还是有点道理的

　　I was gonna say maybe there's something to letting it ride. 我准备说或许顺其自然也有道理

　　You ready? 你准备好了吗

　　One, two, three. 一，二，三

　　Let it ride! Ha! 顺其自然，哈

　　It's like I'm kicking into a mirror. 感觉像是在踢镜子

　　Wow, Evan, look how many presents 哇哦，埃文，看看圣诞老人

　　Santa left you last night. 昨晚给你留了多少礼物啊

　　Yes. 是啊

　　So many presents from regular Santa, 普通圣诞老人送了好多礼物

　　which he brought in last night. 他昨晚送过来的

　　Come on. We've been through this a million times. 拜托，我们演习过上万次了

　　Everything you need to know about Lao ban Santa 你需要了解的一切关于圣诞老板的事情

　　is right here in these binders. 都在这些活页夹里了

　　Okay, so he comes... 好吧，那么他

　　She. 她

　　Right. 对

　　She comes on December 23rd, the Eve of Christmas Eve... 她在十二月二十三号前来，在圣诞前夜的前一晚上

　　Yes. 没错

　　...in a leased Lebaron because...? 开着租的男爵车是因为

　　It's better for her taxes. 方便报税

　　Well, why doesn't she just buy a truck and use that every year? 但是，为什么她不买辆卡车，每年都开出来

　　Wouldn't that make more sense? 那不是更有道理吗

　　Louis, when a tradition has been established, 路易斯，一旦确立了一个传统

　　you really shouldn't try to improve on it. 你就不该试图改进它了