Where is everybody? 学生呢？

There is no class. 没有学生。

Did you send everyone to the principal's office already? 你这么快就把所有人都送去校长办公室了吗？

No one signed up. 没人报名。

Well, that's not your fault. 这不是你的错。

I called the department secretary to see what happened. 我打电话问学院秘书是怎么回事。

Apparently, I have a reputation for being obnoxious. 显然，全校的人都认为我很讨厌。

What? 不会吧？

Hey, Sheldon, I'm sorry. 谢尔顿，真是抱歉。

No, it's fine. 别，没事的。

Now I can devote all my time to dark matter. 现在我可以全身心投入到暗物质的研究中了。

Aw, you brought cookies for everyone? 你还给大家带了饼干？

Oh, yes. Fig Newtons. 对 "无花果牛顿"饼干。

I was going to ask them: which scientist both helped to develop calculus and had a famous cookie named after him? 我本来打算问他们，哪个科学家既对微积分有贡献，又有一款饼干以他命名？

And then after someone said "Newton". 等有人回答"牛顿"。

I was going to tell them they're wrong. 我就告诉他们错了。

The cookies are named after a town in Massachusetts. 这个饼干是用马萨诸塞州的一个镇命名的。

And then I'd throw the cookies away. 然后我再把饼干扔了。

Hey, what if I took your class? 我来听你的课怎么样？

Why would you do that? 你为什么这么做？

Yeah, why would you do that?  What's wrong with you? 你为什么这么做？你脑子出什么问题？

I'm thinking about getting my doctorate, and he wants to teach  why not? 我想拿到博士学位他想要教课，正好啊？

Oh, Howard. I appreciate the gesture, but this is a graduatelevel physics class. 霍华德。感谢你的提议，但这是研究生阶段的物理课程。

I don't think you'd understand a single thing I was talking about. 我觉得你根本无法理解我所讲的任何内容。

Ask why not again; I've got an answer. 再问一遍为什么不能来，我有答案了。

Sheldon, I'm more than smart enough to take your class. No. Yes. 谢尔顿，我的智商来听你的课绰绰有余了。不可能。真的。

How would you determine the ground state of a quantum system with no exact solution? 在没有精确解的情况下你如何确定量子系统的基态？

I would guess a wavefunction and then vary its parameters until I found the lowest energy solution. 我会任意猜测一个基态波函数，通过更改其参数找出能量最低的量子态。

Do you know how to integrate X squared times E to the minus X, without looking it up? 你知道怎么不查书也能求出x平方乘e到负x的积分？