I'm Sam. How can I help? 我是山姆，有什么可以帮忙的吗

　　That's not his real name. I worked in a furniture store. 这不是他的真名，我在家具店工作过

　　Salesmen pay for their kids' llege with lies. 售货员都是靠满嘴跑火车来供孩子上学的

　　I can't have kids. Lie.  我生不了孩子，骗人

　　Okay, Sam, 好吧，山姆

　　we're looking for a recliner for my mother-in-law. 我们想给我婆婆选个躺椅

　　Oh. Uh, over here's our Branson G-7. That's a lie. 9 Uh, very popular with bachelors...Lie.  这是我们的布兰森G7款，假的，在单身人士中很流行的，说谎

　　And newlyweds. Lie.  新婚的夫妻也大爱这款，接着编

　　Also comes in corduroy. Another lie.  还是灯芯绒的，大骗子

　　Hey, Eddie, look. A love seat. 嘿，埃迪，看，情侣座椅

　　You should get one for Alison now that you two are... 你应该给艾莉森买一个，既然你们俩都已经

　　What are they talking about? 他们在说啥

　　Nothing... Just dumb-wads being dumb. 没什么，只是有些人不说话没人把你当哑巴

　　He and Alison are smooching. 他和艾莉森亲亲亲了

　　With their lips! 嘴唇贴嘴唇

　　You kissed Alison? Why didn't you tell me? 你吻了艾莉森，怎么不告诉我呢

　　N... I don't know. 我不知道

　　It wasn't a big deal. 没什么大不了的

　　Yeah. No, it's cool. 也对，没关系

　　I don't tell you every time I kiss your mom, so I get it. 我也没有每次亲你妈妈都跟你报备，所以，我懂的

　　Twice this week, by the way. 顺便说下，这周亲了两次

　　The D1. Good taste, and it's affordable.  D1款，好眼光，而且价格亲民哦

　　$300 plus the $75 handling fee. 三百美元外加七十五美元运费

　　I'll handle it myself. 我自己会运

　　That's the cost of getting it here from our factory in Georgia. 那是产品从佐治亚州的工厂运到这来的运费

　　The only way to avoid that fee is to go there and pick it up. 要想省下这笔钱，你得亲自去提货

　　Well, with gas mileage, 即使算上来回的油费

　　plus wear-and-tear on the car, minus food, 还有车的保养费，去掉伙食费

　　I'd still save over $20 if I went and picked it up myself. 亲自去提货我还是最少能省二十美元呢

　　Uh, yeah, I guess, you know, technically, 呃，是的，理论上是这么回事

　　but uh it's not worth the trip to Georgia. 但是为了省这点钱就跑一趟佐治亚州不值啊

　　So you're telling me 所以你是在说

　　if you saw a $20 bill on the street, 你在街上看到二十美元的钞票

　　you wouldn't pick it up? 你不捡吗

　　No, I... I would. 不，我会捡的

　　I ate a cinnamon hot ball off the ground this morning. 我今天早上还吃了个掉在地上的肉桂球

　　Finally, the truth. 终于说句实话了

　　Plus I love organizing road trips. 再加上我超爱组织自驾游

　　They are the ultimate test of efficiency and cunning. 它们是对你的效率和机智的终极考验

　　I'm in. I love road trips, too... 算我一个，我也很爱自驾游

　　Snacks, radio, hanging a towel in the window to block the sun. 吃点零食，听听电台，在车窗上挂条毛巾遮遮太阳

　　We're also in. 我们也去

　　The World's Largest Peanut is in Georgia. 世界上最大的花生就在佐治亚州展出

　　Disney Adventures magazine 迪士尼探险杂志

　　" called it "Worth pulling over for." 称它为"值得驻足一看的奇观"

　　We're going on a road trip! 我们要自驾游

　　Three times. 三次了哦

　　We'll pick up Emery and Evan from school 我们去学校接埃默里和埃文放学

　　and hit the road from there. Perfect. 然后直接上路，完美

　　I baked us some brownies, 我烤了点布朗尼蛋糕

　　and I grabbed some sodas. 还带了几瓶苏打水

　　Bottles... smart. 瓶装饮料，机智

　　This will mean six less bathroom trips for the boys. 这些至少能让男孩们，少跑六趟厕所

　　Jessica, do you think that's enough food for the weekend? 杰西卡，你觉得这些食物够过周末吗

　　Oh, we'll also get discount fruit from road stands. 我们还要从路边的休息站买点便宜水果

　　It's much cheaper than city fruit. 比城里的便宜多了

　　Wow. You really are the master of road trips. 哇哦，你真的是自驾游高手啊

　　Someone has to be. 总得有人来当啊

　　Hey, bachelor! 嘿，单身汉

　　Hey, what do you got planned for the weekend? 嘿，周末有什么打算吗

　　Oh, I got a pile of squirrel kills 我有一堆松鼠尸体

　　I've been meaning to taxidermy if you want a fur fix. 一直打算做成标本呢，你要不要来顺毛

　　Oh, I'd love to, but I thought it would be good 我很乐意，不过我觉得过个男人周末

　　for Eddie and I to have a guys' weekend. 对我和埃迪都有好处

　　Yeah, we haven't been talking much, 我们最近没怎么交流

　　so we're gonna hang out, just the two of us... 所以我们打算就我们两人一起打发时间

　　Eat pizzas, hit the driving range, 吃披萨，打会高尔夫

　　watch "Police Academy" Movies. 再看看《警察学校》系列电影

　　Ah. I remember I had a guys' weekend 我还记得和我爸老马文一起

　　with my father, Marvin Sr. 过了一次男人周末

　　He paid an angel to make me a man. 他花钱给我找了个美女，把我变成了真正的男人

　　Oh. Um, my dad didn't believe in weekends. 噢，我爸不过周末的

　　The most we ever bonded was the one time he told me 我们最亲密的时刻就是

　　I did a good job carrying soup to the table. 有一次他夸我端汤端得好

　　Hey! Don't I get a kiss goodbye? 嘿，不跟我吻别下吗

　　Oh, the engine's already running. 引擎已经启动了

　　It would waste gas to get out now. 现在从车里下去会耗油的

　　I'll say goodbye when I get back. 等我回来再跟你道别

　　Anyone up for bowling this weekend? 这周末有人要去打保龄球吗

　　Can we use bumpers? Hell, yeah.  我们能用球道护栏吗，当然行啊

　　I'm out. I got a guys' weekend planned with my dad. 我玩不了，我和我爸约好要过一个男人周末

　　Oh, cool. I do that with my dad, too. 不错啊，我也和我爸一起过男人周末

　　We're just in different cities when we do it. 不过我们是在不同的城市一起过的

　　I think it'll be pretty cool... Sit around in our underwear, 我觉得肯定会很有趣，光膀子坐在一起

　　eating take-out, not brushing our teeth. 吃着外卖，不用刷牙

　　Sounds amazing. 听起来好棒

　　I'm stuck at home with my four sisters. 我被困在家里，跟我的四个姐妹待在一起

　　Crying, slapping, door slamming... 大吼大叫，互相攻击，摔门而去

　　I'm just trying to watch "Seinfeld." 我只是想好好看《宋飞正传》而已

　　You guys want to come over to my house this weekend? Yes! 你们这周末要来我家吗 要

　　I mean, are you sure it's cool with your dad? 我是说，你确定你爸不介意吗

　　Of course! Guys' weekend. 当然啦，男人周末嘛

　　Guys' weekend. 男人周末

　　I spy with my little eye s... 我用我敏锐的小眼睛看到了

　　The freckle on my chin. 我下巴上的雀斑

　　Mommy, you win again! 妈咪，你又赢了

　　Wow, Jessica. 厉害了，杰西卡

　　He didn't even get the clue out that time. 他连线索都还没说出来呢

　　I'd make a great spy. 我肯定是个优秀的侦探

　　I spy what you're gonna spy before you even spy it. 在你还没开始描述之前我就知道你要说什么了

　　This is so fun. Oh! 真有意思，噢

　　What the hell was that?! 刚才那是什么

　　I... I got him to honk. 我让他按喇叭了

　　You know...Ah! 你知道的，啊

　　Mom, look, the cheap gas station is up ahead. 妈，快看，前面有个廉价加油站

　　They give you a free lighter if you pay with cash. Oh. 现金付款还送打火机，噢

　　Honey's horn game almost made me miss it. 哈妮的喇叭游戏差点让我错过了它

　　I spy some good boys. 我敏锐地发现了好孩子哦

　　What in hot ham was that? 你在搞什么

　　You almost blew the whole trip. 你差点毁了整趟旅行

　　What are you talking about? 你们在说什么啊

　　You have to be very careful with Mom on road trips. 和我妈一起自驾游必须很小心

　　She's great if things go her way, 事情顺她的意倒还好

　　but as soon as something happens she doesn't like... 一旦有她不顺心的事发生

　　She turns into... A road grump. 她就会变成一只公路母老虎

　　A "Road grump"? 公路母老虎

　　There's several warning stages... 她有几个警戒阶段

　　Squeezing the wheel... Muttering.  握紧方向盘，小声嘀咕

　　Screaming at cars. 对着车乱喊

　　And finally, speaking only in Mandarin. 最后的最后，她会满嘴普通话

　　If that happens, forget it. 要是出现那种情况，那就完了

　　She's in Grumpville. Trip over. 她已经整个崩溃了，旅行结束

　　That's why we missed the World's Largest Peanut 这就是为什么我们从华盛顿一路开车到奥兰多

　　when we drove from D.C. To Orlando. 还是错过了世界上最大的花生

　　Eddie kept asking, "How much longer?" 因为那时埃迪不停问，还要多久啊

　　and Mom lost it. 然后妈妈就失控了

　　C'est fini. 旅行结束

　　Well, if that's true, why are you going 如果你们说的是真的

　　on another road trip with her? 那你们为什么还要和她一起自驾游

　　Because we all got things we can't explain, 因为每个人都有自己的执念

　　and ours is seeing that big peanut, okay? 我们俩就是想去看那个大花生，不行吗

　　And this time, we're prepared. 而且这一次，我们做好了充分准备

　　We've got mix tapes, Boggle, a book of funny limericks. 我们带了合成专辑，拼字游戏，一本搞笑打油诗集

　　And I've got my Jodie Foster impression locked and loaded. 还有我已经成功解锁了我的朱迪?福斯特模仿技能

　　Hmm. 嗯

　　When can I stop smiling? 我要笑到什么时候

　　You can't. 千万别停

　　#Ba ba-ba-ba ba Ba ba-ba-ba Everybody'za now,'za 叭叭叭叭叭叭，叭叭叭叭，大家一起唱起来

　　Hey, Dad. 嘿，老爸

　　Oh, hey... dudes. 噢，嘿，伙计们

　　Hey, Mr. Huang. Hey.  黄叔叔好，嘿

　　What's going on? 你们在做什么

　　Well, I was bragging about our guys' weekend 我跟他们炫耀了下我们的男人周末

　　and these fools got jealous, so I invited them to join. 这群蠢货们就羡慕嫉妒恨的，所以我就邀请他们也加入了

　　Um, but, Eddie, the driving range at the club 可是埃迪，俱乐部的高尔夫球场

　　might not be able to accommodate such a big group. 貌似容纳不了这么多人哎

　　I'm sure it'll be fine. 肯定没事的啦

　　Yeah, Eddie can just go all Mr. Fruzetti  到时候埃迪可以弗鲁泽蒂先生上身

　　on them and they'll cave. 保证他们分分钟投降

　　I don't get it. 我没懂笑点在哪儿

　　Mr. Fruzetti's our science teacher, 弗鲁泽蒂先生是我们的科学老师

　　and whenever he gets frustrated, 每次他一不爽

　　he starts to spit when he talks, 就会边说话边喷口水

　　so people just give in 'cause they don't want to get wet. 然后别人就会马上投降免得被口水喷到

　　"Eddie, don't sthquirt that. 埃迪，别“傻”出来了

　　It's all sthodium sthulfide." 那全都是”流”化”辣”

　　That's funny. 那还挺逗乐的

　　You never told me that before. Okay. 你以前没跟我说过，好吧

　　Guys' weekend, king-sized edition... 男人周末，升级版

　　I'll order extra pizzas. Yes! 我会再叫点披萨，赞

　　Hey, Trent! 嘿，特伦特

　　Get the hell in here, you orange bastard, 赶紧到这边来，你个橙色皮肤的小混蛋

　　before I Fruzetti all over you. 不然我喷你一身弗鲁泽蒂的口水

　　Hi, Mr. Huang. All right. 你好，黄叔叔，好了

　　Sorry I was late. 不好意思我来晚了

　　I was just picking up some beer. 我只是去拿了瓶啤酒

　　Whoa! 哇

　　How quickly can we get rid of your dad? 我们最快能多久摆脱你老爸

　　You got actual beer?! 你居然搞来了真的啤酒

　　The magician! How did you do it? 你简直就是魔术师，怎么办到的

　　My older sister was... 我姐姐

　　Trish, 25, attended Rutgers. 崔西，二十五岁，在罗格斯大学上学

　　Was getting beer for a party, 正要去给派对买点啤酒

　　and I caught her in a rare good mood. 我正巧赶上她少有的好心情

　　And she just bought it for you, just like that? 然后她就给你买了，就这么简单吗

　　I had to give her all my savings... 60 bucks... 我得交出我所有的积蓄来，整整六十刀呢

　　And promise not to talk or sing around her for a year. 还得保证一年之内不能跟她说话，或者在她身边唱歌

　　But you love to sing. I know. 但是唱歌就是你的生命啊，我知道

　　And you're sure it's not that non-alcoholic 你确定这不是那种

　　Sailor Boy stuff, right? 水手男孩之类的无酒精饮料，对吧

　　Nope. It's an India Pale Ale. 不，这是印度淡啤酒

　　Damn, son. That's imported. 可以呀，兄弟，还是个进口货

　　Look, my sister... 是这样，我姐姐她

　　Teaches swim lessons, goes to work in a bathing suit. 教游泳课，平时穿着泳衣去上班

　　Said she was never doing this again. 她说下不为例

　　We got a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. 这可是有生之年只有一次的机会

　　We can't just waste it. 我们可不能浪费掉

　　That's for sure. 必须的

　　Hey, boys. 嘿，孩子们

　　Who wants to learn poker? 谁想学玩扑克啊

　　Your love is better than ice cream 你的爱甜过冰淇凌

　　Everyone here knows how to fly 每个人都知道如何飞

　　Do, do, do-do do 嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟

　　Again? 又来一遍

　　Is this mix tape just "Ice Cream" Over and over? 这盘合成专辑是就一首《冰淇凌》单曲循环吗

　　Mommy loves this song, Honey. 妈咪很爱这首歌，哈妮

　　Yes, Honey. You can never have too much of a good thing. 是的，哈妮，好东西听多少遍都不嫌多

　　So much traffic. 真够堵的

　　People need to learn how to drive. 有些人真得学学怎么开车

　　Someone better be dead. 前面最好是有人死了

　　It looks like all old people. 这里看上去全是些老年人

　　Snowbirds, heading north now that winter's over. 就好像雪鸟，冬天结束就往北飞

　　Maybe they would get there faster 要是他们能看到方向盘上面的情况

　　if they could see over the steering wheel! 或许他们就能快点开过去了

　　Stage three... Yelling at cars. 第三阶段，冲别的车大喊大叫

　　Quick, do your impression. 快点，解锁你的模仿技能

　　You see a lot, Dr. Lecter. 你能看穿很多事，莱克特医生

　　But are you strong enough to point 但是你足够强大到

　　that high-powered perception at yourself? 能把你那深邃的洞察力用在你自己身上吗

　　Uh... 呃

　　Oh, what if we stop for ice cream 哦，我们等着通车的时候

　　while we wait for traffic to clear. 停下来吃个冰激凌怎么样

　　You know, ice cream like the song? 你知道，就像歌里唱的冰激凌一样

　　I'll pay so it doesn't cut into your chair savings. 我来请客，这样就不会用到你们买椅子的钱了

　　Oh, that's a good idea. 哦，好主意

　　That's more efficient than wasting gas 这可比堵在这里浪费汽油

　　sitting in traffic. 划算多了

　　These skeletons will clear out once the sun sets. 这群骨头架子等到太阳落山就全跑光了

　　The old hate the dark. 老年人不喜欢黑天

　　All right, boys. Take your time. 好了，小伙子们，慢慢来

　　There's no clock in poker. 打扑克牌是不计时的

　　Check your cards, read your opponents, 看看你手上的牌，再看看你对手的表情

　　formulate your strategies. 规划一下你的战略

　　All in. 全押

　　You sure? 你们想好了吗

　　We're sure. 想好了

　　Oh! Trying to push the big cat around, huh? 看来你们这是逼我这只大肥猫发威呀

　　Well, the only thing I fold is laundry. 我唯一会折

　　的是洗好的衣服

　　I'll pay to see 'em. 我跟注，放牌吧

　　Well, looks like you win again, Dad. 好吧，看起来您又赢了，爸爸

　　Game over. We're out of money. 牌局结束，我们没钱了

　　Oh, no, no, no, no. 哦，不不不不

　　We'll consider it another practice round. 我们就当这是练习局了

　　Now, again, don't go all in 现在，再重申一次，除非你们手上真有好牌

　　unless you've got the cards, okay? 不然别全押上，好吧

　　Leave the bluffing to the experts. 虚张声势还得是老司机来

　　Man, I'm getting tired. 老爸，我有点累了

　　Me too. Brutal week. 我也是，艰难的一周啊

　　I'm feeling my age. 我真是上岁数了

　　Maybe we should call it a night. 我觉得现在该上床睡觉了

　　It's only 5:00. It's still light out. 这才刚五点，天还亮着呢

　　We've got hours of "Police Academys" To watch. 我们还有几个小时的《警察学校》没看呢

　　We got the entire weekend, Dad. 整个周末都是我们的，老爸

　　Don't want to burn us out the first night. 别在第一天晚上就玩过火了

　　Got to be fresh for the driving range in the morning, right? 还得留着精力明天早上去高尔夫球场呢，你说对吧

　　Well, I guess I can't argue with that. 好吧，我也无言以对了

　　Good night, fellas. 晚安，伙计们

　　Good night! 晚安

　　Good night. 晚安

　　Kitty, kitty, kitty. 猫咪，猫咪，猫咪

　　All right. 好吧

　　I'm so amped to party. 我准备好嗨起来了

　　It's lukewarm. 还是暖的

　　Who's gonna take the first sip? 谁来尝这第一口

　　I'll do it. 我来吧

　　How is it? 怎么样

　　Can you taste the hops? Are you drunk?  你能尝到啤酒花的味道了吗，你醉了吗

　　I don't know. I definitely feel weird. 我不知道，但我确实觉得不对劲

　　He's buzzin'. Oh, my God. He's buzzin'. 他醉了，天啊，他醉了

　　Do girls look more attractive? 这些姑娘看起来有没有更诱人

　　That was some quick thinking back there. 刚才那会儿你真是太机智了

　　You really saved us. 你救了我们

　　Yeah, we were seconds away from hearing Mandarin swears. 是啊，我们差点就听到妈妈用中文骂人了

　　Hey, your "Ice Cream" Mix gave me the idea, 嘿，我是从你们的《冰淇凌》合成专辑里得到灵感的

　　and I probably would have missed that sign 如果不是你们让我玩的那些猜谜游戏打的基础

　　if you hadn't primed me with all that "I spy". 我可能就错过那个标志了

　　Celebratory lick? 舔一下来庆祝

　　Traffic's clearing. 开始通车了

　　Should be smooth sailing from here on out. 应该可以顺利从这里开出去了

　　Big Peanut, here we come. 大花生，我们来了

　　Oh, no. A parking ticket's like a thousand bad traffics. 哦，不，一个违章停车的罚单比堵车糟一千倍

　　Everybody ready to hit the road? 大家都准备好上路了吗

　　All board! Yay! You know it. Okay. 都准备好了，必须的，你懂的，好

　　Practice round? 这轮能算是练习吗

　　Hey, ho! 嘿，吼

　　Figured I didn't need to knock on account of guys' weekend. 我想既然是男人周末我就不用敲门了吧

　　Come right on in. 来的正是时候

　　I thought Eddie could use these tomorrow. 我想埃迪明天可以用得到这些

　　They're Nicole's old sticks. 这些是妮可的旧高尔夫球杆

　　They banned her from the golf course 他们禁止她进入高尔夫球场

　　for hitting too many "Geese burners." 因为她打坏了好多青铜鹅炉

　　Thanks, Marv. 谢谢，马文

　　Yeah. 别客气

　　So, how's it going? Okay.  进展怎么样，还行

　　Eddie's buddies crashed the party, but I just rolled with it. 埃迪的小伙伴们不请自来，不过我就由着他们来了

　　Going with the flow... 顺其自然

　　That's the backbone of any guys' weekend. 这可是所有男人的周末精神

　　Where are the little rug sniffers? 那群小鬼头到哪去了

　　They went to bed. 他们去睡觉了

　　Before midnight? 没到半夜就睡了

　　With all that testosterone? 他们浑身都是荷尔蒙啊

　　No. 我不信

　　The boy's got a VCR in his room? 那孩子房间里是不是有录像机

　　Not anymore. 已经没有了

　　He was taping cable shows in the middle of the night. 他以前总是大半夜地把有线电视节目录下来

　　Well, that rules out ta-ta movies. 那就不是在看少儿不宜的电影

　　-He's got fireworks? We're Chinese.  他是不是有烟花，我们是中国人

　　The boys have been over fireworks since they were five. 孩子们自打他们五岁的之后就玩腻烟花了

　　Well, did they sneak out to go egging? 那他们会不会溜出去搞扔蛋的恶作剧

　　Jessica painted the windows shut. 杰西卡刷窗户的时候把窗封死了

　　Then it's got to be booze. 那就是在喝酒了

　　What? No way. Booze.  什么，不可能，绝对是喝酒

　　Eddie's growing up, but he's not there yet. 埃迪是长大了，但他还没到那个年龄

　　Okay, maybe you're right. 好吧，也许你说得对

　　I don't mean to overstep. 我不是要多管闲事

　　Who knows a son better than his father, right? 知子莫若父，是不是

　　I'll leave you to it. Hit 'em long and straight. 这些就交给你了，打的时候得抡圆了

　　All right, Marv. Okay.  好的，马文，好的

　　Hey, just checking to make sure everythi... 嘿，我就是来看看是不是都

　　You're drinking? 你们喝酒了？

　　No. Eddie's the only one who had any. 不，只有埃迪喝了一点

　　None of us even tried it. Where is he?  我们都还没尝过，他人呢

　　He had a few sips and said he felt weird. 他就喝了几口，然后说感觉不对劲

　　And then he ran into the bathroom. 然后他就跑去浴室了

　　Did Eddie O.D.? 他是不是喝多了

　　No, he'll be fine. 不，他会没事的

　　But this should be a lesson to all of you not to drink. 但是你们应该吸取不能喝酒的教训

　　I'm gonna have to call your parents and let them know. 我会打电话给你们的父母报备一声

　　Go home. Party's over. 回家吧，派对结束了

　　Sorry, Mr. Huang. See ya.  抱歉，黄叔叔，再见

　　Oh, God. 哦，天呐

　　What's happening to me? 我这是怎么了

　　Oh, God, oh, God. 哦，天呐，哦，天呐

　　Oh, God. What? 哦，天呐，什么鬼

　　Eddie, can I come in? 埃迪，我能进来吗

　　No, Dad. I'm... I'm doing something in here. 不，老爸，我正忙着呢

　　Eddie, I know about the beer. Just open up. 埃迪，我知道啤酒的事情了，开门吧

　　Crap. 惨了

　　Trust me, you don't want to see this. 相信我，你不会想看到这个的

　　Open up the door right this minute. 马上给我先把门打开

　　Okay. You asked for it. 好吧，是你让我开门的

　　We need to talk. 我们得谈谈

　　What's happening to us? 我们这是怎么了

　　The Asian Flush. 这是亚洲红脸

　　What's wrong with me? Am I drunk? 我这是怎么了，我喝醉了吗

　　Calm down. Getting agitated will just make it worse. 冷静点，着急只会变得更严重

　　Worse?! 更严重

　　It's called the Asian Flush. 这个叫亚裔脸潮红

　　It's an allergic reaction. 是一种酒精反应

　　Your body lacks the enzyme to process alcohol. 你的身体缺少消化酒精所需的酶

　　It doesn't affect everyone. 不是每个人都会这样

　　Your mom and grandma don't have it. 你妈妈和奶奶就不会

　　What's gonna happen to me? 我会怎么样

　　Well, everyone reacts different. 每个人的反应都不同

　　For me, my face gets hot and red, 像我的话，我的脸会发烫变红

　　my throat and eyes get itchy, and my heart races. 我的喉咙和眼睛会发痒，心跳加速

　　You didn't drink much, so it shouldn't last long. 你没喝多少，所以应该不会持续很久的

　　Great... just another way I'm different from everyone else. 太好了，又是一个我与众不同的地方

　　This is like an all-body heat. 这简直就像是全身加热

　　Look, I was just as confused as you 我第一次发现这种情况的时候

　　when I first discovered it. 跟你一样困惑

　　It happened my freshman year in college. 那是我做大学新生的那一年

　　Oh! Hey, man! 哦，嘿，伙计

　　I was already self-conscious being an Asian kid 做为唯一的亚洲人在一个满是白人的学校里

　　in a mostly white school, 我已经很腼腆了

　　and now the one thing that was supposed to help 本来应该有助于缓解我的社会焦虑症的东西

　　my social anxiety only made it worse. Not bad. 反而让我变得更糟了，不错啊

　　And then... And then I did the worm. 然后...然后我就跳起了虫子舞

　　Oh, yeah! 耶

　　Your face. 你的脸

　　Oh! You look like your sweater. 哦，你的脸快跟你的毛衣颜色一样了

　　What's wrong with you? 你怎么了

　　I don't know. 我不知道

　　Really, Maryland? 你这是在逗我，马里兰

　　You rain for three straight months, 你下了整整三个月的雨

　　but tonight there's not even a breeze?! 今晚却连丝风都没有

　　I don't feel so good. 我感觉不太好

　　Oh, yeah. That's another thing. 哦，好吧，那是另一回事

　　We also get an accelerated hangover. 我们还很容易上头

　　Come on. I got something that'll help. 来吧，我有东西可以帮你

　　Hey! 嘿

　　They're just giving it away. 这些就好像是白送的一样

　　I don't want to jinx it, 我不想招来厄运

　　but I think this might be my best road trip yet. 但我认为这是我迄今为止最棒的一次自驾游了

　　It is. It totally is! 是的，完全是

　　I can't take it anymore. It's too much pressure. 我受不了了，压力太大了

　　Girl, you got to hold it together. 妹子，你必须振作起来

　　That's what I'm saying. I can't. 我就是在说，我做不来

　　We're hostages. You know that, right? 我们就是人质，你们都知道的，对吧

　　We just have to keep it up a little longer 我们只要再多坚持那么一会儿

　　so we can see the Peanut, pick up the chair, and get home. 这样我们就能看到大花生，取走椅子，然后回家

　　Why do you want to see this peanut so badly? 你们为什么这么强烈想看这个花生

　　Because it's the world's biggest peanut. 因为它是世界上最大的花生

　　What is she not understanding? 为什么她就是不明白呢

　　Can you explain it to her, please? 能不能请你跟她解释一下

　　Aah! 啊

　　Another ticket? 又一张罚单

　　What do you mean "Another ticket"? 什么叫"又一张罚单"

　　Here you go. Try this. 给你，试试这个

　　Ugh! It tastes worst than the beer. 呃，尝起来比啤酒还难喝

　　Oh, yeah. It's disgusting. 哦，确实恶心

　　I call it Lou Brew. 我称它为路家精酿

　　It also gets out permanent marker and blood stains. 它还可以祛除永久性的印记和血痕

　　I don't get it. 我不懂

　　I've seen you drink alcohol before 我以前见过你喝酒

　　and this never happened to you. 你从来没有这样过

　　Well, I've learned to adapt over the years. 这么多年里我学会了适应

　　At first, around my white friends, I'd fake drunk. 首先，在我的白人朋友面前，我假装喝酒

　　Good one, Clark! 说得好，克拉克

　　Whoo! Another round! 喔，再来一轮

　　Then if I was with my Chinese friends, 跟我的中国朋友在一起的时候

　　I could just let it fly because they understood. 我就可以放飞自我，因为他们懂得

　　Hey, I think it spread to my eyelid. 我觉得这酒精反应延伸到我的眼皮了

　　Hey, check this out! 来看看这个

　　I got that butt thing again. 我屁股又红了

　　Oh, Hank! Hank! 汉克，汉克

　　If I pass out, I've got $2 worth 我付了两美元在点唱机里

　　of Bob Seger in the jukebox. 点了鲍勃?西格的歌，我要是喝挂了

　　If "Like a Rock" Comes on, wake me up. 《坚如磐石》这歌起的时候，就叫醒我

　　Can someone turn the A.C. Up? 有没有人可以把空调开大点

　　It is hot as hell in here. The twins are drenched. 这里热死了，我的双胞胎

　　都湿透了

　　And then, eventually, I developed a pre-game routine 最终，我发展出了一套酒前应对流程

　　to fight it the best I could. 这样我就可以不醉不归

　　My Flush Pack... Before I drink, 我的红脸应对包，我喝酒之前

　　I take these precautions 就先采取预防措施

　　and it lessens the side effects... 可以减轻副作用

　　PEPCID, inhaler, eye drops, TUMS. 法莫替丁，吸入器，眼药水，抗胃酸咀嚼钙片

　　You have to do all this nonsense every time you drink? 你每次喝酒的时候都得弄这些乱七八糟的东西吗

　　I don't write checks my body can't cash. 我可不会透支我自己的身体

　　Also, there's some cash in here. 另外，这里面还有一点现金

　　I don't understand. 我想不通

　　Why didn't you just tell me about the tickets? 你们为什么不直接告诉我罚单的事情

　　Well, because every little thing sets you off... 因为任何一点点小事都会让你爆发

　　Honey... because you're a road grump.  哈妮别说了，因为你是一只公路母老虎

　　What are you talking about? 你这话是什么意思

　　As soon as things don't go your way, 一旦事情不顺着你的意思进行

　　you get super sensitive and make everyone tense. 你就会变得超级敏感，然后让大家都很紧张

　　No, I don't. 不，我才不是呢

　　I run on a schedule, 我按照计划走

　　but that's just to make things more efficient. 是因为那样可以更高效

　　I'm a road boss. 我是自驾大佬

　　Road trips are supposed to be fun. 自驾游本来应该开开心心的

　　If I knew it was gonna be like this, 如果我早知道会这样

　　I would have just given you the $20 我宁愿给你二十美元

　　to buy the chair back in Orlando. 让你在奥兰多就把椅子买了

　　You both feel this way? 你们俩都是这么想的吗

　　I didn't know. 我以前不知道

　　I don't want to be a road grump. 我不想变成公路母老虎

　　I want to have fun on this trip, too. 我也希望这趟旅行能开开心心

　　It's too late. 太迟了

　　You're already mad about the parking tickets. 你已经因为罚单的事情气疯了

　　What parking tickets? 什么罚单

　　Jessica, they can track you down by your license plate. 杰西卡，他们可以追踪你的车牌号找到你

　　Oh, yeah? 是吗

　　Anyone asks, our plates got stolen 要是有人问起的话，就说我们的车牌被偷了

　　and someone else got those tickets. 是别人收到的那些发单

　　Uh an unmarked car? 呃，一辆没有牌照的车

　　Now it's a road trip! Yes!  现在这才像自驾游啊，是的

　　Let's go see that peanut! 我们一起去看那个大花生吧

　　Yes! Let's do it! Let's go!  太棒了，走吧，出发吧

　　And last, just to be safe, 最后，安全起见

　　I rubber-band these gauze pads in my armpits 我用橡胶带裹着这些纱布裹到腋窝下面

　　to soak up the sweat. 这样能吸汗

　　First we can't drink milk, and now this. 起初我们不能喝牛奶，现在又来这个

　　Asians got jobbed. 亚洲人事儿真多啊

　　Why did you never tell me about this? 你怎么从来没告诉过我这件事

　　I was going to when you were old enough to start drinking. 我本来是要等你到了喝酒的年龄再告诉你的

　　I guess I didn't realize you were there. 我想我是没有意识到你一开始可以喝酒了

　　Yeah, well, I learned my lesson. 好吧，我已经得到教训了

　　Your mom and I will take that into consideration 等我和你吗想到要怎么处罚你时

　　when we figure out your punishment. 会把这一点考虑进来的

　　Damn. 该死

　　Well, if it helps, it wasn't planned. 帮我自己说句话，这不是我计划好的

　　It just sort of happened. 这件事就这么发生了

　　Honestly, this weekend I was just hoping 说实话，这周我只是想

　　to sit around in our underwear watching TV... 跟你光膀子坐在一起看电视

　　Not brushing our teeth. 不刷牙

　　This all seems like a lot of work 对于一个超难喝的东西来说

　　for something that tastes like garbage. 这反应也太过了吧

　　Well, if you want to talk about it, 如果你想谈谈这事或者别的任何事的话

　　or anything else, I'm here. 我就在这里

　　I actually do have some questions about kissing. 我确实有一些关于接吻的问题要问

　　How do you know if you're good at it? 你怎么能知道你是不是擅长接吻呢

　　Well, if she's anything like your mother... 如果她像你妈妈一样的话

　　You know what? I'm not feeling so great. 你知道吗，我感觉不太舒服

　　Maybe we can talk more later. 也许我们可以晚点再讨论这件事

　　Whenever you want. 随传随到

　　Come on. Let's get the rest 来吧，我们去把剩余的啤酒

　　of the beers and dump them out. 拿出来扔掉

　　Oh. It was just the one. 哦，只有这一瓶

　　The five of you were going to split one beer? 你们五个人打算就分这一瓶啤酒

　　It was all he could afford. 他已经用上了他的全部积蓄了

　　Trent paid his sister 60 bucks for it. 特伦特花了六十美元跟他姐姐买的

　　She said she was losing money. 她说她已经亏钱

　　Why do they have a swimming pool at a police academy? 警察学校里为什么会有游泳池

　　Don't start asking questions, or it all falls apart. 别问，不然会幻灭的

　　Hey, you're back. How was the trip? 你们回来啦，旅行如何

　　Mom's speaking Mandarin. 妈妈在说普通话

　　You didn't see the big nut, did you? 你们没看到那个大花生，是吧

　　Nope. Didn't even get the chair.  没看到，连椅子都没拿到

　　What happened? 怎么回事

　　Let's go see that peanut! 让我们去看大花生吧

　　Yes! Let's go!  太棒了，出发吧

　　And that's for driving without license plates. 这是你们驾驶无牌车的罚单

　　Goodbye, Big Peanut. 再见了，大花生

　　Maybe it's better not to meet your heroes. 相见不如怀念