I have strongly mixed feelings! So, Howard's really in space, huh? 我内心五味杂陈啊。霍华德真的上太空啦

Mmhmm, International Space Station. 250 miles that way. 对啊，在国际太空站呢！在我们头上250英里外

Right now, Howard's staring down at our planet like a tiny Jewish Greek god. Zeusowitz. 此时此刻，霍华德正从上方俯视这星球像一个小版的犹太希腊神！沃罗威宙斯

I must admit, I can't help but feel a twinge of envy. 我不得不承认我心里实在是有点小嫉妒

He can look out the window and see the majesty of the universe unfolding before his eyes. 他只需往窗外一看壮丽宏伟的宇宙便尽收眼底

His dim, uncomprehending eyes. 尽收他那浑浊愚昧的眼底

It's like a cat in an airport carrying case. 就像放在机场宠物运输箱里的猫

You know, it's not exactly glamorous up there. 其实在太空也没这么好啦

The water that the astronauts drink is made from each other's recycled urine.  宇航员所喝的水都是过滤其他宇航员的尿得来的感觉

Must be nice.Nobody wants anything that comes out of me. 一定不错!我身上排出的各种液体都没人想要

I wonder what he's doing right this very second. 真好奇此时此刻他在太空干嘛

Mm, conducting experiments in zero gravity. 在零重力的状态下做实验

Peering through his telescope at the birth of the cosmos. 透过望远镜看着宇宙的生成

Whatever it is, we know his life will never be the same. 无论是什么，他的生活再也不同了！

Howard! Can you hear me?! I can hear you without the phone! 霍华德，你听得到我吗？不用打电话我都能听到你在地球吼！！！

Don't be snippy. I'm just excited to talk to my baby! 别这么暴躁我只是很兴奋能跟我小宝贝说话

I'm excited to talk to you, too. 我也很兴奋啊

So, what's this mishegas about you moving out to go live with the little Polish girl?! 有个疯狂的谣言说你要搬走去跟那个波兰妞同居是怎么回事

How about calling her my wife? 你就不能称呼她为我老婆吗

Wives don't take boys from their mothers. 老婆才不会害人家母子分离

They do. That's why we marry them! 就是因为她们会，所以才要娶她们

I just hope I'm not dead from a broken heart before you get back. 我只希望在你回来之前我没有心碎而亡妈 

Ma,please.Everyone from NASA is listening to this phone call. 别这样!太空总署的人都在听我们讲电话

Good. They should know what a horrible son you are! 很好!这样他们就知道你有多不孝了

Okay, Ma, great talking to you! Gotta go! Well... space is ruined.  好啦,妈!下次再聊,挂啦太空之旅.被毁得一干二净!

This is so exciting. 好兴奋哦!

Soon, my upper lip will be the same fake blonde as my beautiful best friend. 我唇上的汗毛很快会跟我美丽好友一样有着好看的假金色了

Hey, this is my natural hair color. Now. 我天生就是这个色好吧!现在

So, does Sheldon have anything special planned for you tomorrow night? 谢尔顿有替你们俩明晚做什么特殊安排吗？

Oh, yes. According to the Relationship Agreement, on the anniversary of our first date, he must take me to a nice dinner, 当然有，根据恋爱协议我们的首次约会周年纪念日他得带我去吃顿好的

ask about my day and engage in casual physical contact that a disinterested onlooker might mistake for intimacy. 关心我那天的生活琐事然后对我做出一些肢体接触是让旁观者都觉得我们很亲密的那种哦

That's hot. You kids better use protection. 香艳火辣啊记得使用"防护措施"哦

How long does this stay on? Just a couple of minutes. 这得等多久就几分钟吧

You've really never done this before? 你以前没试过染汗毛吗

Once in high school, but I dozed off and woke up with seconddegree chemical burns on my face. 高中时候试过一次，后来打盹醒来之后，我脸上就二级化学灼伤了。

Oh, my gosh, that's awful. 天啊！那也太惨了吧

The other kids make fun of you? 其他同学有取笑你吗

No, I had a cover story;I told everyone it was herpes. 没有，我编了借口我说那是疱疹

So, how's everything going with you and Leonard? 那你跟莱纳德一切如何啊

I don't know, it's still kind of weird. 不知道，还是有点怪

We haven't really recovered since he proposed to me in the middle of sex. Oh. Boohoo. 他上次的做爱中乱求婚的事我们还没缓过来你倒好

If Sheldon proposed to me during sex, my ovaries would grab on to him and never let go. 要是谢尔顿在我们做爱的时候求婚我的子宫一定会紧紧夹住他那里不放他走

Leonard, where do you stand on the anthropic principle? Interesting question. 莱纳德，你同不同意人择原理！这问题有意思

On the one hand, I always thought... You don't even know what it is, do you? 一方面来说，我一直...你根本就不知道那是什么，对吧？

The anthropic principle states that if we wish to explain why our universe exists the way it does, 人择原理指出如果我们想解释为何宇宙是我们看到的这种样子

the answer is that it must have qualities that allow intelligent creatures to arise who are capable of asking the question. 那会是因为它必须像现在这样演化出能问出这道问题的智慧生物才会有这个问题的出现

As I am doing so eloquently right now. 而我现在就正问着这问题呢

I know what the anthropic principle is. 我知道人择原理是什么？

Of course. I just explained it to you. 当然啊，我刚给你解释完

Now, where do you stand on it? 那你是同意还是反对呢

Where do you stand on it?  Strongly pro. 你同意吗？非常同意！

Then I believe that God created the world in six days,and on the seventh, he made you to annoy me. 那我就相信是神花了六天创世然后在第七天造了你来烦我你们

Hey, guys.Yeah, wait, Raj, where do you stand on the anthropic principle? 俩好啊！对了，拉杰你同不同意人择原理呢？

I'm all for it.  Attaboy! 完全同意  好孩子

Well, hang on. Why do you believe that he knows what it is and I don't? 等等！为什么你觉得他懂而我不懂什么是人择原理呢

Oh, Leonard. Let's not take a saw to the branch we're sitting on, shall we? 莱纳德，还是别了吧这说出来多伤感情啊

Hey, uh, if you guys are free tonight,I heard about a SPA where you soak your feet in a pool full of little fish that eat all the dead skin right off them. 你们俩如果今晚有空我听说有家SPA。你可以一边泡脚水里还会有小鱼帮你吃掉你脚上的死皮哦

I don't need to tell you, in Los Angeles,sandal season is year round. 不用我说你们也知道。在洛杉矶全年都是拖鞋季

Actually, I'm hanging out with Penny.  Oh, okay. 其实我跟佩妮有约了，好吧。

Sounds like it's me and you, Sheldon. 那就剩咱俩去了，谢尔顿。

How about we sic some guppies on those puppies? 一起去让小鱼帮我们打磨一下脚吧

As I've stated before on numerous occasions, the only sea creature I would even consider being eaten by is the Kraken,  我说过无数次了我唯一能接受被它吃掉的海洋生物就是北海巨妖

because the last words I would hear are:"Release the Kraken." That never gets old."Release the Kraken!" Oh, chills. 因为我死前听到的最后一句话是"放北海巨妖"这句话百听不厌"放北海巨妖"好怕怕哟

Besides, I'm having dinner with Amy. 再说了，我要跟艾米吃晚餐。

Oh, okay. I'll just go home and be alone. WWhich is cool. 好吧！那我回家一个人待着好了这样也蛮好。

I eat alone, I sleep alone, I cry alone, so... Cool.  我一个人吃，一个人睡，一个人默默流泪蛮好！

Darn.If you weren't busy, I'd ask you to join us. 真可惜如果你不忙，我还想请你跟我们一起晚餐呢？

Really? I can come? Thanks! 真的吗？我可以去吗？谢谢！

Sheldon, are you sure you want to be bringing Raj on your date night with Amy? Oh, absolutely. 谢尔顿，你跟艾米的约会之夜你确定要带拉杰去吗当然

I have a contractual obligation to provide Amy with conversation and casual physical contact, 根据契约规定，我得跟艾米聊天并有肢体接触

but nowhere is it specified that I can't outsource that to an Indian.  但是没有地方明确指出我不能把这项义务外包给印度人

Howie? Howie?Hey, there's my beautiful bride! Can you see me? 豪伊，豪伊，我美丽的新娘子！你可以看见我吗

I can. How are you? I'm amazing. 可以。你还好吗棒极了

I mean, this is even better than I dreamed. 而且是比我梦想中的还要棒

I look out the window, and... it's all so unbelievable. Good for you. 当我看出窗外，一切都是那么难以置信那就好

I just had a seemingly endless dinner with your mom. Oh, yeah? That's nice. 我刚跟你妈吃了一顿没完没了的晚餐是吗  那不错啊

It was. Until I found out you never told her we're not gonna live with her. 一开始还不错  直到我发现你没告诉她我们要搬出去住

Let's talk about that for a minute. 咱们来好好聊聊这件事吧

Hey, look, this pen is floating. How crazy is that? 快看。这根笔在飘浮耶很不可思议吧

You said you told her, but you never did! 你说过会告诉她，可你没有

Okay, okay, I know you're upset, but... 好吧！我知道你很失望，可...

let me share something I've learned since I got here. 不如我跟你分享下，我来这学到的道理吧

You realize how small your problems are when you're looking down on them from space. 当你从太空中往下看地球时你会意识到自己的难题  根本微不足道

Now, come on, that's got to make you feel better. 拜托，听完之后应该开心点了吧

How clear is the image of me on that screen? Pretty clear. 你在屏幕上看我有多清晰呀蛮清晰的

Do I look like I feel better? I mean, it's not, like, HD quality. 我看起来像有开心点吗？也没有到高清画质啦

Listen, mister, you're gonna talk to your mother and you're gonna fix this,  你给我听好了，快去跟你妈妈说把这件事给老娘处理好  

or that thing I said I was gonna do to you the minute you got home, you can do to yourself. 不然之前答应你你一回家就给你的"服务"你就准备"自己来"吧

Like he's been doing since he got here. 打从他上太空，就没少"来"过

Sheldon, this place is so romantic. 谢尔顿  这地方好浪漫啊

Oh, I'm glad you like it. Raj picked it out. 很高兴你喜欢是拉杰选的

Well, when you see him, tell him I say thank you. 你下次看见他  帮我说声谢谢

Tell him yourself. Over here! 你可以自己跟他说。这边这边

I don't understand. What's he doing here? I invited him. 我不懂  他在这里干嘛是我邀请他的

On our date? Sheldon, that's not okay. Yes, it is. 来当电灯泡吗谢尔顿  这样属于违约。才没有

There's a loophole in the Relationship Agreement. You found a loophole? 我们的恋爱协议有个漏洞。你居然发现了个漏洞

Sorry I started without you. I'm a little nervous.It's been a long time since I've been on a date. 抱歉我先点了。我有点小紧张我很久没约过会了

I can't believe I bleached my mustache for this. 真不敢相信我居然为了今天，漂白了胡子

You should go to my girl. 你应该找我那个美容师

She'll knock out those sideburns for free. 她还能免费帮你把鬓脚修掉

You know, Amy, I don't even think you and I have had a real conversation. 艾米，我觉得我们俩都没好好聊过

Let's use tonight to get to know each other a little better. 不如今晚就让我们加深对彼此的了解吧

You start. Go home. I don't understand. 你先开始。滚回家。我没听懂

Sheldon, how could you do this? It's our second anniversary. 谢尔顿  你怎么能这样呢？这是我们的两周年纪念日

It's your anniversary?! 今天是你们的纪念日啊

Oh, my God, I had no idea. 天啊  我真的不知道

Amy, please, let me make this right. Thank you. My pleasure. Waiter? 艾米  拜托让我将功补过。谢谢。这是我的荣幸  服务员

A bottle of champagne and three glasses. 香槟一瓶  杯子三个

Oh, boy, isn't this romantic? 天啊  这是不是很浪漫呀

Oh, I hope that's a rhetorical question,because I have no clue. 我希望这是个反问句因为我真不知道浪不浪漫

This is great. What's the occasion? No occasion. 真棒，今天是什么日子？什么都不是。

You know, things have been a little weird between us,so I wanted to throw together a fun night just for you. 你也知道，我们最近关系有点怪怪的所以我想为你准备一个开心的夜晚。

That is so sweet.  I got all your favorites. Beer, wings, sliders.We can watch the football game. 太贴心了，我准备了你爱吃的啤酒、鸡翅、小汉堡。我们可以看橄榄球比赛

I even painted my stomach. "Go sports"? 我还在我肚皮上写字了呢。"体育万岁"

well,in case you were in the mood for baseball,I didn't want to look ridiculous. 以防你突然想换成看棒球这样我什么球赛都可以加油到。

This is awesome. I love it! Good, I'm glad. 这太棒了，我超喜欢的你开心我也开心

Gosh, I worked my ass off today.This is exactly what I needed. 天啊，我今天累死了正好需要轻松一下