subconsciously adv. 潜意识地

　　put guard down放下警惕

　　softener n. 软化剂；硬水软化器

　　communicator n. 传播者；发报机；通信员

　　seek out 找出；搜出；想获得

　　Show your hands

　　亮出你的双手

　　Use your hands to acknowledge the other person whether it's a wave or a handshake to help. This helps the person subconsciously put his/her guard down.

　　不论是挥手或握手，我们都可以用双手来表示对对方的认可。这个行为会让对方放下警惕。

　　Use softeners before questioning

　　提问前加点“软化剂”

　　For example, instead of asking Why would you do that? you can ask What made you do that?. Or to make it even more gentle, you can ask, What about the situation you were in made you do that?

　　例如，比起“你为什么那样做”我们可以说“是什么使得你那样做”，这样会更温和一些。或者说“你做这些事的时候是处在什么样的情况夏”会更好。

　　Create Me too moments

　　创造“我也是”的时刻

　　What most people don't realize is great communicators know how to seek out and create moments that get the other person thinking in their brain Oh my Gosh, me too!

　　很多人都没有意识到一个成功的交流者懂得如何寻找并创造让对方脑中浮现出这样的想法：“哦，天呐，我也是这样。”

　　This helps promote a sense of bonding and openness that creates a space for better communication.

　　这会让人产生一种归属感，并敞开心扉，留给双方更多的交流空间。

　　Communicate your feelings through stories

　　通过讲故事来表达自己的感受

　　Practice expressing your experiences and feelings through stories. Try to be detailed. For example, don't just say you had a bad day. Share the specific details on what happened:

　　试着讲故事来表达你的经历和感受，尽量详细一些。比如，不要仅仅说你今天过得不好，而要跟对方分享一些细节。

　　Who was there?

　　都有谁？

　　How did you feel when it happened?

　　事情发生的时候你是什么感觉？

　　What do you think caused it?

　　你认为为什么会发生这件事？