I forced myself not to wait for you, not to follow you from the school. 我强迫自己不要停下来等你，不要跟着你离开学校。

It was easier outside, when I couldn't smell you anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decision. 在外头，当我再也闻不到你的时候，我可以更容易地思考，更容易地作出正确的选择。

I left the others near home—I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, 快到家的时候，我让别的人下了车——我太羞愧了，不敢告诉他们我的意志是那么的薄弱。

they only knew something was very wrong—and then I went straight to Carlisle, at the hospital, to tell him I was leaving." 他们只知道出了非常严重的状况——然后我直奔医院找卡莱尔，告诉他我要离开。”

I stared in surprise. 我震惊地看着他 。

"I traded cars with him—he had a full tank of gas and I didn't want to stop. “我和他交换了车子——他的车子有满满一箱油，而我不想停下来。

I didn't dare to go home, to face Esme. 我不敢回家，不敢面对艾思梅。

She wouldn't have let me go without a scene. 如果我去见她，她一定不会让我走的。

She would have tried to convince me that it wasn't necessary... 她会竭力说服我这毫无必要……”

"By the next morning I was in Alaska." “第二天早上我到了阿拉斯加。”

He sounded ashamed, as if admitting a great cowardice. 他听起来很羞愧，就好像在承认自己是多么的怯懦一样。

"I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances...but I was homesick. “我在那里待了两天，和一些老相识在一起……但我很想家。

I hated knowing I'd upset Esme, and the rest of them, my adopted family. 我讨厌想到，我让艾思梅伤心了，还有余下的几个，我不是亲人胜似亲人的家人。

In the pure air of the mountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. 在高山上纯净的空气里，很难想象你的味道是那么的不可抗拒。

I convinced myself it was weak to run away. 我说服自己，逃跑是一种示弱的行为。

I'd dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, but I was strong. 在此之前我能很好地抵抗诱或，虽然它们都没有这样强烈，甚至没有这样接近，但我很坚强。

Who were you, an insignificant little girl"—he grinned suddenly—" to chase me from the place I wanted to be? So I came back..." 而你，一个不起眼的小女孩”——他忽然咧嘴一笑——“能把我从我想去的地方赶走？所以我回来了……”

He stared off into space. 他看向空中。