I've read about it a hundred thousand times, seen actors portray it in a thousand different plays and movies. 我读到过这种情绪千万次，在一千部不同的戏剧和电影里看过演员对此的演绎。

I believed I understood that one pretty clearly. But it shocked me..." 我相信自己对此的理解非常透彻，但它却震撼了我……”

He grimaced. 他扮了个鬼脸。

"Do you remember the day that Mike asked you to the dance?" “你还记得迈克邀请你去舞会那天吗？”

I nodded, though I remembered that day for a different reason. "The day you started talking to me again." 我点了点头，不过我记得那一天却是出于一个完全不同的理由。“那天你又开始和我说话了。”

"I was surprised by the flare of resentment, almost fury, that I felt—I didn't recognize what it was at first. “我被那阵一闪而过，几近狂暴的愤怒惊呆了，我所感觉到的——起初我根本分辨不出这是什么样的情绪。

I was even more aggravated than usual that I couldn't know what you were thinking, why you refused him. 我不知道你在想什么，这种挫败感比平时来得还要严重，因为我不知道你为什么拒绝他。

Was it simply for your friend's sake? Was there someone else? 仅仅是为了你的朋友的缘故吗？还是为了某个人？

I knew I had no right to care either way. I tried not to care. 我知道我没有权利去关心这些方面。我努力不让自己去关心这些。”

"And then the line started forming," he chuckled. I scowled in the darkness. “然后排队邀请你的队伍开始形成了。”他轻笑起来。我在黑暗中把脸绷起来。

"I waited, unreasonably anxious to hear what you would say to them, to watch your expressions. “我等待着，焦虑不安得毫无理由地，想要听到你会对他们说什么，想要看见你的表情。

I couldn't deny the relief I felt, watching the annoyance on your face. But I couldn't be sure. 我无法否认，当看到你脸上烦恼的神情时，我感到一阵宽慰。但我不能肯定。

"That was the first night I came here. 那是我第一次晚上来这里。

I wrestled all night, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew was right, moral, ethical, and what I wanted. 当我看着你的睡容时，我整夜都在挣扎着，在我知道是正确的，合乎道德的，合乎伦理的，和我想要的之间挣扎着，有如困于深谷之中。